


One Night in Washington

by duchess_of_brighton



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, And all the sex in between, Casey deserves love too, F/M, Handcuffs, Happy Ending, Humor, It's not all about Chuck and Sarah, Love, Porn With Plot, Rough Sex, Smut, romantic sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-24 21:21:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 57,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21106196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duchess_of_brighton/pseuds/duchess_of_brighton
Summary: Casey's stuck in Washington, and decides to give himself the night off. After all, what harm could come from a one night stand? It's not like he's going to fall for her...Lashings of smut, romance, and gratuitous handcuffs in a bid to prove that Casey deserves love too!Set sometime after the end of Chuck season 3.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to post a few old stories that I originally published on fanfiction.net, and while I said to myself I was only going to do the one shots, I couldn't resist posting this because 1) Casey is my original fanfic true love and 2) this was the first proper multi-chapter piece of writing I ever finished, and even though I'd edit the hell out of it if I was rewriting it now, I'm still pretty happy with how it turned out. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1

John Casey stood at the hotel bar nursing a scotch. The place was full of men in suits with an overinflated idea of their own importance, and Casey was reaching the point when he’d have to leave before the growl that was building up in his chest actually escaped. It was bad enough being stuck in Washington as it was, without having to put up with these assholes in order to get a drink.

He picked up his glass and knocked back the last mouthful, and then he saw her. Striding into the room, heading confidently towards the bar as she simultaneously surveyed the place, a tall brunette with her hair escaping from a stubby ponytail, dressed in a khaki shirt and jeans so tight he could almost pick out the individual muscles in her long legs. She looked a little travel worn and her heavy desert boots were filthy, but there was something about her that made heads turn. She sat down at the empty bar stool next to him and signalled the barman.   
“Scotch, double, straight up.” Her accent was British with just a hint of a US twang.   
Casey gestured the barman to put it on his tab and refill his own glass too. He was intrigued, and he figured there was no harm in buying her a drink. She turned to him as the barman poured.  
“Thanks, I wasn’t sure they’d actually serve me, underdressed as I am.” She shot him a grin, and as their eyes met the attraction was so instant that Casey had an irrational urge to take her mouth there and then. Her lips parted for an instant and then she snorted with laughter and he noticed the dimples in her cheeks that matched the laughing sparkle in her narrow dark eyes. She was probably around thirty five, and strikingly attractive.  
“You look alright to me.” He raised his glass in a toast to her, their gaze still locked, and she grinned again.   
“Well, I guess I can’t compete with those ladies over there,” She indicated with her head to a pair of women sitting further down the bar in tiny cocktail dresses and impeccable makeup, “But then I guess they’re at work, right?”  
Casey snorted slightly at her candid assessment of the women as high class prostitutes. He’d made the same judgement himself, but then sizing people up was his job.   
“Whereas in my line of work,” she said, glancing down at herself, “This is practically evening wear.”  
“So what is your line of work?” He skimmed his eyes up and down her form, taking in again the casual outfit, muddy boots and mussed hair. If he was honest with himself, he was also taking in the long toned legs, full breasts and curving waist. No point pretending otherwise, she had a knockout body. Curvy and fit, just his type.  
She shot him a cheeky smile and then very deliberately gave him the same once over he’d just given her. Her eyes took in his muscular form, and he felt his cock twitch as her gaze lingered candidly on that area before moving up to take in the broad chest, finally coming back to meet his eyes again. “Wouldn’t it be more fun to guess?” She knocked back her scotch in one.   
He smirked back at her. It had been a long time since he’d met a woman like this, since he’d felt attracted and challenged and intrigued.  
“I need another drink first though,” She turned slightly to attract the barman’s attention, and Casey noticed a slight pull in the back of her shirt. He couldn’t swear to it, but he was pretty sure she had a weapon tucked into her waistband. Curiouser and curiouser. For a second he considered the possibility that she’d been sent here to target him in some way, but he dismissed it. Nothing to gain, not here in Washington, and besides, anything to make this trip more interesting... 

Drinks replenished, he took his shot at assessing her. “You’re not military, not got the bearing for it, but judging by the way you ran your eyes over everyone in here as you walked in, I figure you’re no stranger to dangerous places.”  
She inclined her head slightly, a small smile playing on her lips.  
“I don’t figure you for medical personnel, or aid worker, and you clearly know how to handle yourself,” He leaned forward slightly and ran a hand down her back, lightly tapping that slight bulge in the small of her back - a knife. She shivered slightly at his touch, but then the dimples were back. “So I’m going to go with journalist. War correspondent maybe.” _Ilsa… No, nothing like Ilsa. Ilsa was a spy, remember?_  
She laughed. “Not bad! Documentary film maker actually, but you’re pretty much on the money. Just got back from a few months with the boys in Afghanistan. Just me, my camera, and a few dozen marines.”   
She smirked again. “Now my turn.” She took a sip of her Scotch. “Military background, for sure. Only got to look at you to see that. But I don’t think you’re still in uniform, and you don't look too natural in that suit either, although…” She reached her hand inside his jacket and ran it across his chest. Feeling the hard muscle under her fingers she let out just the tiniest gasp, but Casey heard it all right. Outstanding. For a split second their eyes met again and he saw the desire in hers mirroring his own, but then the smirk was back as she discreetly tapped the shoulder holster.  
“I saw a lot of guys like you, when I was in Iraq. I figure security contractor - the proper kind, dangerous men in dangerous places doing dangerous things. So how did I do?”  
“Close enough.” It was a cover he could adopt with very little effort.   
“So now we know.” She shifted just a little closer to him, and traced her hand across his chest again. “How long are you here in Washington?”  
“Couple of days.” Casey reached out and ran his fingers lightly along the side of her thigh. He would never have pursued this in LA, faithful to the cover of John from the Buy More, and one hundred percent focussed on the mission, but here in Washington he was could let himself off the leash for a night.  
“Same here. Little bit of R&R as you military boys would call it. To be honest, I just wanted to sleep in a real bed and have a shower when not surrounded by thirty men!”   
“Unisex showers huh?”  
“Oh yeah. I was one of the boys by the end. Morning PT drills and everything.”  
“Seriously?” He pressed slightly harder on her thigh, picturing her down in the dirt with his Marine Corps buddies, and she tensed the muscles in response.   
“Very seriously.” Damn, those dimples were hot.   
Casey glanced down at their glasses. Almost empty. Time to make the call. “So, what’s your plan for tonight?”  
“Well, after enjoying a nice long shower when I first checked in…” She paused and he pictured her in the shower, which was probably her intention.  
“…I was going to down a Scotch and get an early night.” She fixed him with a completely naked look of confident desire and leaned in to murmur in his ear. “But now I’m thinking I’d like you to pin me against that brick wall of a chest of yours, knee my legs apart, and drive yourself into me until I can’t see straight.”  
Casey almost choked on his last mouthful of Scotch as his cock reacted immediately to that extremely attractive proposition. “I like a girl who gets to the point.”  
“Well, that’d be me.” She drew back slightly and smirked again, a disarming mix of cocky tomboy and devastatingly attractive woman. “So, what do you think?”

Casey kicked the door to her room shut behind them, and pushed her straight up against the wall, capturing her mouth with his and kissing her hard. Their tongues stroked and slid against each other, and she tasted of whiskey and something sweeter. He hungrily ran his hands up and down the curves of her body while she pulled at his jacket and pushed it to the floor, exposing his shoulder holster. Without moving his mouth from hers, he removed the holster and threw it onto the dressing table next to them, and she wasted no time pulling his shirt off, losing a couple of buttons in the process, running her hands across his chest with a moan before wrapping her arms around his neck. His hands were inside the back of her jeans, feeling for her ass, pulling her tight against him. Christ, he’d forgotten just how good this felt.   
He grabbed her hands and pinned them against the wall above her head for a moment, pulling back from her mouth, giving them both a chance to breathe as he consciously slowed things down, reasserted control over himself. He was so damn close to ripping off her clothes and pounding into her, but he had all night. Still keeping his eyes on hers, he started to open the buttons of her shirt. She was panting slightly, breath catching in her throat as he exposed her upper body, pushing the shirt down her arms, pulling it away and throwing it behind him, taking in the full breasts encased in a plain black bra, and the narrow strap around her waist holding that sheathed knife against her back.  
“Don’t move.” He growled, and she gasped slightly, her pupils dilating. He undid the strap at her waist, reaching round her to carefully take the knife with one hand and unsnap her bra with the other. The knife went on the dressing table with his gun, the bra went over his shoulder to join the shirt. He captured her mouth with his again as he cupped the round heaviness of her breasts in his hands and ran his thumbs over hard nipples. She arched into his touch, and he bent and took a nipple in his mouth, sucking and nipping, as he reached down and unbuttoned her jeans, exposing plain black cotton panties, already slightly damp with arousal.  
“Not much call for lace in the desert,” She quipped, but there was a tremor under that cocky tone that hadn’t been there before. He bit her nipple gently before closing her mouth with a brief, forceful kiss, and then spun her round, pressing her breasts against the wall, her hands above her head, pinning her with his chest. He was still in control, but the edges were fraying again.   
He nipped her shoulder, grazing her with his teeth, and then crouched to pull the tight jeans down and expose those amazing legs. He made quick work of unlacing her boots, and those and the jeans were flung away, leaving her in just those black cotton panties. Her body was shapely, beautiful curves and toned muscles. He ran his hands slowly up her bare legs as he returned to standing, and took a firm hold of her hips.   
“Like what you see?” She turned her head, but left her hands in place against the wall.  
“Very nice." He murmured. "You weren’t kidding about the PT huh?”  
“No sir!” She was still sparring with him, but he could feel her body trembling and as tattered as his self-control was becoming, he was confident he'd last longer than she would.   
He swallowed her laugh in another kiss, and then ran his lips down her neck and across her shoulder. Holding her tight against the wall, he slipped his fingers round to the front of her panties, her soft moan fuelling his desire further as he pulled the soaked cotton aside and slowly slid his finger along her cleft. She was burning hot and so wet he almost lost it again. He gritted his teeth and moved his mouth against her ear, speaking in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper.  
“You know what I think? I think you’ve had to be one of the boys for so long that what you really need right now is to feel like a woman. So I’m going to give you exactly what you asked for.” He closed his fingers around the crotch of her panties as she gasped and pressed her hands harder against the wall. “I hope you’re not too attached to these,” He growled, and yanked them hard, ripping them from her body. He kneed her legs apart and slid two fingers into her, unbuckling his belt with the other hand. She threw her head back and moaned. “Oh god, please, now, please…”  
She was unravelling, and it was hot as hell, and Casey knew how to give her what she needed, but he needed it too, God how he needed it, and at the sight and feel and sound of her, he nearly lost control completely. He took a deep breath and let his pants and boxer shorts drop to his ankles, kicking them off along with his shoes. He was so hard it almost hurt.   
“Please what?” He pressed her against the wall again, his fingers still thrusting inside her. “You were happy telling me earlier.”  
“Please fuck me!” Her voice was breathy, full of need.  
He thrust his hardness against the soft curve of her ass, suppressed a groan, fought the desire to give in and jackhammer her into the wall.   
“That’s not what you said before. You were a lot more descriptive.”  
She groaned, pushing back against him. “Drive into me until I can’t see straight!”  
“That’s my gal,” He gasped, enjoying the fact that even half crazed with desire, she could still manage a hint of that disarming smirk.   
Wait, fuck, wallet... "Condom?"  
"You're good, just do it!" She moaned, and the realisation that he was about to feel her - tight, wet and wanting - around his unwrapped cock tore away the last vestiges of his restraint.   
He reached down and held her open with his fingers as he bent his knees and thrust up hard into her burning wet heat. It had been so long, too damn long, that he very nearly shot right then, surrendering to the caress of her inner muscles. But he drew out and thrust back in, setting a hard, fast rhythm, burying himself hilt deep every time, hardly hearing her moans and gasps as he lost himself in the sensation of her tight heat around his cock. He joined one hand with hers on the wall above her head, the other reaching around her, finding that melting spot between her thighs, rubbing in time with his thrusts as she bucked back against him, knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer.  
She threw her head back onto his shoulder and let out a long keening moan as her whole body spasmed, and Casey let himself go, grabbing her hips tightly as he bucked up into her one final time, spilling himself inside that hot, tight haven between her trembling legs. 

He came back to earth, feeling her slump into him, her hands sliding down the wall as he turned her to face him, staggering slightly himself, holding her against his broad chest. He cupped her chin with his hand, tipping her face so he could look into those dark eyes, now velvet soft instead of flashing a challenge.   
“That what you wanted?” He managed.   
She turned her face against his hand. “Exactly what I needed.” Her body felt drained of all energy as she leant against him.   
He wrapped his arms around her waist and half lifted her onto the bed, collapsing beside her. They were both bathed in sweat, completely spent.   
“Can't sleep,” She murmured after a moment. “That would be a waste." Her eyes were almost closed, but her dimples were back in full force. Casey could only muster a grunt in reply.   
Suddenly her eyes opened. “God, I don’t actually know your name!”  
He snorted with laughter. It suddenly seemed kind of ridiculous. “Ca- John, I’m John.”  
“Nic.” She held out a hand, smirking slightly. “Nice to meet you.”  
He took her hand, then leaned over to kiss her, savouring the taste of her. She opened her mouth and kissed him back, their tongues entwining, lazily this time. Moving incrementally, he closed the gap between them, slipping his arm around her waist as her fingers found their way into his hair.  
“I’m so tired.” She murmured against his mouth.   
“Do you want me to go?” He asked, hoping she’d say no but prepared that she might.   
“I’d like to rest against that chest of yours and sleep for a while.” She looked so vulnerable suddenly that something constricted in his throat and he had to swallow it down. It should have been a cue to make his excuses, but for some reason, he didn’t want to. Besides, what difference would a couple of hours make? It wasn’t like they were going to see each other again after tonight.   
“Fine with me.” He lay back and pulled her against him so that her head was pillowed on his chest, one of her legs slung over his, her hand resting on his stomach. She was soft and warm and it felt unexpectedly good to hold her. He rested a hand on her hair, stroking a few strands away from her forehead. It only took a few minutes for her breathing to settle and slow, and he knew she was asleep. If it had been a long time since he’d last had sex, it had been much, much longer since he last had a woman asleep in his arms. As he closed his eyes, he tried very hard to ignore how good it felt to be touched, to be intimate. _It’s just the dopamine talking_. He’d sleep it off, leave before she woke up, no harm no foul.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The first thing Casey was aware of as he swum into consciousness was sunlight, and the fact that it had to be at least 7am. The second thing he became aware of was hair tickling his nose. He almost flinched before he remembered where he was, and who he was with. He may have fallen asleep with her resting on his chest, but he woke up on his side, spooned tightly around her, her fingers entwined with his on the hand that cupped her breast, and his morning hard on pressed against the warm, curving ass he’d so admired the night before. As he shifted slightly she gave a soft moan.  
“Morning.” He kept his tone neutral. Being here when she woke up hadn’t been the plan, and for all he knew she’d want to kick him out pretty quickly.  
“Morning.” She blinked and stretched in his embrace, turning over onto her back. “Damn, I needed that!”  
It was his turn to smirk. “The sleep or...?”  
“Both.” Ah, there was the grin. He realised with a slight shock that he felt like he’d been missing it. _Yeah, for all of a few hours. Buck up Johnny boy, no use getting soft here._  
“I need to use the bathroom.” She ran her fingers along his arm and squeezed his hand as she wriggled out of his embrace and off the bed.  
He was about to take the hint and make his excuses when she picked up his shirt from the floor and wrapped it around herself. “Don’t go anywhere.” She smirked and stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.  
Casey lay back on the bed, stretching out, and wondered how to play this. On the one hand, he had briefings to prepare for and a healthy awareness that this was basically a one night stand. On the other, he hadn’t met a woman who piqued his interest this much in years, and quite apart from anything else, his cock was reminding him how much he’d enjoyed pounding her against the wall last night, and suggesting he try that again.  
So it was kind of a surprise when she stepped out of the bathroom wearing not his shirt, but running shorts and a grey tank top with USMC stamped across the front. She’d retied her ponytail too.  
“I wasn’t kidding about morning PT – you got time to show me what you’re made of?”  
He took a moment to appreciate the way the tank top gaped at the neck and sides, revealing those amazingly full breasts in a bright yellow sports bra. The shorts didn’t leave much to the imagination either, being so short he could almost see the crease where her ass met her thighs. But the tight ponytail and challenging grin told him she was probably serious about PT, at least as a warm up.  
Common sense would dictate a polite refusal and a quick escape, but common sense was losing this particular battle. _Well, you planned a morning workout anyway…_ “I’ll meet you in the gym in ten minutes.” 

After throwing on his clothes from the night before, Casey jogged back to his room on the floor above and searched through his bag for a suitable workout outfit. Two could play that game. He settled on regular knee length gym shorts, and a tight sleeveless t-shirt that showed off the chest she had been so keen to be pinned against last night, not to mention his muscular arms. He grinned at his reflection in the mirror, then told himself to stop being an ass. _This is why celibacy is a bad idea. You finally get some and you go gaga. _  
He was right about her being serious about PT. When he walked into the small but well equipped hotel gym, she was alone and already pounding the treadmill, and he was able to admire her form for a moment or two before she spotted him in the mirror.  
“Come on, I’m almost a kilometre ahead of you already!”  
Stepping onto the treadmill next to hers, he checked out the speed settings on her machine and deliberately set himself a faster pace.  
“Catching you up already!”  
She shot him a grin, and then upped her own speed settings, starting a pattern of one-upmanship that ended with them both gasping for breath and sprinting until Casey decided to be the bigger man and stop his machine, letting her ‘win’ by a few metres. She immediately hit the stop button and leant back against the side rail, breathing hard.  
“Damn, for a big guy you can shift!” She shot a look at his chest, the t-shirt now damp with sweat. “Nice shirt by the way.”  
“Right back at you. Souvenir?”  
“Leaving present from the boys in Afghanistan. I can still hear the old ‘drop and give me twenty’. In fact,” A slow smile spread across her face, “As I won the race, I think you should drop and give me twenty right now.”  
“Yes ma’am.” Casey dropped to the floor in front of the treadmills and started a set of push-ups. Ten regular ones, good and fast, then hell, why not show off – a few one-armed versions, then pushing down hard and springing up high enough to clap in between. After twenty he jumped back to his feet and smirked at her. “Satisfied?”  
“Extremely. I’ve never been able to do a one-armed pushup. It was an impressive demonstration.” She took a step closer to him, her chest lightly grazing his. “But then after last night, I would have expected nothing less.”  
Casey shot a quick glance around the gym, but they were definitely alone. He grabbed her ass and pulled her against him, crushing her mouth in a hard kiss. She kissed him back with force, pressing her crotch into his. For a second he was sorely tempted to take her right here, just throw her down on the stack of mats in the corner and go to town, but first…  
He pulled back, seeing a tiny flicker of doubt behind her confident stare, and mustered the sternest look he could manage.  
“Now you drop and give me twenty.”  
She snorted with laughter, and he couldn’t help the corners of his mouth twitching, but he kept up the stare and she shrugged and dropped to the floor. In fairness, she could pull off a decent set of military style push-ups, muscles flexing in her arms and shoulders, legs steady.  
“Get that butt down!” He growled, gently pushing down on her ass with his foot. She lowered it obediently, but he left his foot resting lightly there while he watched her through the last few reps, enjoying the way the sweat was spreading across the back of her shirt and beading the skin of her arms.  
“That’s twenty.” He removed his foot and she dropped to the floor, rolling over and staring up at him with a provocative expression.  
“Want to watch me do my crunches now?”  
He was about to retort when the door opened and two middle aged men walked in, heading for the bikes. Nic leapt lightly to her feet and grinned at him.  
“Guess that’s a sign for us to finish our workouts properly.” She headed over to the matted area and hit the deck for some complicated ab work, while Casey hit the weights and tried not to look over at her too often. Thing was, whenever he did risk a glance, she was always glancing at him too. 

After twenty minutes or so, she caught his eye on purpose, and gestured towards the door. Dropping his free weights with almost indecent haste, Casey followed her out of the gym. As soon as the door closed behind them, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back against him, revelling in the feeling of her hot body against his.  
“I don’t know about you," He growled in her ear, "But I need a shower.” He bit her earlobe gently.  
He could hear the smirk in her voice as she pushed back against him, grinding her ass against his crotch, and said, “Your place or mine?”  
“Mine has a walk in shower.” He held her in place against him with one arm, and moved the other hand up to roughly fondle her breasts through the sports bra. “Room for a good rub down.”  
She grabbed his other hand and pushed it between her legs. He could feel her heat even through her shorts, and couldn’t resist slipping his fingers round the edge of them and just grazing the wetness at her core. She shuddered against him.  
“Come on.” He let her go and grabbed her hand, pulling her along behind him, half running to his room, starting to kiss her as soon as they got through the door, both leaving a trail of clothes to the bathroom in desperation to feel skin against skin. She was moaning into his mouth, and Casey realised that he was doing the same, revelling in the soft curves under his hands, the taste and smell of her, the way she shivered as his hand palmed the slickness between her legs.  
“Fuck the shower.” He lowered her onto the bathroom floor and pushed inside her, his hands kneading her breasts, her legs wrapping around his waist as he kissed her deep and hard. He kneeled up, still inside her, just looking at her for a moment, spread out beneath him on the floor, the tangled ponytail, flushed skin, half closed eyes. Those big, beautiful breasts and curving waist, his eyes following down to where he was buried inside her, her wetness surrounding him, dewing her inner thighs.  
“Goddamn.” He pulled her up so she was straddling his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck, her lips against his, moaning and gasping into his mouth. He felt her start to come, and let go with a roar of release, emptying himself into her as she spasmed around him.  
“John, John, John!” Hearing his name on her lips made him come even harder, squeezing her tight, one hand fisting in her hair.  
He held his forehead against hers as their breathing slowed, his eyes closed, coming back to earth. When he opened them, she was staring right back at him. The look that passed between them was so raw, so naked, that Casey shut his eyes again, just for a moment. _This is a one night stand, Colonel. Get a fucking grip. _


	3. Chapter 3

“I still need a shower.” Her voice made him open his eyes again, looking into hers and seeing laughter this time. He kissed her slowly and slid her off his lap, then pulled them both to their feet. “Come on then.”  
He held open the door of the walk in shower for her, taking time to appreciate her body in the hazy sunlight coming in through the frosted window. She turned on the shower and pulled him under the spray with her, reaching for the bottle of hotel bodywash and filling her hands before sliding them down his chest and around his sides.   
“I swear, your chest just slays me. You’re like this solid slab of concrete.” She looked up at him, grinning. “The rest of you isn’t bad either, but your chest…”  
“I’m having trouble keeping my eyes off yours right now.” He scooped some of the lather from his chest and rubbed his hands over her breasts, cupping them and teasing her nipples gently. She made a soft moaning sound in the back of her throat.  
“I forgot to mention your hands. I am a big fan of your hands.”  
He slid his hands around her back and down to caress her ass, smirking at her choice of words.   
“Well I’m a 'big fan' of your ass.”  
“It’s still got your footprint on it from the gym.” She grinned and ran her own hands down his back and returned the favour. “I’ll sit on your back next time, see how you like it.”  
“I could take it.” They grinned at each other, and there was that strange sensation of connection, of something more than whatever this was supposed to be. Casey turned away and grabbed a bottle of shampoo, poured a little into his hands and started to lather her scalp, massaging with his fingers.   
“Careful, there’s probably still quite a bit of sand in there! You can take the girl out of the desert…”  
He moved her directly under the spray to wash the shampoo out, chuckling as he noticed that there were indeed more than a few grains of sand gathering round the plughole. He ran his fingers through her hair, separating out the strands, removing the tangles before smoothing it back from her forehead. She wiped the water away from her eyes and shook her head slightly.  
“Where did a man like you learn how to wash a woman’s hair?”  
This was the moment. Casey felt it, knew it. This was the point that he needed to retreat, to make his excuses, to remain to her always as that guy she had a one night stand with in Washington DC. The guy she didn’t get to know anything about other than supposition. The ex-military guy with the broad chest and fondness for her dimples who vanished after a morning shower without answering even the most seemingly innocuous question. That was who he was, that was who he had to be. But then he looked down at her, the sleek wet hair, those narrow dark eyes and full mouth, the knockout body, those goddamn dimples…  
“That might be kind of a long story. Maybe if you’re free for dinner, we could…” He trailed off. _Dammit John, what the fuck are you doing?_  
“Swap a few stories?” Her eyes were soft, and he felt the last of his resistance crumble. What would be the harm? One dinner, one more night?   
“Yeah.”  
“I’d like that.”

Casey wasn’t a big fan of long meetings at the best of times, but today his concentration was hitting an all time low. He’d left Nic dozing on his bed, waiting for a room service breakfast, and the image of her curled up in the hotel robe, body relaxed and soft, kept playing behind his eyes. Almost as much as the image of her pressed against the wall last night, surrendering to him, and the image of her spread on the bathroom floor this morning with him buried deep inside her. _ When is this damn meeting going to end?_  
He almost ran back to the hotel when the time finally came, and was in such a hurry to get to his room and see if she was still there in his bed that he almost missed the desk clerk calling out to him.   
“Mr Casey? A message for you!”  
He spun back and took the folded piece of paper from the clerk’s hand. ‘Meet me in the bar at 7. Nic’. He checked his watch. Just enough time to change out of this damn suit and knock back a Scotch. 

Half an hour later, dressed in dark grey pants and an open necked black shirt, Casey entered the bar and looked towards the spot he’d been sitting in last night when Nic had first walked in. There was an unfamiliar woman in that seat, and he almost turned away to look around the room when he recognised the curve of her waist into her ass. What had thrown him was that the ponytail had gone, replaced with golden brown waves that just touched her shoulders. Still a little mussed, nothing blowdried about his woman – this woman, he meant – but inviting him to run his fingers through it and pull her head close to kiss and tongue her… _Oh come on, this is getting ridiculous. She hasn’t even turned around yet and you’re panting like a horny teenager. _  
And then she turned around and flashed those dimples. Her dark eyes had been enhanced by just a lick of mascara, and she was wearing tiny black shorts and a black top with a wide neck that left one shoulder almost bare. The desert boots had been replaced with sky high black leather heels. He hadn't figured her for the high heeled type, but dammit, she looked stunning.   
He didn’t take his eyes off her as he walked across the room. Her eyes were wide, and it looked like his gaze was almost scorching her, and he didn’t care.   
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t take you upstairs right now and fuck you senseless?” He growled, standing just close enough to graze the front of her body with his.   
She reached out and took his hand in hers, stared back at him for a long moment, her eyes full of wanting, and then she slowly smiled, squeezed his hand, and somehow broke the tension.   
“Because I’m hungry?”  
It wasn’t that funny, but somehow it was the funniest thing that Casey had heard in a long time. He snorted, then chuckled, then roared with laughter, and she joined in, and then they couldn’t stop. Every time their eyes met it set them off again. His ribs ached, he was physically almost in pain from laughing so much. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d been helpless with laughter. Eventually they managed to bring themselves under control, and only then did he realise he was still holding her hand.  
“Okay,” He caught her eye and they both snickered again, but managed to keep it under control. “Let’s go eat.”

The concierge had recommended a small restaurant just a couple of blocks from the hotel, and Casey had held Nic’s hand every step of the walk there and no, he damn well wasn’t going to think about what that might mean. _Because it doesn’t mean anything. _  
Sat in a kind of semi-circular booth, sitting close to one another and sipping red wine, Casey rested his hand on her thigh under the table, and surveyed the other diners. It was a moment before he realised she was doing the exact same thing. She caught his eye and smirked.  
“Occupational hazard, huh?”  
“Looks like it.”  
“You ever in Iraq?”  
“Yeah, couple of times. Not for a while.” He couldn’t tell her the truth, even if it hadn’t been classified.  
“Never been anywhere where everyone spends so much time sizing up everyone else. Even the people on your own side. I watch people for a living, through the camera I mean, and even I started to get exhausted with it.”  
“What about Afghanistan?”  
“That was different.” She smiled a little wistfully. “It’s a funny thing, spending time with a unit like that? I really did become part of it in the end. I mean, I’m not kidding myself that I’m a Marine, but you start to understand why they call each other brother.”  
“Uh huh.” _Dangerous ground, John, dangerous ground. _  
“I mean, I know some of those boys now better than I'd know a real brother, better than I know any of my friends. I went out there to watch them and I ended up…” She trailed off.   
“How long were you out there?”  
“Four months. Should have been longer, but there was… Well, it was time to come back.” Her voice changed, and she smiled, and for the first time it didn’t quite feel genuine. “Anyway, you! What unit were you in?”  
He knew he should lie. But he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. “I was a Marine.”   
“No wonder I felt drawn to you.” She smirked and this time it was real. “Or maybe it was just your chest.” She pressed her palm against the centre of his chest, and he couldn’t resist squeezing her thigh, just a little.   
The waiter appeared with their food – medium rare steaks for two, yup, his kind of woman – and poured more wine, and they tucked in.  
“Can’t imagine why I’m so hungry,” Nic said, “Pretty much all I did today was lie around. After our workout of course. I hope you don’t mind but I stayed in your bed for most of it.”  
“I don’t mind.” Casey fought with himself before allowing the words out of his mouth. “I was hoping you’d still be there when I got back.”   
_Goddamn, she blushed. She actually blushed! _ If he hadn’t already been in thrall to this woman, that would have tipped him right over the edge.   
“It was pretty tempting. But I figured you so courteously asked me out to dinner, it would have been rude not to make a little effort, and that involved finding something to wear that hadn't spent four months in a kitbag.”  
“And that is appreciated, believe me.” He ran his hand down her bare thigh again, squeezing her knee. Her legs were satin soft.   
“Anyway, you were going to tell me how you learned to wash a woman’s hair like that?” She fixed her eyes on his, like she was daring him to lie.  
“There have been women. A couple of women. Not for a long time but, you know, women who counted.”  
“You ever been married?”  
He shook his head. “Nope.” He wasn’t going to tell her about Alex. That was classified in its own way.   
“And now?”   
“I move around a lot, the kind of work I do, and it’s not… Most women want a nice house and a couple of kids, and that’s not something I can provide, so I steer clear.”  
She was nodding. “Sounds familiar. Most of the men I meet think it’s all awesome in the beginning that I’m this intrepid film maker with sand in my hair and a knife under my shirt, like some kind of real life Lara Croft, but once they realise I’m away for months at a time and won't be around to cook dinner or wash their shirts, it’s suddenly a lot less sexy.” She caught his eye and smirked. “So I just take my opportunities and then roll on to the next project.”  
He growled softly and tapped his finger just once between her thighs. She shivered and he enjoyed it.   
“My kind of woman.”   
“Apparently.” She raised her glass in a slightly mocking toast.   
“So out in Afghanistan, you and what, thirty guys?”  
“Nothing like that.” She looked down for a second. “At the start they avoided me, and then once they got to know me I became more like their sister. They looked after me, and I tried to look after them a bit, you know? Advice about girls back home, or just someone different to talk to… I mean obviously I failed because-” She broke off, ran her hand through her hair, and took a deep gulp of wine.  
_We’re getting to it. Something heavy went down, and even though you should be running for the hills right about now, you really want to know, don't you? _. “What happened?”  
“What happens in war happened.” She grimaced. “I lost a really good friend. After DC I’m heading to North Carolina to see his sister before my next project.”  
He wanted to push her further, but years of training in interrogation had taught him that there was a time to push, and a time to let it go, and for now it was the latter.  
“What’s the next project?”  
“Oh, it’s a lot less heavy.” The sparkle returned her eyes. “I’m part of a project to document the privateer experience of this huge off-road rally across South America. Lots of big cars and motorbikes and interviewing crazy people who drive them across deserts for fun.”  
“Back to the desert huh?” He ran a hand lightly over her hair, remembering washing the sand out of it that morning.  
“Yup, can’t keep me out of it! I do love it though.” She looked thoughtful. “This great wide open space that basically wants to kill you, but accepts you at the same time.”  
Casey let out a little snort of surprise. “That’s always been my view on it. Since my first tour in that terrain.”  
Their eyes met in one of those loaded looks that spoke about their growing connection. The thing was, those looks also made him want to throw her down on the nearest surface and drive himself inside her.   
Her breathing had sped up, and the eyes that stared into his were full of desire. He felt his cock stir, and tightened his hand on her leg, letting one finger stray between her thighs.   
“Not to be a spoilsport,” She murmured, “But unless dessert can be eaten off your naked body, then I think I’d like to cut and run.”  
He couldn’t help just a hint of a smirk at the thought of her eating desert off his chest. Or other places. "Let's go." 

The two block walk back to the hotel seemed to take forever, even though they were walking at speed, her hand clasped tightly in his again, not saying a word or meeting each other's eye in case desire spilled over and they ended up in an alley instead of a bedroom.   
They fell through the door of her room and he pushed her up against the wall to kiss her hard. He lifted her into his arms and she wrapped her legs around his waist, grinding herself against him. He was rock hard, had been since they left the restaurant, and she was whimpering softly into his mouth as she pressed against him. Casey was so tempted to take her like that, but this was the last time he was going to be with her and he wanted to savour it, so he carried her over to the bed, tipping her down onto it and standing above her, staring down at the mussed hair, the long bare legs, and those dark, desirous eyes.   
“Take your clothes off.” He said, in a voice that allowed no argument.   
He saw vulnerability for just a second before she defiantly pulled off her top and slid out of her shorts, unhooking her bra and dropping back onto the bed wearing only a pair of tiny red silk panties.   
“You want these to come off? Then you take them off.”  
He growled, dropping onto the bed with his arms and legs either side of her body, pinning her in place.   
“Oh really?” He kissed her deep and hard, but as she tried to undo his shirt buttons he brushed her hand away. “Not yet.”  
He moved down over her body, kissing her neck, her collarbones, cupping her breasts and sucking on her nipples, biting gently, feeling her bucking underneath him.   
“Please,” She gasped, but he shook his head, moving down lower, nipping the skin of her belly, brushing his fingers across her hip bones, until he reached those tiny panties, now drenched with her arousal.   
“You want me to take these off?”  
“Yes,” It was almost a groan.  
“Last night I ripped your panties off. Do you want me to rip these off too?”  
She raised her head slightly and looked straight into his eyes, and what he saw there made him swallow. Something dark and primal, the same thing he’d sensed the night before. He knew it now, she liked him in control, and it was the sexiest damn thing he could imagine.   
“Put your hands above your head and hold onto the bedhead. Do not move your hands unless I tell you to.” His voice was a growl.   
She reached behind her and took hold of the wrought iron bedhead, her chest rising and falling rapidly with her breathing.   
“What are you going to do?”  
“Whatever I want." He slipped his hand under the front of her panties, grabbed the fabric firmly and ripped it away from her body, exposing her.   
“Keep your hands there, do not move your hands.” He reached out with one finger and drew it slowly through her wetness. She almost bucked off the bed, but kept her hands on the bedhead. He slowly lowered his head between her legs and tasted her, breathing in the scent and the feel and the sensation of her on his lips. He closed his eyes for a moment, his senses reeling. Then he slowly started to lick and suck at her, his fingers sliding into her as his tongue lapped at that sensitive spot at the apex of her thighs.   
She was moaning and gasping, and he looked up briefly to see that she was still holding onto the bedhead, her knuckles white. He thrust two fingers into her as he sucked hard on her sweet spot. She cried out and came, her juices drenching his hands and lips as she rocked against his mouth and fingers.   
“Oh god, John, oh god!”  
He tore off his clothes, covered her body with his and thrust inside her, finding her mouth and kissing her hungrily as he drove deep and found oblivion in the feeling of her muscles contracting around him, her arms wrapping around his back, her breath in his ear, until he exploded inside her. 

She lay with her head on his shoulder, her fingers tracing patterns on his chest, as their breathing returned to normal.  
“When you’re inside me, I forget who I am.” She said softly.  
“Is that a good thing?” He turned his head to look at her.  
“Yeah, sometimes it’s good to just… exist for a moment, completely lost in that moment. Do you know what I mean?”  
He stilled the hand on his chest by taking it in his, and kissed her hair to avoid answering, because he wasn’t sure that he did.  
“His name was Alfie.” She spoke quietly into the darkness, looking towards the ceiling. “I saw him die. I have nightmares about it. That’s why I don’t sleep.”  
He held her just a little bit tighter. This was something he did know about, though would never usually admit. “I have nightmares sometimes. Things I’ve seen, things I’ve done. I don’t sleep great either.”  
“You slept last night.”  
“So did you.” He turned his head and looked at her, to find her eyes staring right back into his. He almost said so many things, but settled for, “Sleep now?”  
She nodded, kissed him, rested her head back on his shoulder. He stroked her hair and felt his chest start to fill with a feeling he’d not known for a very long time, a feeling he’d tried very hard to stay far away from. A feeling he’d been skirting around since the minute he set eyes on this woman.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a description of death in combat, and while it's not super detailed, you might want to use caution if that's a trigger for you. You can skip the tale Nic tells Casey and still continue on to enjoy the rest of this story, promise.

Casey looked down at Nic’s sleeping form, her hair tangled on the pillow, one leg thrown over the duvet, her breathing light and even. He knew what he had to do, that was why his clothes were in his hand, but he wasn’t finding it easy. This was the reason he’d avoided attachments for so long. Hardly anyone would know it, but Colonel John Casey was a man with the capacity to love deep, and that was exactly why he didn’t allow himself to. He didn’t quite know how this woman had snuck under his radar and wriggled her way through his perimeter fence, but he had to effect an escape now, before it was too late.  
He slowly reached for his boxer shorts, telling himself he was only watching her to make sure she didn’t wake up, not so that he could imprint her face in his mind. But just then, she stirred and made a low sound of fear. Her leg began to shake, and her body went rigid. Then she screamed.  
He was back on the bed before he could think about it, pulling her into his arms.  
“It’s a dream, it’s a dream.”  
Her eyes flew open, full of panic, and she clawed at him for a moment before she woke up enough to register where she was, and with whom. Then she burst into tears, huge gasping sobs that made her breath rasp and sounded like they hurt. Acting on pure instinct, he pulled her against him and wrapped his arms and legs around her, holding her tight and letting her cry.  
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” She gasped through her sobs.  
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Shush, it’s okay.” He continued to hold her tightly to him while she slowly brought her breathing back under control. Eventually she raised her head slightly and tried to smile at him.  
“Sexy, huh?”  
He looked at the red, swollen eyes and blotchy skin, and almost started to laugh when he realised that actually, he did still find her incredibly sexy.  
“Would take more than a few tears to change my view on that.”  
She shook her head slightly. “I need to wash my face.”  
“You need to tell me what that was all about.” His voice was soft, but he made it an order, and he didn’t loosen his hold on her.  
“John, this-” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, “This was supposed to be a little light hearted R&R, and I really don’t expect you to deal with my fucked up shit. Seriously.”  
She was giving him an out, and ten minutes ago he’d been at the point of sneaking out of her room. This should be the perfect opportunity to leave it here, to let it go now before things got any deeper; but Casey finally had to admit to himself that he didn’t want to. Burbank felt like a million miles away, and Nic was right here in his arms.  
“Tell me.”  
She tried to look away but he brought a hand under her chin and made her look at him again.  
“Tell me.”  
She yanked her head away and tried to pull herself out of his embrace, but he held firm. After a few seconds she slumped back. “You really don’t want to know.”  
“I do.” He took her chin again and bent his head to kiss her gently, but she deepened the kiss and pressed against him. He knew a diversionary tactic when he saw one, but usually those diversionary tactics weren’t being employed by smart, intriguing, gorgeous women pressed naked against his body. He was sorely tempted to let her have this one, but at the same time he knew that if he did, he might lose his chance to get at the truth of her nightmares, and if he could do that then maybe he could leave her with a little peace, if nothing else. _Because whatever you might want, you are going to have to leave her. _  
He pulled away just a little bit. “Truth first. What were you dreaming about?”  
She sighed, and turned in his arms so that she was facing away from him. He tucked in behind her, aligning his chest with her back, his arms still tight around her.  
“It was an IED. I dream about the explosion, and Alfie screaming, all the blood…” She shook her head. “Over and over again. Everything was fine, and then it wasn’t.” She stopped, and he lay silently holding her, willing her to go on. “They never tell you about the smell, do they? I mean, you hear people talk about the noise, or the sensation of being hit with an invisible force, but no one talks about the smell.”  
He closed his eyes and pulled her even tighter into his arms. He knew the smell she was talking about.  
“It’s not like the smell of smoke, it’s deeper and thicker, and for a second-” She swallowed down a sob. “For a second you think of barbecue, but then you realise that it’s, it’s…” She started crying again and he had to finish for her.  
“It’s people burning.”  
She nodded through her tears. “Alfie was my best friend in the unit. He was the first one who came over to talk to me, and his mum was English like mine, so he had a messed up accent, and knew all the same stupid English kids’ books, and Marmite! We used to make everyone else feel sick wafting Marmite at them, and we just… We got each other. He was like my little brother. He used to talk to me about girls, and what he was going to do when he got home, and then one day he was due to go out on patrol and I wanted to go along and he said ‘Sure, you take my seat, dollface.’” She snorted with a teary little laugh. “He called me dollface because he said my eyes were like this shitty china doll of his mum’s whose eyes never opened all the way, because we ragged on each other like that…”  
Casey knew what was coming, and he almost wanted to stop her, to spare her the pain of reliving it, but reliving it every night in her sleep would be so much worse.  
“So I took his seat, and he jumped in the front vehicle with some of the other guys, and we were just driving along in convoy, all routine, I was shooting footage inside the Humvee, and out the window, and having a laugh with the guys, and then there was this almighty bang, so loud it took a minute to process that it was a sound at all…”  
Casey screwed his eyes shut for a second and tried not to relive the times he’d felt that same sensation. Too many times.  
“And then the wave hit us, and then the screaming started.” She was crying again. “The guys were piling out of the Humvee and taking up defensive positions, and someone tried to push me back into the vehicle but I got out and I looked and I saw the first Humvee flipped over and fire and blood and screaming and Alfie was lying there and his legs were gone and he was screaming and screaming and I ran and I got there and he was choking and there was blood everywhere and I tried to do something but there wasn’t anything, so I put my hand on his face and he was trying to look at me, and I think he saw me, I think he did, and then he died.” She took a deep shaky breath. “I took his seat. He was in that Humvee because of me.” She took another long breath. “He died because of me. That’s the first time I’ve actually said it out loud.”  
“Turn over and look at me.” He was a little surprised when she did as he asked. He stroked her tearstained face.  
“He wasn’t in that Humvee because of you.”  
“I just told you, he was. I took his seat.”  
He shook his head. “No. He was in that Humvee because he was a Marine and he was fighting for his country. He was in that Humvee because we’re at war and it was his job to be there. You need to trust me on this. I was a Marine, and I promise you, there is no way he would hold you responsible.”  
She was crying again, but softly this time. She buried her face in his chest and he stroked her hair.  
“I promise you, Nic, I promise you, you are not responsible. And if you were there at the end, if the last thing he saw was the face of a friend, that is not a bad way to die.” He paused for a second, because he was entering dangerous territory again. _Hell, too late now… _“I’ve seen a lot of people die, and I’ve seen good deaths and I’ve seen bad ones, and believe me, for all the pain of those last few minutes, this one sounds like a good death.”  
She raised her head from his chest and looked at him. “Have you killed people?”  
“Yeah.” Because it was too late to lie, and she wouldn’t have believed him.  
"A lot of people?"  
He nodded, keeping his eyes on hers. She moved her head back to his chest and they lay in silence for a little while. She wasn’t crying any more.  
“You know earlier, when I said that when you’re inside me, I forget who I am?”  
“Yeah, I remember.”  
“I think I’d like to forget again for a while.” She moved to straddle him, her legs either side of his waist, her breasts pressed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she leant down to kiss him. It was slower than before, their tongues sliding against each other, his hands moving up to tangle in her hair. He felt her wetness against his stomach, and smiled into her mouth. She pulled back from their kiss and he saw her give just a hint of a smirk in the moonlight. _Damn, I love that smirk._  
“What’s the smile for, soldier?”  
He slid a hand in between their bodies and cupped between her legs.  
“You’re soaking my stomach.”  
“Just the effect you have on me.” She reached back and grasped his cock. “And the effect I have on you, apparently.”  
Casey growled, and she snorted with laughter. She brought her mouth to his ear, “Thank you,” she whispered, before kissing him again.  
As their kiss deepened, he started to stroke between her legs, teasing her, enjoying her soft little gasps and moans. But as her legs began to tremble, she moved down, pulling away from his fingers, dropping kisses on his chest, nipping him, working her way downwards. He gasped as her hand closed around him and she slid her mouth over the head of his cock. He groaned deep in his throat, stars exploding behind his eyes. _When was the last time..? _And then he realised that he didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to be anywhere but here in this moment, with her hand on his chest and her tongue teasing his cock and her wetness on his leg, and as he felt her move to kneel above him, he grabbed her hips and guided her down onto him, his fingers stroking her, the telltale tremor starting in her body. And then he was rolling them over, still buried deep inside her, taking control as she shattered around him, her fingers digging into his back, and then he was coming and coming and coming and groaning her name like she was moaning his, and forgetting whose hands were whose and where his body ended and hers began and who he was and what he was, and he forced his eyes open and looked right into hers as everything else spiralled and fell away. 

“Wow,” Her voice was soft in his ear. He was still on top of her, still joined with her, his face buried in her hair. She stroked his head. “That was…”  
He raised his head with effort, and lifted himself on his elbows. “Did I crush you?”  
“Only in the best possible way.” She grinned at him, and he found himself grinning back because actually, it was kind of funny. Except that she’d turned him upside down and inside out and he didn’t have a clue where to go from here. He shook his head.  
“What’s going on here, Nic? Seriously?”  
“Damned if I know. I thought we were just sharing a little mutual R&R.”  
Even though her tone was light, he could see the chink of vulnerability in her now. Had always seen it really, right from the start.  
“When do you leave DC?” He asked.  
“I have a flight to North Carolina at 1pm. Then I’m going straight from there to the rally tomorrow night.”  
“I’m flying back to LA at eleven hundred.”  
“Is that where you’re based? LA?”  
“Yeah, past couple of years. But I move around a lot.” Truth, again. At least sort of.  
“Me too, obviously.”  
Casey could hardly believe the words he was about to say. Thirty six hours ago it would have been unthinkable. “When can I see you again?”  
“Phew,” She let out an exaggerated sigh and slapped him lightly on the shoulder. “I was worried you were never going to ask.”


	5. Chapter 5

Six hours later, as his plane hit cruising altitude, Casey was still feeling a little bit dazed. Forty eight hours ago when he’d last been on a plane, he hadn’t known Nic existed. Now he was trying to figure out how to keep her in his life. _And whether you’ve actually lost your mind. _  
It had been surprisingly hard saying goodbye. They’d said it once before he went back to his own room to pack and change clothes, then he hadn’t been able to resist going back to her room to say goodbye again, which had turned into quick, frantic sex up against the door, her legs wrapped around his waist and his mouth on hers the whole time. He'd barely made the flight as a result.  
He thumbed through the contacts list on his phone, looking down at the new entry. Nic Sullivan, phone number and email address. Then he put his hand in his pocket and smirked as his fingers brushed the shredded red silk she’d pushed into his hand as he was leaving. Ripped panties, one hell of a leaving present. He closed his eyes and pictured those dimples. 

Almost two weeks later he was in Castle at 2am, sorting the weapons locker, and wondering if it had all been some kind of illusion. She’d warned him that she wouldn’t likely be able to call, but the longer he went without contact, the more he started to believe it might all have been some kind of mirage induced by long term celibacy.   
Hearing soft footsteps behind him, he spun round only to relax when he saw it was Sarah Walker.   
“What are you doing here this late, Walker?”  
“Couldn’t sleep. Figured I’d come in and finish off some paperwork.”  
His disbelief must have showed on his face.   
“Okay, I had a fight with Chuck. I don’t want to talk about it. What are you doing here so late?”  
“Sorting the weapons locker.”  
“Obviously. C’mon Casey, you’ve been even more monosyllabic than usual since you got back from DC. What’s going on?”  
“Nothing’s going on.” He checked and replaced the Sig in his hand, and picked up the next one in the rack.   
“I don’t believe you. Come on, we’re partners. If something happened in Washington, if you’ve got a new assignment or something, you need to tell me.” Her face was open and genuine.   
“It’s nothing like that.”  
“Then what?”  
He almost cracked. Almost. But as if on cue, his phone rang. He snatched it up and turned his back on Sarah.  
“Casey.” He shot Sarah a look over his shoulder that was supposed to communicate ‘go away’, but she either didn’t get it or deliberately ignored it.   
“Remember me?" Nic’s voice was soft in his ear, set against a lot of background noise. “I’ve got a sat phone, two minutes, and a recurring flashback of you ripping my knickers off.”  
He let out a breath that it felt like he’d been holding since he’d last seen her. Not a mirage then. “That sounds like something I need to hear.” He glanced at Sarah again and made a shooing gesture. She raised an eyebrow and took a few steps back.   
“I’d love to elaborate, but I really do only have two minutes.” He could hear that smirk in her voice, and pictured her face. "So I’m working out where to fly to out of the rally next weekend and I thought, if you were free, maybe I could-"  
An image of her sprawled naked on his bed made him interrupt. “Come to LA. Stay with me. I’ll message you the address so it’ll come through once you’re back in range.” _And worry about the fact that it’s next door to Chuck and Sarah’s later. _  
“Just what I hoped you'd say. Listen, I- Shit, I have to go. I’ll try to call again, but you know, desert, work, about three sat phones for hundreds of people…”  
“It’s fine.” He hesitated, but then he said it anyway. “It’s good to hear your voice.”  
“Yours too.” She said without hesitation. “I can't wait to see you," She lowered her voice, "And feel you..."  
He almost groaned aloud. "Me too.” He growled instead. He glanced once more over his shoulder, Sarah was definitely in earshot.   
“Bye.” The line disconnected before he could reply. He put his phone down and turned round to face Sarah, deliberately summoning his most closed off and forbidding expression. Not that it worked.  
“Who was that?”  
“A friend.”   
Sarah raised an eyebrow.  
“What? I have friends. I just don’t discuss them with you and your love puppy.”   
Sarah held her hands up in surrender. “Okay, your business is your business.” She turned and started back down the corridor, then casually threw over her shoulder, “You could have at least told me her name.”  
Casey grunted in response and Sarah just grinned as she continued walking away. 

Three nights later Casey was asleep when his phone rang. Instantly alert, he picked up and leapt out of bed at the same time.   
“Casey.”  
“It’s me.”   
He sunk back onto the bed, a smile coming over his face. “It’s-” He checked, “2:04am. What is it with you and late night calls?”  
“Only chance of getting to a sat phone. The last of the privateers are just rolling back in, so everyone’s settling down for the night. It was an easier stage today.”  
“Where are you? It sounds quiet.”  
“Halfway up a sand dune, looking out for motorbike lights. I had to bribe someone, like actually bribe with cash, to get this phone, so I hope you’re appreciating the effort!”  
“Oh believe me, I am.” He was grinning like an idiot. _But what the hell, no-one here to see it._  
“I’ve been thinking about you.” Her voice grew softer. “Especially when I’m lying in my sleeping bag in the bivouac.”   
“What have you been thinking about?” His hand slid downwards towards his cock. He was already hard just from hearing her voice.   
“Your little habit of ripping my knickers off. And the way your hands feel on my skin.” Her breathing was getting faster. He imagined her sat high on a sand dune in the dark, her fingers reaching between her legs, touching herself.  
“How do they feel?” He wrapped his hand round his cock. After all, he'd always prided himself on being quick to adapt to any situation...  
“Strong. Hard. And soft at the same time.” She paused. “Are you in bed?”  
“Uh huh.”   
“Naked?”  
“Uh huh.”   
She let out a little noise. He glanced at the empty space beside him. “If you were in this bed with me, I would do things to you that would make you scream.”  
She moaned softly. “Tell me.”  
His hand moved faster on his cock. “Go down on you, make you come with my tongue-"  
"Yes..."  
He closed his eyes and pictured it. "It makes me want to be inside you."   
Her breath was coming in gasps now. “I love it when you’re inside me.”  
“You feel so good..." He groaned at the thought.  
“Oh god,” She moaned and he could picture her so clearly it was as if she was there with him.   
“I want to hear you come.” He growled.   
She gasped and squeaked as if she was stopping herself from crying out, and Casey came all over his hand at the image of her spasming with her fingers between her thighs.   
For a long moment they both just breathed down the phone.   
She spoke first. “I wish I was there.”  
“Me too.” He glanced at the empty space beside him again. _When did you start thinking of it as empty?_ “Are you sleeping?”  
“Yeah, mostly. Not like I did that first night in DC though.” She laughed a little. “After your chest, my pillow is too soft!”  
He smiled to himself in the darkness.  
He heard her move, sand shifting, as she said, "I’d better go. Take the phone back, get some sleep.”  
“You do that. I’ll see you at the weekend, right?”  
“Right. I should get there Saturday evening. It’s not a scheduled flight though, so…”  
“I’ll see you when I see you.”  
“That’s me.” She was smirking, he knew it.   
“Goodnight beautiful.”  
“’Night handsome.” She rang off.  
_Goodnight beautiful?!_ Casey was almost disgusted with himself. Almost.


	6. Chapter 6

Casey was not a man who put a great deal of thought into home furnishings. He had his bonsai, somewhere to sit, somewhere to sleep, and that would do him just fine. Of course he also had a ton of surveillance equipment, weaponry and other tools of his trade, but they were locked away for the duration. So he had to ask himself why he’d spent the last two hours examining his apartment from every angle, shifting the furniture around twice, and the only answer he could come up with was that he was actually worried what Nic would think of the place.  
To be fair, she didn’t strike him as the materialistic type, or the homely type, but he wanted her to feel comfortable here. He was contemplating moving the couch yet again, when the doorbell rang. Cursing at the prospect of Chuck or, worse, Morgan, he almost didn’t answer it. It was 11am, Nic would be here at some point later in the day, and until then he wanted to get the apartment straight. _And how about getting your head straight as well, Colonel?_ The bell rang again, and he strode to the door with his unfriendliest expression already fixed on his face, opening it only a crack until he realised that the person standing on the other side of it wasn’t Chuck or Morgan, but a rather sandy brunette with a wicked smile.  
“Nic!”  
She threw her bags past him into the room and launched herself at him, flinging her arms around his neck and kissing him hard. He picked her up and stepped back into the apartment, her legs wrapping around his waist as he pushed her back against the door, kissing her like his life depended on it, which right now it kind of felt like it did. He stroked his tongue against hers, his hands squeezing her ass, feeling her breasts pressed against his chest, and her heavy desert boots grinding into the small of his back. She was moaning softly into his mouth, tilting her hips to rub against his hardness. He made a lightning fast assessment of the situation, weighed comfort against expediency, and shifted her more securely in his arms and carried her over to the couch, her legs still wrapped round his waist, lips still meshed together. He managed to tip them both onto the couch without breaking their kiss, settling himself over her, and immediately reaching under her t-shirt to feel her breasts, pushing her bra aside as she moaned into his mouth. She put her hands to his face and gently pulled back.  
“Too many clothes,” She panted, tugging at the hem of his t-shirt. Casey obligingly pulled the t-shirt off over his head, and then pulled hers off too, quickly followed by her bra. He bent his head and feasted on her breasts, kissing and sucking as she raked her fingers through his hair. He was as close to losing control as he’d been on their first night together, except that now he knew this wouldn’t be the last time, that it didn’t matter if this was rough and hungry and fast, because he could give her long and slow later.  
He came back to kiss her mouth, and her hands started to push down his pyjama pants. He fumbled with the buttons of her khaki shorts, and knelt up to pull them down her legs.  
"Should have taken my boots off first!" She panted, shooting him a smirk.  
"You can leave them on." He retorted.  
He dropped the shorts over the side of the couch, and growled as he saw that underneath she was wearing no panties, the dark curling hair between her thighs a little thicker than he remembered. He slid his hands under her ass and raised her hips towards his face, sliding his tongue along her cleft, hearing her gasp.  
Tasting her again was intoxicating, and he tongued her hard, enjoying the heat, the wetness, the unique sweet taste of her. Then suddenly he felt her legs wrap round his shoulders and before he knew it he was on his back on the floor beside the couch and she was kneeling over him.  
“How did you-?"  
“Old trick,” And she silenced him with a kiss, pushing down his pyjama pants just enough to free his cock before she sank down onto him. He held her hips as she moved on him, his thumb stroking her sweet spot, his eyes on her breasts as she threw her head back and started to tremble. He grabbed her waist and drove up into her, losing himself in the pleasure of being inside her again.  
“Oh god, oh god.” Her eyes were closed and she was squeezing tight around him. “I missed you inside me.”  
“Open your eyes,” He rasped, and when she complied it felt like he could see right into the heart of her as she exploded around him. He thrust once, twice more, riding her through it, his eyes still fixed on hers, then he couldn’t hold out any longer and with a long groan, emptied himself inside her, holding her waist so hard she’d have bruises.  
She collapsed forward onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around her back.  
“Welcome home,” He muttered, without thinking, and then immediately regretted it. This wasn’t home, not for her and not even for him. But he felt her smile against his chest.  
She raised her head to look at him. “Good to be back.”  
She dropped her head back onto his chest and he stroked her hair. After a few minutes he realised, with not a small measure of amusement, that she was asleep. He shifted very slowly onto his side, bringing her with him, and although she murmured something and rubbed her face, she didn’t wake up. He quietly got his feet under him, then slid his arms under her knees and shoulders and lifted her, cradling her gently as he carried her upstairs to his bedroom. He placed her on the bed and snorted with laughter as he registered that she was still wearing her boots. He couldn't resist taking a mental picture before deftly unlacing them – discovering a small knife sheathed inside the right one, which made him smirk – then peeling off the sand covered socks beneath, and throwing both into the corner. He pulled the blankets over her, and stood for a few minutes, watching her sleep. He could see the fatigue in her body, and a hint of it around her eyes, and he realised that she must have travelled overnight to get to him earlier. It should have scared the hell out of him, but instead it made him smile.  
"What have you done to me, woman?" He asked softly. "Where the hell did you come from, and what the hell am I going to do about it?" 

Casey heard her footsteps on the stairs, and closed the lid of his laptop as she appeared.  
“How long was I asleep?”  
“Couple hours. I guess you were tired.”  
She nodded and rubbed her eyes. He noticed that she had appropriated one of his t-shirts to cover her nakedness. _It suits her. _  
“I was trying to get here earlier. I left yesterday afternoon, and ended up taking three different planes.” She yawned and her face screwed up like a kitten. He smirked, as much at the confirmation of his theory as at her cat face.  
“What?”  
He shook his head. “You hungry?”  
“Mmm hmm.”  
“I didn’t have a chance to go to the store yet. You want to go out?”  
She nodded and yawned again. “Shower first?”  
“Sure, bathroom’s just up there, next to the bedroom.”  
"Yes, how exactly did I get to the bedroom?" She gave him a mock quizzical look.  
He shrugged. "I carried you."  
She snorted. "I weigh a ton!"  
"Oh no you don't. Light as a feather." He flexed a bicep at her and she grinned, but her eyes darkened.  
"So, that shower..." She turned back towards the staircase, then looked back over her shoulder and pulled the t-shirt off over her head. "You coming?”

An hour later, a much less sandy Nic and a very clean Casey (some parts almost polished), sat in a nearby diner tucking into pancakes and coffee. Their feet were entwined under the table, and he was enjoying hearing her talk with enthusiasm about her trip. The only trouble was, every name she mentioned belonged to a guy, and he was feeling just the slightest hint of, well, if he really had to define it, he'd have to admit it was jealousy.  
“Seriously, the way those guys power through on next to no sleep, digging the bikes out of dunes, making repairs as they go along with only the most basic kit… It’s amazing. Rich particularly, on one stage he only got back to the bivouac ten minutes before the start of the next stage, so he didn’t even get off the bike, just rode on through the start line, wing and a prayer of staying in the race. And Matt! Matt rode practically a whole stage on the rim after a puncture and still made it back inside the time.”  
“Sounds crazy.”  
“They probably are, but the film is going to be great. All these charismatic, gung-ho guys taking on the desert… It’s almost inspired me to give it a go – almost!”  
“Do you ride a bike?”  
“Sure. Not for a while, but I used to have one when I lived in London. You ever ridden one?”  
“Driven most things in my time. Cars, bikes, tanks.” He was showing off just a little, but it felt justified.  
She grinned. “Tanks huh? Where was that?”  
It was a reasonable question, but Casey almost froze. _That’ll teach you to brag…_ For a minute he’d forgotten that he was talking to a civilian.  
“In the desert.”  
“Which desert?” She was still smiling, but her expression was just a little quizzical.  
“First Gulf War.” It was true, and that one didn’t need to be a secret.  
“Right, of course. You said you’d been in Iraq. What other tours did you do?”  
“There were quite a few. Can’t talk about most of them.” He tensed, but she seemed unconcerned.  
“Guess not.” She leaned over and speared a piece of his pancake with her fork. He growled and she giggled. She popped the piece of pancake in her mouth, then put the fork down and put her hand over his, entwining their fingers.  
John Casey, out in public with a woman, holding hands. And liking it. He stroked his thumb against the back of her hand.  
She smiled. "You know, it was strange. When I was on the rally, I was surrounded by all of these guys, outnumbered at least forty to one, and I didn’t fool around with a single one of them.”  
“Oh really?” He raised an eyebrow and tried not to smirk.  
“Really. You know, just in case you were wondering.” She shot him a look, and flashed those dimples.  
“None of my business either way.” But he couldn’t keep the smirk off his face now.  
“Whereas I bet the ladies of LA were lining up to keep you company.” She was smirking too, but he could see that flash of something else behind her eyes.  
“Nope.” He shook his head. “I kept my own company.”  
She looked down at their joined hands, and spoke so quietly he had to lean forward to hear her.  
“It's crazy, but... I missed you.”  
He squeezed her hand. “I missed you too. Thought about you a lot.” Not words he’d ever thought he’d be saying, but it was true.  
She looked up. “Me too.”  
“Listen, it’s not that I mind either way, but how long are you going to be here for? I mean, are you off again in a couple of days, or..?”  
She shook her head. “At the moment I don’t have another assignment lined up. I want to go to London to see some friends, and I need to spend at least a few weeks in New York to work through the editing on the Afghanistan film with my producer, but I’m around, you know?”  
He opened his mouth to reply, but she wasn’t done.  
“Not that I’m in any way planning to stay here in LA or anything! I mean, I’m not assuming anything here.”  
“Nic-”  
“I don’t want you to think I’m presuming anything about you or this or anything beyond a repeat of what we had in DC, if that’s what you-”  
“Nic!” He barked, and she finally stopped talking. “I’m not assuming anything here either. I was just hoping you didn’t have to disappear too soon.”  
She breathed out and smiled. “I won’t disappear.”  
“Good.” He forked up the last mouthful of his pancake. She caught his eye and then glanced away again, almost shyly. He squeezed her hand again. “I was going to cook tonight. Planned to go out and fetch everything before you arrived. I thought we could have dinner, catch up," He paused and smirked, "I even considered candles." _That’s it. Officially gone soft. _  
A wider smile spread over her face. "Ah, so I disrupted your romantic plans by showing up early and demanding sex?”  
“Pretty much.” They smirked at each other, and somehow he knew that this was going to be okay. Better than okay.

They left the diner still hand in hand, and walked back towards the apartment.  
“So where would a girl go to buy clothes around here?” Nic asked as they reached the courtyard. “Everything I own is full of sand and designed for a desert, and I’m feeling a craving for exotic things like new jeans and a t-shirt that doesn’t smell of motor oil.”  
A voice piped up from behind them. “I could help with that.”  
Casey recognised the voice and closed his eyes for a second before turning with a seriously forbidding expression. Sarah Walker was standing right behind them.  
“Hi, I’m Sarah. I live just there with my boyfriend Chuck.” She held out a hand and Nic grinned and shook it. “Hi, I‘m Nic.”  
“So is this the friend you were telling me about?” Sarah smiled innocently, and Casey vowed to get his revenge on her in the dojo as soon as humanly possibly.  
“You been telling people about me?” Nic smirked at him and he realised he was still holding her hand. _Guess the cat is out of this particular bag. _  
“Oh no, Casey's really a very private person.” Sarah replied. “He just let slip that he had a friend coming to stay this weekend.”  
Casey glared at her and put his arm around Nic’s shoulders. “We should get inside."  
“Of course.” Sarah was still smiling that innocent little smile, and Casey could have killed her. “Did you want those shopping tips though?”  
“Please!” Nic grinned. “I hardly know LA at all.”  
“Well if you have some free time right now, I could take you around a few stores?”  
Nic turned to Casey. “You said you had to get food for tonight, mind if I go with Sarah and get a few things?” She lowered her voice. “If nothing else, I’m all out of clean underwear.”  
“I noticed.” He murmured, then shooting one more murderous glance at Sarah said in his normal tone, “Sure, sounds like a plan.”  
"Okay, well let me just grab my phone." Nic took the keys from Casey and disappeared into the apartment. Casey opened his mouth but Sarah got there first.  
"Who does she think you are?"  
"Security contractor. We met in Washington, I wasn't going to say Buy More salesman."  
Sarah nodded, a slight smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Anything else?"  
He grunted. "Yeah. You're nosey as hell."  
"Just being neighbourly."  
Nic reappeared and smiled. "All set."  
He pulled her close and kissed her, briefly licking into her mouth with his tongue, tasting her. "See you later."  
Sarah made a slight choking noise, and Casey smiled to himself. He released Nic and smiled at them both. “Have fun!”

Judging by the number of shopping bags round her feet when he opened the door to her three hours later, Nic had had plenty of fun indeed. She leaned in to kiss him before gathering up her purchases and bringing them inside, dumping them just inside the door.  
“Okay, that was enough shopping to last me the rest of the year – or two, possibly.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. “Not something I normally count as a leisure activity. Got a few things you might like though.”  
He kissed her back, a little deeper. “Oh yeah?”  
“Mm hmm.” She kissed him again, pressing tight against him. “Maybe I’ll put something nice on for dinner, since you’re cooking.”  
He pushed her back against the door, kissing her neck, grazing her with his teeth, “I’d like to see that.”  
“I bet you would.” She breathed, running her hands down his back to grab his ass and press him tighter against her.  
Just as he was about to start removing her clothes, the oven timer started to beep.  
“Damn it.” He kissed her once more and then stepped back. “I really am cooking dinner, and it’s going to burn if I don’t get back in there.”  
She raised an eyebrow and smirked, and for that he pushed her against the door again and kissed her so hard she was left gasping. Then he grinned, patted her cheek and went back to the kitchen.  
“Okay, okay, I surrender.” She laughed. “How long until this culinary masterpiece is complete?”  
“Half hour or so?”  
“In which case, I’ll stash these bags and get changed.”

Casey was just putting the dishes on the table when she reappeared, and he narrowly avoided dropping a bowl of potatoes at the sight of her in a dark blue cotton dress that was really a slightly elongated tank top, clinging lightly to her breasts and hips and only just covering her ass. Her feet were bare, her legs endless, and her lips were coloured a deep plum.  
“Closest I get to dressing like a girl,” She quipped, but he was able now to spot when there was that hint of insecurity there.  
He growled low in his throat. “You look stunning.”  
She smirked. “So does this! What are we having?”  
“Steak. With potatoes and green beans. And then pie.”  
“You made pie?”  
He nodded.  
She drew back a chair and sat down. “What kind of pie?”  
“Wait and see.” He pulled out his own chair, sitting at a right angle to her at the corner of the table. He immediately felt for her knee and squeezed it, running his hand along her bare thigh.  
“This feels familiar,” She grinned. “You groping my legs while we eat steak.”  
He smirked back at her. “I’ll grope your legs while we eat anything at all.”  
She pretended to swat him off. “I’m hungry! Steak first, groping later!”  
“Yes ma’am.” He spooned potatoes onto her plate.  
He saw her spot the candle in the middle of the table and she grinned.  
"So I did merit a candle after all?"  
He shrugged, tucking into his steak. "Thought I should make an effort." He slid a hand under the table and squeezed her thigh again, and she laughed.  
"Okay, I have to ask," She paused for a large bite of steak, "And this is really good by the way, but what's with Reagan?" She inclined her head towards the portrait on the wall.  
"Last proper president we had." He replied.  
"Oh god, I'm sleeping with a gun toting Republican, aren't I?" But she was smiling.  
He shook his head and finished his mouthful before replying. "You're sleeping with a military man who believes in the right to bear arms and protect this country."  
"Well, you're sleeping with a Democrat who believes in gun control. And of course I'm half English so I think it's a matter of national pride to disagree with you on firearms."  
"You ever fired a gun?" He asked, genuinely curious. Usually these conversations would get him riled, but somehow when it was her he didn't mind.  
"Of course I have. Amount of time I've spent in conflict zones, it would be strange if I hadn't. I'm not saying no guns, I'm saying guns for those who actually need them. And definitely not bloody assault rifles for all." Her tone had become a little more heated.  
"Might surprise you, but I don't necessarily disagree with you there." He shrugged. "I'm all for protecting your property, but I can appreciate the argument for a level of proportion."  
"Well okay then." She half laughed. "I guess we can try to meet in the middle."  
He couldn't resist. "When's your birthday?"  
"October, why?"  
"I know what I'm getting you is all..."  
She swatted him and then kissed him. "Don't even think about it." 

An hour later they were relaxed on the couch, Nic’s feet in Casey’s lap as she ate the last of her third helping of apple pie.  
“I am such a pig! But this pie is so good, and I’ve been eating too much freeze dried survival food lately.”  
Casey gestured at the half empty pie dish on the coffee table. “There’s still more in there.”  
“God no, I’ll burst!” She set her bowl down, put her hand on her stomach and groaned theatrically. He laughed and tickled the sole of her foot. Her foot jerked away from him as she gasped with laughter, and a wicked look came over his face.  
“Ticklish, huh?” He held her left foot firmly in his grasp and ran his fingers lightly across her sole, chuckling as she gasped with laughter again. He moved up to tickle behind her knee and got the same response. _Er, how old are you again, Colonel? _  
“Not fair!” She gasped, trying to fight him off with playful swats. He let go of her foot and grabbed her wrists, flipping her so he was pinning her to the couch with his bodyweight, then using his hands to tickle her in every place he could get to amid her wriggles and shrieks of laughter.  
“Mercy, mercy!” She shouted, holding her hands up in surrender, still giggling. Casey looked down at her laughing face and sparkling eyes, and felt a surge of something warm and almost painful through his chest. He bent his head and kissed her slowly, teasing her with feather light touches of his mouth, flicking the tip of his tongue against her lips so that she opened her mouth and allowed his tongue to stroke against hers. She moaned softly.  
“John…”  
He kissed along her jaw, down her neck, and across her collarbones. Her hands were light on his back, in his hair. He ran his hands gently down her sides, gathering the fabric of her dress and sliding it over her head before kissing her again. He drew back just a little and looked down at her. She was wearing a satin plunge bra and tiny panties, their plum shade matching her lips. He swallowed, meeting her eyes. The mood had somehow turned serious, and she looked almost scared.  
“You are beautiful.” He kissed her again, cupping her breast softly in his hand, rubbing his thumb over her nipple through the fabric of her bra. She let out a little gasp.  
He felt her hands come round to unbutton his shirt, and laid more butterfly kisses on her neck and shoulders while he enjoyed the sensation of her undressing him. His shirt hit the floor and he slid his torso against hers, trying to suppress a gasp of his own at the softness of her skin against his. He kissed down her breastbone, sliding his hands under her to undo her bra, freeing her breasts and running his tongue over first one nipple then the other, sucking and nipping, enjoying the way she arched up into his touch. He laid kisses across her stomach and down to her hipbone, unable to resist laying one soft kiss between her legs before hooking his fingers into the sides of those tiny panties and sliding them down her legs and over her feet. He stood up, drinking in the sight of her laying naked on his couch, her eyes on his, her teeth gently biting her lower lip.  
"Come here." He lifted her into his arms and swallowed her gasp with a kiss as he turned and carried her upstairs to the bedroom. He dropped her gently onto the bed, and shucked off his pants and boxers.  
She reached out for him and he settled himself over her, parting her thighs with his knee, kissing her mouth, her eyelids, her cheekbones, his hands running over her breasts, her waist, her hips.  
"Oh god," She breathed as his fingers found their way between her legs, and he kissed her again.  
Five words were pounding in his head as he relished the taste of her, the subtle scent, the softness of her skin. The words that explained all of this, even if he didn't want to accept it. He kept having to bite them back and muffle them with kisses, keeping his lips pressed tight against her skin. She opened her legs wider beneath him, tilting her hips, pressing gently against his hardness. He made a sound deep in his throat as he slid slowly inside her, inch by inch, losing himself in the sensation. Her breathing was ragged against his neck, her fingers running up and down his back as he moved slowly in and out of her, pushing up higher onto his elbows to look down at her face and kiss her again.  
Her legs wrapped around his hips, holding him deep inside her as her fingers dug into his back and her body began to tremble.  
“Oh god... I'm going to..."  
He kept moving in and out of her slowly, watching her face flush, her lips part, her head tip back. He brushed his thumb over her mouth and watched her shiver. Her eyes screwed shut, her breath coming in tiny gasps, her mouth opening, and then she came, her muscles fluttering around him, his name on her lips like a prayer, and he let go inside her, holding her hips still with one hand, the other in her hair, pulsing into her, the words finally escaping and groaning into her ear.  
"I'm in love with you."

He drew out of her very slowly, his face still against her hair. He was almost afraid. _Guns, bombs, armies, all the things normal people are afraid of? No problem. But this?_ He raised his head, steeled himself, and met her eyes. They were velvet soft, softer than he'd ever seen them, and she smiled a smile that made his heart skip.  
"I don't mean to brag," She said softly. "But I fell in love with you on the bathroom floor in DC."  
He remembered the look that had passed between them that morning as he'd held his forehead against hers, something raw and infinite.  
He bent his head and kissed her softly, then rolled off of her, drawing her into his side. She snuggled up against him and rested her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms tight around her.  
"Do you have plans tomorrow?" She asked.  
He shook his head. "Nope."  
"Good, because right now I want to stay in bed all day, watch Battlestar Galactica and fuck like rabbits." He could feel her smile against his chest.  
"Battlestar Galactica?" His disbelief must have been clear, because she raised her head to look at him.  
"Yup. Part of my time honoured decompression ritual after a trip. You should be honoured."  
"Can I take back the part about being in love with you?" He couldn't believe he was able to joke about it, but then he could barely believe any of this was happening at all.  
She snorted and bit his shoulder playfully. "Have you ever actually watched it?"  
"No!"  
"Well your first job tomorrow is to go buy us the box set, then we're going to lie in bed and for every episode you watch, I will do wicked things to you."  
He smirked. "I'm warming to this plan now."  
"Oh, I forgot - Sarah invited us for dinner tomorrow night."  
He stiffened just a little bit. She looked worried, and he smoothed the frown from her forehead with his thumb.  
"You don't like Sarah?" She asked.  
"I like Sarah just fine, I just... Didn't know Sarah could cook." _But she sure can stir it up._  
"I think someone else is cooking - Ellie? Does that name mean anything to you?"  
_Perfect. _"Ellie is Chuck's sister."  
"And Chuck is Sarah's boyfriend? Right?"  
"Right." He tried not to sigh.  
"I like Sarah. She's smart." Her voice was getting sleepy. "You have nice friends."  
He squeezed her a little tighter and she laid her head back on his chest. _Nice friends? Oh this is about to get complicated. _


	7. Chapter 7

Casey woke up before her and enjoyed watching Nic mumble nonsense in her sleep for a few moments, before remembering last night's conversation. He wondered if the Buy More would have Battlestar Galactica, then realised that there was almost certainly a box set available at a much closer location - but at a much higher price.   
He slid out of bed and pulled on shorts and a tshirt, quietly padded downstairs and let himself out into the courtyard. There were signs of life at Chuck and Sarah's place, and he grimaced before knocking on the door. _Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do._  
"Casey! To what do we owe this early morning visit?" Chuck opened the door wide and gestured to invite him in. “Coffee? Or do you need to get back to your lady friend?"  
Casey growled. "I need to borrow something."  
"Of course buddy! Sugar, juice, condoms?"  
"I swear to god I will smack that smile off your face Bartowski!"  
Sarah appeared behind Chuck.  
"Chuck, stop teasing him. What do you need Casey?"  
"I need the boxset of Battlestar Galactica and I need neither of you to say a damn word about it."  
Struggling to keep a straight face, Chuck nodded. "I'll go get that for you." As soon as he was out of sight Casey could hear him explode with laughter.   
"So I like Nic..." Sarah reached out and touched his arm. "She's smart."  
"She said the same about you." He admitted, slightly grudgingly.   
Sarah smiled. "You guys are coming over for dinner tonight, right? With Ellie and Devon?"   
He sighed. "Like I have a choice. Thanks to you, Nic thinks I have 'nice friends' who happen to be my neighbours."   
“Well, maybe you do.” She was still smiling, and it irritated the hell out of him.  
“Or I have a partner who can’t keep her nose out of my business, and an asset with a super computer in his head, both of whom work with me in a secret team that my- Nic knows nothing about.” He pointed out.   
"Well, how much have you told her?" Her reasonable tone was irritating the hell out of him.   
"I told you, she thinks I’m a security contractor. She knows I was a Marine, that's about it. She hasn't pushed too much. "  
"From what she told me, she’s been around combat enough to understand that things can be classified.”  
He nodded. “But unlike some people, I prefer to keep my work and my private life separate.” He stared her down until Sarah finally looked just a little abashed.   
"Well I will brief everybody, and it will be fine. Ellie and Devon are smart enough to understand why you wouldn’t share your real job with her right away.”  
“I still don’t like it.” _It feels like lying. Not security, not confidentiality, not spy work. Lying._  
Chuck reappeared with a chunky boxset in his hands.  
"Here you go, prepare for a life altering experience!"   
Casey grunted and tucked the box under his arm, turning to leave.  
"See you tonight buddy!" Chuck called after him.

When he got back to the apartment, Nic was still asleep. He set the coffee machine going, and carried the TV into the bedroom. The sound of it landing on the dresser made her stir, and he sat down on the edge of the bed and kissed her sleepy face. She smiled without opening her eyes.  
"Do I smell coffee?"  
"Coffee, and your terrible TV show, for which you owe me a very large debt."  
She opened her eyes and smiled up at him. "Seriously?"  
"Mmm hmm.” He leaned down and kissed her, feeling the tension start to leave his body, at least for now. “And if you're really good, you can have leftover pie for breakfast."  
She reached out and ran her fingers under the back of his shirt. "Well then why don't you take off your clothes, get back in this bed and I'll show you just how good I can be." 

Four hours, a lot of Battlestar Galactica, a fair amount of fooling around and half an apple pie later, Casey was feeling truly relaxed for the first time in recent memory. He would even grudgingly admit to quite liking the show. What he was enjoying the most, however, was the warm, naked, slightly pie-smeared woman tucked up close against him.   
“When did you last do this?” He asked.  
“In London, just before I went to Afghanistan.” She paused. "Wait, do you mean this-" She gestured to the TV, "Or this?" She gestured at their entwined bodies.   
He laughed. “I was talking about the TV show, but since you brought it up..."  
She smirked. "Well, like I said, my last boxset marathon was in London... And the last time I did the other thing was when I was on a work trip to Singapore a few weeks before that. You?"  
"I have never participated in a boxset marathon before." He replied straight faced, and honestly.  
"But you have definitely participated in the other thing before." She smirked. "So?"   
He sighed. "It was a while."  
Her eyes narrowed. "How long a while?"  
He closed his eyes for a moment, remembering the night with Ilsa. "Look, the kind of assignments I have don't tend to present those opportunities." _Bored housewives at the Buy More? No thank you. _  
She kissed him. "Stop stalling."   
"Fine. Three years, pretty much."  
"Three years?!" She stared at him in disbelief. "When you're this good at it?!"   
He grunted, but couldn’t contain just a hint of a smirk.   
She reached up and kissed him again. "Well, you can work off those three years on me whenever you like."  
He grabbed the remote and hit the pause button, then pulled her onto his lap so she was straddling him, taking her face in his hands and kissing her deeply. He wrapped his arms around her back, and rubbed his hardening cock against the softness between her legs.   
“I’d like to watch you ride me and see how many times I can make you come before you beg for mercy.” He growled in her ear. She moaned softly.   
“I love watching you come,” He continued. “I love making you come.”  
She raised her hips and slid down onto him, gasping at the sensation as he filled her. He held her close as she rocked on him.  
“I love the feel of you around me.” He slid a hand between their bodies, feeling for that secret spot between her thighs, caressing it with his thumb.   
“Oh god,” She breathed.   
“I love watching your face when I’m inside you.”  
She moaned and he kissed her hard but briefly.   
"I love that you’re always ready for me, since that very first time when I pinned you against the wall.”  
She whimpered, digging her fingers into his shoulder as she moved faster on him.  
“I love knowing that you were lying awake in the desert thinking about me doing this to you, wanting me to do this to you.” He struggled to keep his voice steady as she trembled around him.   
She pushed down hard, cried out and came. He held her still for a moment, stroking her back, kissing her, then started to push gently in and out of her again, making her moan and gasp.   
“I can’t… It’s too much…”  
“Yes you can,” He said, his own voice not entirely steady. He stroked between her thighs again with his thumb, so lightly and softly he was barely touching her, making her moan and shiver against him. “You’re going to come for me again, because I need to feel you around me, because I love seeing you like this, feeling you like this…”  
Her eyes were squeezed tight shut, and he felt her tremble around him and come again, gasping against his mouth. He had to grit his teeth to avoid following her over the edge.   
“Please, please…” She opened her eyes and stared straight into his, still moving on him, shuddering with the intensity and pleasure of it. "Please come with me… I want to feel you… Oh god…”  
She spasmed again and this time he couldn’t hold out any longer. He gripped her tight and let go, thrusting up inside her.   
Her mouth was pressed against his ear, she was moaning softly, “I love you, love you, love you…”  
He groaned and found her mouth with his, kissing her as the wave broke, gripping her hips, adding to the finger shaped bruises already blossoming there. 

“I’m sorry,” He said as they lay tangled together afterwards. He ran his fingers over the marks on her waist and hips. “I don't mean to hurt you.”  
“Don’t worry, in the litany of my scars and bruises, these are ones I rather like.” She smirked.  
He rolled onto his front and took a closer look at the bruises. “They shouldn’t mark.”  
“I told you, it’s okay.”  
He ran his fingers over a jagged scar on her right thigh, faded to white with age. “What was this?”   
“Badly placed nail.”  
He ran his eyes and then hands over her body, examining her as she sputtered with laughter. Her skin tone varied from ivory to golden tan, with smatterings of freckles here and there, and a mishmash of tan lines on her shoulders. But she was right, there was a pretty good collection of marks and scars. Nothing to rival his, but for a civilian…  
“This one?” He asked, picking on a deep circular scar on her left ankle.   
“That one’s gross - infected sandfly bite. The best one is here.” She turned onto her side and extended her arm above her head, exposing the side of her ribcage. There was a thin curved pink scar running across diagonally from the bottom rib up to the underside of her right breast.  
“Knife?” It was the type of scar he recognised.   
She nodded. “Misunderstanding about my profession.” She said lightly. “Happens on occasion.”  
He bent his head and kissed the scar, running his tongue along it gently.  
“What’s the story?”  
“One for another day.” Her tone was slightly dismissive, and he had that rare feeling that she wasn’t being entirely genuine. “Your turn.” She declared before he could argue, and pushed him onto his back and kneeled up next to him.   
She ran her fingers across his chest, parting the hair so she could uncover the scars. He watched as the smirk faded from her face. Silently, she gestured him to roll over so she could examine his back next. Then she worked her way down his arms and legs, running her fingers over every mark.   
“What was this?” She asked very quietly, fingering an irregular mottled patch of skin on his left thigh.   
“Acid.” He answered without thinking. It had been a long time ago.   
“You’re just… you’re covered in scars.” He looked up at her and saw her face had paled.   
“Long career.” He shrugged. _Don’t go there. We’re not going there. _  
“The ones on your back… I’ve seen scars like that before. You were whipped.” Her voice was shaking. “I know you were a Marine, but John, these are the marks of… You were…” She choked on the word.  
“Interrogated.” He said, before she could say something else.   
She shook her head, and he saw tears in her eyes.   
“It was a long time ago. It’s okay.” He tried a dismissive tone of his own, but she wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly.   
"Don't feel sorry for me." His tone was harsher than he'd intended, but her reaction was touching places inside him that he would rather stayed forgotten.   
"I don't." She said, still holding him. "I just wish I'd been there when you came home."  
Casey rested his chin on the top of her head, breathing in the smell of her hair, and allowed himself the briefest fantasy of what it would have been like to have crawled into Nic's arms after his escape, instead of into a cot in a mobile field hospital. If he'd been able to lose himself in her that night instead of staring at the roof of the tent, exhausted but afraid to sleep.   
"I love you." He whispered into her hair, so softly he wasn’t sure if she could hear him or not.

"So what should I be wearing for dinner?" Nic stood in the bathroom doorway in her underwear, watching him shave.  
"If it were up to me, less than that." He replied, taking a moment to enjoy the view.  
"Seriously!"  
"It'll be relaxed. Don't worry." _Yeah, everyone on their best behaviour… _  
She made a face and headed back to the bedroom. A few minutes later she was back.  
"How's this?"  
She was wearing dark denim bandage-tight jeans, with the wide necked black top she'd worn when he'd taken her out for dinner in DC. Her hair was loose and her lips were painted plum again.  
"Perfect."  
"Phew." She pretended to collapse against the doorframe.  
"Why are you so nervous?" He splashed water over his face and dried off.  
"I want your friends to like me!"  
"Sarah already likes you."  
"How do you know?"  
"She told me when I went over there to borrow the box set."  
"Okay." She let out a deep breath.  
He dropped a kiss on her cheek as he passed her in the doorway.   
"I'm going to put a shirt on and then we'll go."  
"Wait, should we take something?"  
"Well, we could have taken pie but you ate it all."  
She stuck her tongue out at him.   
"There's wine in the top cupboard next to the sink." He relented.

"Hi!" Sarah flung the door open and ushered them inside. "Come on in, want a glass of wine?"  
"Please." Nic smiled, but Casey could tell she was still a little nervous. He'd never seen that before, and he found it strangely cute, given her normal confidence. He rested his hand in the small of her back and she leant into him just a little.  
Sarah smiled at them both. "Nic, this is my boyfriend Chuck, I told you about him yesterday."   
"Everything she told you is a lie." Chuck grinned and Nic smiled back and shook his hand.   
“So you’re not charming, handsome and smart?” She asked.   
Chuck laughed. “Well that part is true enough.”  
Sarah handed both Nic and Casey glasses of red wine. "Devon got called into the hospital, but Ellie is in the kitchen."   
“No, I’m here.” Ellie came into the room with a beaming smile. “Hi, I’m so glad to meet you.” She shook Nic’s hand. “Devon and I actually saw your documentary about the Day of the Dead a couple of years ago. Amazing.”  
“Oh wow, thank you.” Nic blushed, and Casey really wanted to kiss her. Actually, he really wanted to take her back to the apartment, away from the minefield that was this evening, and then kiss her. _And then do some other things to her… Focus, Colonel! _  
“I’m really glad you liked it.” Nic was saying.   
“Seriously, John, did you see it?” Ellie asked him.   
He shook his head. “Not yet.”  
“Well your girlfriend is really talented.”  
The word gave him a jolt, and he could feel by the slight tensing of Nic’s spine under his hand that it had the same effect on her.  
Sarah smoothly interjected. “I can’t wait to see the film about the desert rally, when you were describing it to me it sounded amazing!” She guided Nic over to the sofa. “Ellie, you should hear some of these stories.”  
The three women settled on the sofa and at Sarah’s urging Nic was soon recounting tales of the rally.   
Casey stood with Chuck, half listening and half just watching Nic talk. He enjoyed seeing her animated face and the way she illustrated everything with unconscious hand gestures. She soon had Sarah and Ellie in stitches, and Chuck was laughing too. He slowly began to relax. Maybe this evening would be alright after all.   
The oven timer started to beep from the kitchen, and Ellie jumped to her feet.  
“Okay, Sarah, Chuck, all hands on deck please!”  
As the three of them went into the kitchen and started ferrying plates and dishes through to the dining table, Casey drew Nic against him and took the opportunity for a brief kiss.   
“Okay?”  
“Yeah. I told you, your friends are nice.”  
“What Ellie said…” He felt her stiffen slightly.   
“It’s okay, I mean, I’m in this, you know that, but the labels..."  
He took gentle hold of her chin and made her look at him. “I’m in this too, and I don’t want to put a label on it either, but it’s not a terrible description in the meantime.”  
She grimaced. “I guess…”  
“It’s that or ‘hotel bar hook up’.” He smirked.   
She smirked back, and then smiled properly and reached up to kiss him. “Okay.”  
“Enough of that!” But Chuck was smiling at them as he said it. “Dinner is served!”

After an absolute feast, including a dessert of apple pie which made Casey smirk and squeeze Nic’s thigh under the table, everyone was relaxed and chatting easily. There had been a few sticky moments when cover stories creaked a little bit, but Sarah, Casey and Chuck were all adept at dealing with that. Nic was leaning against Casey now, his chair pulled close to hers and his arm around her shoulders. He'd fixed Chuck with a dangerous look while he shifted his chair, but Chuck hadn't laughed at all - if anything he'd looked pleased.   
“Are we having coffee?” Ellie asked, “Because if we are then I nominate Chuck to make it!”  
Chuck groaned. “I will do as commanded.”  
As he rose to go into the kitchen, Sarah watched Nic pick up her wineglass and spotted a ring on her right hand.   
“Nic, that ring is beautiful, can I see?”  
Nic proffered her hand so Sarah could examine the intricate silver ring.   
“It was a gift for my 16th birthday. It’s the only jewellery I ever really wear.”  
“It’s really stunning.”  
“Let me see?” Ellie leaned over to take a look too, but Casey’s eye was caught by something else – Chuck was standing stock still with a strange look on his face.   
“Casey,” Chuck said, in a voice that wasn’t entirely steady. “Can you give me a hand in the kitchen please?”  
Casey stood and followed Chuck through the archway and leant against the kitchen counter.  
“What’s going on Bartowksi?”  
“Casey, man, I really don’t know how to tell you this…” Chuck was half whispering, his tone agitated.  
“What is it?” Casey glanced through to the dining table, where the three women were deep in conversation.  
“Casey, I flashed. I flashed on Nic’s ring.”  
“You what?!” He felt as though the floor had just shifted under him.   
“Casey, she’s with MI6. She’s in a photograph taken in Iraq with Cole Barker – remember him?”  
“You said you flashed on the ring – how do you know it was her?”  
“Tall brunette in sunglasses, in Iraq, with a unique ring on her finger. Buddy, I am so sorry.”  
But Casey was already moving. He walked through to the dining area.   
“I think we should make a move.”  
Nic looked up and shot him that smile of hers, those dimples. “Okay.”   
He couldn’t believe it. But then at the same time, maybe it all made sense. The chance meeting, the instant connection…

His training allowed him to act normal as they said their goodbyes, which was more than he could say for Chuck, who was visibly struggling to do the same. Casey kept his hand on Nic’s back as they walked across the courtyard and back into his apartment.  
“Scotch?” She asked, walking into the kitchen and picking up a bottle from the counter, pouring two glasses.  
“I need to ask you something.”  
She turned around and smiled, proffering a glass to him. “What is it?”  
“Are you MI6?” He asked bluntly.   
“What?” The smile faded from her face and she set the glass down on the table.  
“Are you MI6? Because I ran your file and there was nothing in there, but-” He watched her face, but it showed only confusion.   
“Wait, what? You ‘ran my file’? What are you talking about?”  
“Answer the question.” He took a step towards her and she stood her ground.   
“No, you answer my question.” Her voice shook slightly.   
“You know who I am, don’t you?" He shook his head angrily, letting the worst case out. “Have you been playing me?"  
“Oh my god.” The colour drained out of her face and she sat down abruptly at the table. “I should have worked it out. You’re not a contractor. You’re a spook." She stared up at him. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it.” She looked so shocked that he almost reached out to her. She was either one hell of an actress or Chuck had got it wrong. “And no, I’m not MI fucking 6.”   
“Then how do you know Cole Barker?!” He picked up the glass of Scotch with a shaking hand and downed it. It wasn't the threat that was killing him, it was the hope.   
“Jesus Christ!” She was suddenly angry. She stood up and faced him, “Is that what this is about? It was ten years ago, and Cole made it sound like just another fucking adrenaline rush! I passed on one piece of information and I nearly died as a result, so I worked out pretty quickly that I didn’t want to be anyone’s ‘asset’.” She was shaking with rage. “So now you explain where the hell this has come from and why you’ve been lying to me since the day we met, when you're telling me you're in love with me!"  
Casey stared at her furious face and felt all of the emotions of the past few weeks roar through him, bringing him back to one night in a hotel bar in DC.   
“It was supposed to be a goddamn one night stand!” He howled, hurling the empty glass across the room where it shattered against the wall. He dropped to his knees, suddenly exhausted, and buried his face in his hands. For the first time in years, he felt close to tears. _Holy fucking hell._ His chest heaved, and then she was there, pressing his face into her belly, holding his head, murmuring,  
“It’s okay, it’s okay.”


	8. Chapter 8

They sat opposite each other at the table. Casey felt wrung out, and Nic looked the same. He looked at her hand resting on the table and wanted to lean over and take it in his, but he couldn’t shake the instinct that she’d pull it away. This wasn’t a conversation he’d thought he’d ever have to have with anyone. This conversation was one of the reasons he’d avoided relationships for as long as he had. But then a woman walked into a bar one night…  
“What do you want to know?” He asked.   
“Everything. I think. Yes, everything.” She sighed and took a sip of Scotch. “Unless that’s going to make you think I’m playing you again.”  
He shook his head. “It won’t.”  
“Are you sure about that?” She met his eye. “Because if there’s something you need to do, someone you need to call – Jesus, if you need to call Cole - then do it. There’s no point having this conversation if you still think I’m… Whatever you thought I was.”  
He shook his head again. “I didn’t know what to think. It was just one photograph but…” _But you're trained to assume the worst. _  
“I don’t understand.” She looked slightly bewildered. “How did you suddenly see this, or remember it, or…?”   
“It was your ring. I recognised your ring. There was a surveillance photograph of you with Cole, when we pulled his file once.” He still had to protect Chuck and the intersect. “We couldn’t identify you, it stuck in my mind I guess.”  
She nodded slowly. “Iraq. Everyone watching everyone else. Guess it shouldn’t surprise me.” She took another sip of Scotch, and Casey did the same, feeling the slow burn as it ran down his dry throat.   
“So when did you pull my file?” She asked.   
“After DC. When I knew I wanted to see you again. It’s what we do. What I have to do.” He sighed.   
“I guess it would be.” She paused. “Who do you work for?”   
“The government.” He answered without hesitation.   
“Were you really a Marine?”  
He nodded. “Technically still am, kind of. That’s where I hold my rank.”  
“Which is?” Her eyes were fixed on her Scotch as she swirled the glass slowly.   
“Colonel.”  
“Colonel John Casey.” She looked up at him. “Is John Casey your real name?”  
“Yes. Has been for a long time. Since I went into special forces.”  
“What was your name before?”  
“I can’t tell you that, I’m sorry.” _A phrase she should get used to, if she's going to be with you. _  
She nodded and looked back down at her drink. “In Washington,” She said quietly, “Was that…” She trailed off.  
He looked at her hand again. _Stop being a pussy. _He reached out and wrapped his fingers around hers, and rather than pulling away, she held on tight, and met his eyes.  
“Was it you, in Washington? I mean, is that… Is this who you really are? I don’t mean the job, I mean you. This is you, right?”  
He winced slightly. “Yeah, this is me. All me. The only thing I lied about was my job.”  
“I’ve told you things I’ve never told anyone else.” Her voice was so soft he had to lean in to hear it. “I’ve never lied to you. I don’t know why, but I just… Right from the start, I...” She looked down at their joined hands.   
“I’ve never been with anyone the way I am with you.” He said it because it was true, even if she didn’t believe him. “It bothered me, lying to you. It bothered me a lot.”   
“I almost believe you.” He thought he saw the ghost of a smile.   
“You should believe me. I nearly-” He paused, but if they were going to do this, it was the only way. “I almost left, the second night in Washington. You made me feel things that I hadn’t felt in a long time, and to put my job first, like I always have done, I should have walked away.”  
“But you didn’t.”  
“No. I didn’t.” He took a deep breath. “I have a daughter. Her name is Alex, she's in college. I didn’t know about her until last year. Her mother and I were together before I joined special forces, and I never knew she was pregnant. I chose my country and my career over Kathleen, because I was young and ambitious, and I thought it was the right thing to do. That’s what I’ve done, ever since. And then I met you."   
She was silent for a moment, and he thought he saw that ghost of a smile again. “In context, that’s almost romantic.” She paused and took another sip of her Scotch. “John, I- I need a minute to think. Take this in." She stood up and gently pulled her hand from his. "I won't be long, I just need some air, some space for a minute. I’ll be back, I just… Give me a minute, okay?” She stepped out into the courtyard, closing the door behind her.   
He gave it a second, then went to the window and discreetly looked out. Nic was standing by the fountain, and Sarah was with her. They spoke for a few moments then Sarah went back into her apartment, only to emerge a few minutes later with something that she pressed into Nic's hand. Nic gave Sarah a quick hug, then started back towards Casey's apartment. He drew back from the window, but she didn't come in. He looked out again and she was gone. He opened the front door, but she was nowhere to be seen.   
He strode across the courtyard to bang on Chuck and Sarah's door, but Sarah came out before he got there.   
"I'm guessing she's not MI6?"  
"Asset. Once. Long time ago. And now she thinks I'm a liar and she's gone." He had to stop when he realised his voice was shaking. He took a breath. "Where did she go?"   
Sarah put a hand on his arm. "She said you had a fight and she needed space to think, so I gave her the keys to Carina's bike and directions to the beach."  
Casey slumped down on the edge of the fountain and Sarah sat beside him.   
“I told her the truth.” He said. “Alex, all of it. And she left.”   
"Look," Sarah started, "You and I both know from personal experience that when you've looked after yourself for a long time, it's really hard to let someone else in. I know that you’ve done that with her, and that’s… new for you, Casey, but her choosing to do that with you was a big deal for her too, and right now she's probably trying to work out if it was a mistake."  
"Maybe it was.” He rubbed a hand over his face.   
“I don’t think so. Seeing you together, I think you could just be perfect for each other.”  
He grunted, but Sarah’s words registered more than he wanted to admit. “I should go find her.”  
Sarah shook her head. “Give her time. She can take care of herself, right? If she isn't back by morning, go get her. But give her tonight." 

It was the longest night of Casey's life, including all the ones spent on watch in various scenarios over the years. He sat watching the sky, and as soon as it began to lighten, he grabbed his keys and drove the Vic as quickly as he safely could to the beach where Sarah had sent Nic.  
He found her sitting staring out to sea, sand covered and tear stained but calm. He sat down next to her and she actually smiled at him, dimples and all.  
“Your timing is impeccable. I was just starting to wish you were here.”  
"I’d like to say it was all me, but actually Sarah gave me some advice." He admitted.   
She smirked just a little. "I told you she was smart."  
"Can we start again?" He took her hand.  
"No." She squeezed his hand as she shook her head. "But we can carry on. I mean, I want to, if you do?"  
He could see that chink of vulnerability again, and his chest tightened. "I am in love with you." He said slowly and firmly, never taking his eyes from hers. "I don't think I could let you go even if you asked me to." _Even if that might actually be the best thing for you. _  
She moved her face closer to his and he leaned in and kissed her, slowly and softly, feeling her start to relax into his embrace, opening her mouth so that he could tease her lightly with his tongue. She moaned softly and he pulled her tightly against his body, ignoring the rasp of sand against his skin. He stroked her cheek with one hand while his tongue explored her mouth. Her hand crept under the back of his shirt, her breath catching as she slid her cold fingers over his warm skin.   
She broke their kiss and pressed her head into the crook of his neck instead. He held her for a long moment.  
“What did you read about me? In my file?” She asked softly.   
“I didn’t. I had someone check it, but I didn’t read it. I didn’t want to find out about you from a file.” _And I’ve never done that before in my life._ “So if you want me to know something, you’ll have to tell me.”  
She nodded slowly against his shoulder. “I know there are things you can’t tell me.” She said, “But will you tell me that you can’t tell me - if you see what I mean?”  
He nodded. “I can do that. I didn’t want - I don’t want - to lie to you.”  
She nodded again. “Okay then.” After a minute she added, "Can we go home now?" 

As they walked through the door of the apartment, Nic yawned, making that funny catlike face he remembered.  
"I'm so tired." She sounded almost back to normal.   
"Bed?" He asked.   
"Shower first." She shot him a wry smile. "I'm covered in sand. Again.” She stepped closer to him, reaching up to trace his jawline with her fingers. “You can join me if you like?”   
He pulled her close. “I wouldn’t ever say no to that.” He bent his head and kissed her, and she kissed him back deep and hard, her hands immediately moving down his back to grab the hem of his t-shirt. He let her pull it over his head, and returned the favour, running his hands over her bare back as he kissed her again, undoing her bra and letting it drop so that he could feel the softness of her breasts against his chest. She let out one of those soft moans that turned him on so much. Still kissing her, he unbuttoned her jeans, then dropped to his knees to pull them off, running his mouth across the front of her panties as he did so, blowing gently with his warm breath, making her sway and gasp. Her feet were bare and he wondered fleetingly what had happened to her shoes, but then as he came back to his feet she kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck as he quickly shed his remaining clothes.   
“Shower?” He asked, but she shook her head.  
“This first.” She wriggled out of her panties, and pulled him backwards towards the couch.   
He laid her down and pushed inside her slowly as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He kissed her and held her against him as he moved in and out of her. She tilted her hips to urge him deeper, her fingers running across his back. He could feel her starting to tremble beneath him, see the telltale flush spreading across her cheeks. He stroked her hair back from her face with one hand, letting his thumb stray over her lips before kissing her again as she cried out into his mouth and came, exploding around him with a force that sent him over the edge, losing himself inside her, kissing her fiercely as he let go.

“This will happen I guess,” She said softly as they lay still entwined on the couch. “We’ll fight, and then we’ll make up. Not like this, I hope never as bad as this again, but I guess it’s going to happen from time to time.”  
He turned his head to look at her. “I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never had a relationship like this. I was with Kathleen when we were so young, and then there was one other woman, but that turned out to be a lie. We were both spies and both lying to the other.”   
“No wonder you thought the worst then." She said, almost to herself. "Did you love her?”  
“I thought I did, until you.” He answered honestly.   
She took his hand and kissed the palm. “My only real relationship before you was with Cole, and it wasn’t real at all. He’s just very good at his job.”  
Casey pulled her closer. “Did you love him?”  
“I thought maybe I did, but it was all a play. I realised that pretty quickly. Not that it didn’t hurt. I thought I was so much tougher than I was.” She moved so they were facing each other, almost nose to nose. He kissed her lightly.   
“It would seem I have a type when it comes to dangerous men though…” She smirked.  
Casey growled and flipped her so he was above her and her hands were pinned over her head. “Don’t you ever compare me to-“  
“I wasn’t!” She was laughing. “Let me go!”   
He released her arms and she wrapped them around his neck instead, pulling his head down for another kiss. He kissed her back, then caught sight of the clock on the mantle.   
“It’s 8am.”  
“And we haven’t been to bed yet.” She yawned. “We should have that shower."

Nic was asleep in his arms, curled up against him with her head on his chest, relaxed and soft. Casey had been awake for a while, laying still and trying to draw out this moment for as long as possible, committing it to memory before she woke up. The weight of her body, the softness of her skin, the exact texture and feel of her hair against his neck; he’d been trained to remember detail, to record it for instant recall, but he’d never used those skills in this context before. _Never been this crazy about a woman before, either. _  
She stirred, cuddling closer without opening her eyes. “What time is it?”  
“Around 2." He kissed the top of her head.   
“I can’t believe how much I sleep when I’m with you.” She opened her eyes and blinked against the sunlight coming through the bedroom window. “When did you wake up?”  
“Not long ago.”  
She raised her head and shifted so that she was on her front, still half draped across his chest, but now within kissing distance. He brushed her lips with his.   
“What do you want to do with the rest of today?”  
“Eat! I’m so hungry. And then maybe go for a run, because with all the pie you’ve been feeding me, I’m going to be the size of a house if I don’t get some exercise. You’ll have to lift me out of this bed with a crane.”  
He sniggered at the thought. “I think we’re a way away from that.” He ran his hands appreciatively over her body, “Anyway, we’ve been working out.”  
“After a fashion.” She smirked and kissed his chest. A more serious look came over her face. “Are you going to have to work at some point? I mean, the weekend’s over…?”  
“It doesn’t really work like that. If I get an assignment then I have to go, but I’m going to ask for some time off.” It was suddenly straightforward. “Believe me when I say I’m owed some vacation, I’m pretty sure they can manage without my services for a while.”  
“How long a while?”  
He shrugged. “How long you here for?”  
“I was thinking more of an actual holiday. You know, like normal people. I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those.”  
“A vacation? What, like beach, sunlounger…?” He tried to look enthusiastic, but as appealing as the idea of Nic in a bikini might be, he couldn’t quite imagine the scenario.  
She shook her head. “I was thinking more somewhere cold. I can’t remember the last time I was properly cold. Do you ski?”  
“Sure.”  
“Want to teach me? We could get a cabin or something. One with a hot tub on the deck like in movies.”  
He kissed her. “Now that’s a vacation I could get on board with.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Oh my god! It’s like something straight out of a Bond movie! Call this a cabin?” Nic started to laugh as the car pulled to a halt.  
The building was constructed from heavy logs and thick panes of glass, and a whole lot bigger than ‘cabin’ would suggest. The front was almost entirely glass and had an incredible view across the snow covered Austrian mountains.  
“It’s only one bedroom.” Casey protested. “It just has a big living space. And after you paid for business class flights, I figured I owed us some decent accommodation.”  
“I only paid for business class because I thought we’d be able to fool around in the flat bed seats, so on that front it was a huge disappointment. Whereas this, this is amazing!” She clapped her hands like a little kid and kissed him.  
Once the driver had unloaded their bags and driven off, Nic ran straight inside to explore while Casey hefted the luggage into the open plan living space that made up the whole ground floor.  
“I love it!” Nic called down from upstairs, suddenly appearing over the mezzanine balcony. “You should see the size of the bed!”  
“There’s a hot tub on the deck.” He called back, sliding open the glass doors and looking at the sunken tub. “So it’s lucky you packed that very small bikini.”  
She ran back down the stairs and threw herself into his arms. “How do you know I packed a bikini?”  
“I’m a spy.” He whispered. It was amazing that he could joke about it. Five days after that horrible night, they had reached a comfortable place. She knew she couldn’t ask too many questions, but she also trusted that he would tell her the truth when he could, and to Casey that was as good as it got.  
“Well I know that you packed handcuffs. And I’m not a spy, I’m just observant.”  
Casey sputtered slightly, and she kissed him before continuing.  
“I can’t imagine what you’re planning to do with them though, unless you’re taking on a side assignment to assist the Austrian police?” Her expression was all innocence. She leaned in close and whispered in his ear, “Or maybe you’re going to cuff me to the bed and do wicked things to me?”  
“Thought about it.” He growled, catching her chin in his hand and kissing her.  
“Trust me, so have I.” She let him see the want in her eyes before she smirked. “As much as I want to test out that bed, I think we need to head into the resort and get me something to wear, because I am freezing!”  
He looked down at her. She was wearing jeans and boots and a leather jacket, and shivering slightly even indoors. “You really don’t own any cold weather clothing?”  
“Why do you think my bag is so small compared to yours, Mr Brings His Own Skis?”  
He kissed her, wrapping his arms tight around her. “We should test the bed first. I promise I’ll keep you warm…”

Two hours later, carrying a sizeable bag of clothes, and with Nic sporting her new ski jacket, they ducked into a bar off the main street of the resort for a drink. The sky was starting to darken, and they sat on a big leather couch by the fire and looked out of the mullioned windows at the snowy street outside.  
“It feels so far away.” Nic said thoughtfully.  
“From where?” Casey asked, taking her hand in his. He ran his thumb across the short unpainted nails, and then raised it to his mouth and kissed her palm. She folded her fingers around his.  
“Reality, maybe? I don’t know.” She smiled. “It must be the snow.”  
“Where do you call home, Nic?” He realised he hadn’t asked her before.  
“I don’t, really. For a long time I would have said London because that’s where I spent the most time, but I don’t actually live there. I don’t live anywhere – hotel rooms and friends’ apartments and deserts.” She paused. “Which is fine, ninety percent of the time, but sometimes…”  
He nodded. “LA is the longest I’ve been based anywhere in years, but it’s work. I didn’t choose it.” He stared into the fire for a moment. “Someone else has always chosen for me. That’s the military, I guess. Not that it ever bothered me.”  
“Home isn’t an easy concept for people like us, is it?” She squeezed his hand.  
“My mom used to tell me that home was people, not places.” _Where did that come from? _  
“I like that. What was she like, your mom?”  
“She was a good woman.” Casey felt himself closing up and knew he needed to avoid the instinct. “She had a tough life. My father wasn’t a great guy.”  
She snorted softly. “I know that one.”  
“You too, huh?” He turned to look at her.  
“I don’t know. Was your Dad a philandering drunk?”  
“Got that impression. He wasn’t around long enough to be sure.”  
“There you go then.” She inclined her head, her smile a little tight. “Is that the reason you joined the Marines?”  
“One of them. Is it why you ran away to the desert?”  
She laughed. “That’s not exactly what happened, but yeah, I guess my early life choices were pretty heavily influenced by getting the hell away from my parents.”  
“Your mom too?” He asked.  
“Yeah, my mum wasn’t much better than my dad. I pretty much left home at thirteen and never went back.”  
There was a moment of silence, and then Casey found himself speaking again.  
“I enlisted when I was sixteen. My mom was all for it, she knew it was the best choice for me.” He hesitated, and then forced himself to continue. “She died of cancer when I was overseas, my first tour. I didn’t know about it until I got home. That was how she wanted it. She knew it was important for me to focus on the mission.” He was staring into the fireplace, his jaw clenched tight.  
She nestled close to him and kissed his rigid cheek. “Thank you for telling me.” She said softly.  
He shook his head slightly. “It was a long time ago.” He forced himself to relax, trying to pull it back. “Not a big deal.” He drained his scotch and finally met her eyes, seeing the softness there and trying to ignore the tightness in his chest. “Another drink?”  
She smiled. “How about a double? We’re on holiday, right?”

By the time they were heading back to the cabin, Casey had recovered his equilibrium. He’d also started to think very seriously about exactly what he wanted to do to his woman once they were alone in that very large bed, and it seemed Nic had the same idea.  
“So,” She said, taking her boots off as he locked the front door behind them, “You have a very important decision to make.”  
“Oh yeah?” He bent to unlace his own boots.  
“Are we going to christen the hot tub tonight, or are you going to take me straight to bed?”  
“Trust me, after your first day of skiing tomorrow you are going to be in real need of that hot tub.”  
“Is that a vote for bed then?” She stepped close to him and reached up to kiss him. “Because it’s been far too long since you had your way with me, and I am not counting this afternoon’s quickie.”  
Casey grinned, growled and threw her over his shoulder, carrying her up the stairs as she laughed with outrage. 

He tipped her onto the bed and looked down at her sprawled form.  
“Take your clothes off.”  
“What are you going to do to me?” She smirked.  
“Well,” He said, keeping his tone deliberately conversational, “I thought I’d start by cuffing your hands to those convenient bars,” He gestured to the brass bedhead. Her breathing had started to speed up, but she nodded silently, her eyes fixed on his. “Then I thought I’d kiss my way down your body, bury my head between your legs and make you come with my tongue.”  
She whimpered slightly.  
“But of course, I can’t do any of that unless you take your clothes off.” He shook his head regretfully.  
She threw off her sweater and bra and wriggled out of her jeans, laying back on the bed in just her panties.  
“I think I’ll leave these on. I know how much you enjoy taking them off for me.”  
He growled and pulled his own sweater and shirt over his head.  
“Don’t play with me.” He cautioned, shucking off his pants and boxer shorts.  
“But I like playing with you,” She said, breaking out the full force of those dimples. He bent over her and took her mouth hungrily, sucking on her lower lip, one hand threading through her hair to cup the back of her head, holding her still while he explored her mouth with his tongue. He ran his other hand over her breast, squeezing and kneading as she moaned into his mouth.  
He pulled back, his hand still fisting in her hair.  
“Still funny?”  
She shook her head, her eyes holding that dark heat he remembered so well from DC.  
“Then lay back and do as you’re told.”  
As she settled back onto the pillows, he took the handcuffs from the bedside drawer where he’d stashed them earlier. Straddling her, he pulled her hands over her head and then threaded the cuffs around the central bar of the bedhead, snapping the bracelets around her wrists. She gasped slightly.  
“Do you trust me?” He looked down into her eyes and she nodded. He kissed her mouth, then moved down to her neck, her collarbones, her breasts, sucking each nipple into his mouth in turn, teasing with his tongue, feeling her arch into his touch. By the time he’d kissed his way down to her panties, they were soaked through with her arousal. She was pulling gently against the bedhead, the cuffs against the brass making a light metallic scraping noise. Her eyes met his, and he kept his gaze locked on her as he lowered his mouth to kiss her sex through the soaked material. She arched almost off the bed, groaning low in her throat. He closed his fist around the wet silk and ripped the panties away from her body, throwing them to the side and moving his mouth between her legs, tasting her, feeling her heat under his tongue as he pleasured her. It was his turn to groan at the feeling of her trembling on the edge of orgasm, and he closed his lips around her sweet spot and sucked hard, bringing her over the edge.  
She was still shaking when he grabbed her hips and flipped her onto her front, the handcuff chain clanging against the bedhead as it twisted over. He knelt between her legs and pulled her back onto him, burying himself to the hilt inside her with a single thrust.  
“Oh god!” She threw her head back and opened her legs wider, and he pulled almost all the way out and then thrust back in, feeling her legs shake as he held her hips still. He took a deep steadying breath, ran a hand down her spine, caressing the soft skin, and then pulled out and thrust back in again, and again, slow and deep, feasting on the feel of her muscles clenching around his cock, the sound of her moaning his name, the sight of her cuffed hands and glistening skin. He spread his fingers on her hips, holding her tight, stopping her from trying to impose her own rhythm, forcing his slow relentless pace.  
“Oh god, John, please…” She moaned.  
“Please what?” He murmured.  
“Faster… harder…please!” She gasped.  
He took a breath and let go, taking her hard and fast, holding her hips, feeling her starting to shake. He reached under her and brushed her sweet spot with his fingers, and she cried out and came hard around him, her muscles clenching. He bit down on his lip to stop himself from following her over the edge, wanting to ride her through it, but then he couldn’t hold on any longer and surrendered, gasping her name as he collapsed onto her, his mouth against her shoulder, tasting the sweat beading her skin. 

He uncuffed her and rubbed her chafed wrists as she lay sprawled across the bed, breathing hard.  
“That was the sexiest, filthiest…” She trailed off, and just smirked at him. He kissed her mouth.  
"Did I hurt you?"  
She shook her head. "No, you damn near killed me! I have never come that hard in my life!"  
He examined her wrists, wincing at the reddened skin. "Seriously, did I go too far?" His forehead creased into a frown, guilt nagging at him.  
She looked deep into his eyes and smoothed his brow with her thumb.  
"I loved it. You didn't go anywhere I didn't want you to go. I trust you, I like it when you take control."  
He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. "I knew that about you from the first time."  
"How?"  
"When I held your arms over your head, pinned you against the wall – the way you looked at me..."  
"That was the best I'd ever had - well, until the next time." She looked up at him. "It was there, right from the beginning, wasn't it?"  
"What was?"  
"This." She gestured to their entwined bodies. "Us."  
"From the moment you walked into that bar." He felt almost embarrassed saying something so corny, but it was true.


	10. Chapter 10

"How can someone so fit be this uncoordinated?" Casey asked in disbelief as he hauled Nic up off of the snow yet again.  
"I'm not!" She protested, brushing snow off her thankfully well-padded ski pants. "I've just got to find my rhythm!"   
He snorted. "It's not a dance class, it's skiing!"   
She swatted his arm and he went to catch her wrist but she was too quick for him.  
"See? Great reflexes!"   
"Yeah, until you have to coordinate your legs and arms!"   
She made a face and pushed off again, managing to ski at least twenty metres before falling on her ass again.   
He sniggered and skied over to pick her up. 

Four hours later they arrived back at the cabin. Nic had managed to ski a whole beginner run without falling over, and Casey's arm was tired from pulling her out of the snow. They left their skis and boots in the outside cupboard and stepped indoors to shed their ski wear.   
Casey was just hanging up his jacket when a foot caught him behind the knee and he was suddenly on his back on the floor. He leapt to his feet, spinning to see the attacker, and realised it was Nic, who was standing in what would have been a fighting stance if she hadn't been struggling not to bend over laughing.   
"That's for calling me uncoordinated!"  
He laughed in disbelief. "I can't believe you just did that!"  
"Well, you know, I got moves." She kicked off her ski pants, and he took the opportunity to lunge forward and grab her waist, but his hands closed on empty air as she spun away and landed a deliberately light roundhouse kick to his side.  
What the hell? "What, you wanna play?" He asked.  
She was still grinning but her fighting stance was strong this time. She inclined her head.  
“Probably not a good idea,” He cautioned. “I don’t want to hurt you by mistake.”  
“You won’t hurt me.” Her voice was confident.   
He hesitated for a moment, but he knew how to pull his punches, and it seemed she knew at least a few decent moves. He suddenly remembered her flipping him with her legs that first morning in LA. _You should have worked it out then, buddy._  
"Bring it on." He smirked.  
Seconds later he was on his back again, thanks to a hooked ankle and a straight arm throw that didn't belong together in any martial art he was aware of, but proved surprisingly effective.  
She'd made the mistake of not moving away fast enough though, and he brought her down with a leg sweep, but she recovered as she fell and caught herself on one hand, using the other to deliver a jab to his ribs. He leapt to his feet and landed a kick to her thigh as she sprang upright and caught him in the ribs again.   
They were both hitting lightly, sparring not fighting, but it was becoming clear that they were pretty well matched.   
In the end, Casey was able to use his superior strength to overpower her, but he was pretty sure she let him. He was above her, her arms pinned over her head and her legs locked in his. He felt her weight shift as if to throw him off, but then she grinned, relaxed, and three tapped the back of his hand with her fingers. He bent his head and kissed her hard, letting her hands go, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed close to him.   
"Mmm. That was fun." She breathed into his mouth. "But now I really need that hot tub."

Casey's mouth went dry when she emerged onto the deck in a tiny rust coloured bikini. Sure, he'd seen her in her underwear plenty of times, but there was something about a bikini, especially when you were in a hot tub in a James Bond style ski cabin, and the woman wearing it had accessorised with a giant pair of snow boots and a furry hat.   
"Wow. Come here."   
She stepped out of the snow boots, and lowered herself deliberately slowly into the hot tub, letting the warm water slide over her skin. She settled herself opposite him, dimples in full force.   
"I could so get used to this!"  
"So could I." He growled.  
She leaned forward and kissed him, and he was damned tempted to pull her onto his lap and have some fun, but there was a question he wanted answering first.  
"Where did you learn to fight?"  
She shrugged. "Oh, you know, around."  
"Bullshit." His tone visibly startled her, just a fraction. Good. "I trained with my sensai for years, and I'm only fractionally better than you. Those weren't self defence class moves you pulled out in there."   
She sighed. "Okay, you got me. It's kind of a long story though."   
"I like those. Well, when you're telling them." He reached into the locker beside the tub and pulled out two glasses and a bottle of Irish whiskey. She accepted a glass and a generous shot, but declined his offer of a Cuban with a grin. He lit up and sat back. "Now tell me."  
She knocked back her whiskey in one and held out her glass for a refill. “So I told you that my parents were pretty useless, right? They had one of those relationships that relies on conflict and passion and all of that, which was great for them I’m sure, but pretty terrible for a kid – not that they planned on ever having me, as my mother told me often enough.” She rolled her eyes. “So when I was thirteen, they sent me to boarding school in London, basically to get me out of the way. But of course I was so used to taking care of myself that being in that kind of structured environment wasn’t a great fit. You know that rebellious kid in school? The one who’s never in class and spends all their time smoking behind buildings and getting into trouble?”   
He nodded. “Yeah, I knew those kids.”   
“I bet you were a model student?” She smirked.  
“I played football.” He shrugged. “I guess I was always pretty disciplined. Focussed.”  
“Well I was the opposite of that.” She took another gulp of whiskey. “So anyway, there was this pub we would go to in a sketchy area, that didn’t care about ID, and one night when I’d just turned fifteen I was there on my own, had had a little too much to drink as usual, and some guy grabbed my arse. So I swore at him and smacked his hand away, and then he called me a little whore. Well I lost it, and I punched him out. I swear, one punch, he was down and out, jaw looked broken. First time I ever punched anyone, and I laid him out.” She smirked just a little. “So I’m standing there, this guy at my feet, his gang of friends take a step towards me, the landlord starts roaring at them, it’s all about to kick off, and suddenly this enormous mountain of a guy steps out from nowhere, throws me over his shoulder, and I’m kicking and screaming but his back was like solid rock, and he takes me out to the back yard and throws me on the ground, and I’m thinking I’m going to get a beating or something, but he’s laughing. This huge guy with arms almost the size of my waist, just standing there laughing and laughing. And he says, ‘My, my, kitten’ in this thick accent. So I’m still really angry, you know, hiked up on adrenaline, so I take a swing at him, which of course was really stupid because he catches my hand, twists my arm up behind my back without any effort at all. And he’s twisting pretty hard, and my shoulder’s screaming with pain, but I wasn’t going to show it, so I try kicking out at him instead, and he picks me up and throws me against the bins.” She lifted her right leg out of the water and showed him the scar on her thigh again. “Misplaced nail, remember I told you?”  
He nodded, absorbed in the story. He could just see her as a damaged, angry teenager, trying to take on someone three times her size.  
“So I get up again, and I’m bleeding and a little dazed, and my shoulder is killing me, but there was no way in hell I’m going to lie down and take it, so I came at him again, limping, bleeding everywhere, trying to punch him with my left hand because I couldn’t lift my right arm, and he stops laughing and looks at me really seriously, and he says ‘Maybe not kitten. Maybe tiger cub.’ And of course he dodges my punch, but then he ruffles my damn hair.” She snorted with laughter. “And he says ‘Come on cub, we go clean you up.’ And that was how I met Yuri.” She drained her whiskey and set the glass down on the side of the hot tub. She moved through the water to stand in front of him, and he slid his hands around her waist.   
"Russian?" He growled. She rolled her eyes. "Mmm hmm, but as I'm younger than you..." She smirked, "The Cold War was over by then."  
Casey grunted. "So who was he?”  
“My sensai, I guess. Is that enough?”   
He shook his head, and kissed her lightly, tasting whiskey and the unique taste that was just Nic, unable to resist briefly sliding his tongue into her mouth, caressing hers, but then pulling away before he gave in and hoisted her onto his lap.   
“I want to hear it all.” He sat back and puffed on his Cuban, and she refilled their glasses and settled herself back in her position opposite him.   
“Okay, so it turned out that he owned the boxing gym next to the pub. Well, I say boxing, but it was everything really – just guys who knew how to fight and wanted to train. He took me in there and cleaned up my leg – he actually stitched it, four stitches, which fucking hurt I can tell you. You ever been stitched without anaesthetic?”  
He nodded. “Few times.”  
She made a face. “Of course you have. Well I gritted my teeth and there was no way I was going to cry, and while he was doing it Yuri started telling me about when he had to stitch his own leg up once-” She paused. “I bet you’ve done that too, haven’t you?”  
Casey smirked and nodded. She sighed.  
“You tough men. Anyway, he didn’t tell me a lot, but he did tell me that he’d been in the military, and then he was a cage fighter, and now he trained people. And after he’d fixed my leg and iced my shoulder, he asked me what I was doing drinking alone in a pub like that, like he was my dad or something.” She sipped her whiskey, a half smile on her face. “I honestly think it was the first time anyone ever seemed to give a shit about my safety. So I fell in love with him, right there. Not like that, I mean, more like… Well, yeah, a dad I suppose. And then he couldn’t get rid of me.”   
Casey reached over and poured more whiskey into her glass, willing her to continue.  
“He took my under his wing, I guess. Taught me to fight, told the guys at the club about me punching that dickhead out, so they started to teach me stuff too, bits and pieces of everything – boxing, aikido, judo, kickboxing, and good old dirty street fighting – but I got pretty good. Yuri made me go to school though. He told me he wouldn’t let me hang out at the club unless I brought him my reports to show I was passing. It was a good time, a really good time.” She paused. “For the first time in my life, I felt like I had a family.” Her voice cracked slightly.   
He held out his arms and she came into them.   
“That’s what I found in the Corps.” He said, surprising himself by volunteering something personal again. “It’s the kind of family people like us need.”  
She nodded against his chest. He settled her next to him, her legs resting on his lap, and fed her a sip of whiskey from his mouth, which made her laugh and kiss him softly.   
“What happened next?” He asked.   
“I turned sixteen, passed my exams – well most of them – and then school was over. And my parents sent me a plane ticket back to the States. And I showed Yuri and he tore it up for me.” She smiled. “He cleared out one of the upstairs rooms at the club and turned it into my bedroom. And that was that. Home. A boxing club filled with rough, sweaty men.” She smirked. “And people wonder why I’m so comfortable around the military.”   
Casey couldn’t help laughing. “So you lived with him for how long?”  
“I never really stopped, though I suppose once I started travelling a lot I was never really there. I have no idea where I would be now if it wasn’t for him.”  
“Where is he now?”  
“He died. I was twenty five. Broke my heart.” She knocked back the rest of her whiskey. “Only man I ever loved-” She paused. “Well, until now, I guess.”   
Their eyes met, and Casey reached out and touched her face. A tear ran down her cheek and he caught it with his thumb.   
She half smiled. “You said to me – that morning after the beach – that you didn’t know how to do this. Well I don’t have a fucking clue either. And it scares me. Is that stupid?”  
He shook his head, “I’m fucking terrified.”  
And then, somehow, they both started to laugh. 

The days settled into a comfortable pattern. They’d ski in the mornings, grab lunch at one of the restaurants on the piste, then fit in a couple more hours skiing in the afternoon before a few drinks at their favourite bar. They cooked dinner together in the evenings, they had mind blowing sex at any time of day, and they talked. In fact, Casey had never talked so much in his life. Stories, opinions, theories… They’d spent a whole afternoon getting drunk and trading the most off colour jokes they knew, and the revelation that Nic had the filthiest mouth he’d ever heard on a woman only made him want her more.   
On the morning of their last day, they skied for a couple of hours, but when Nic headed back towards the chair lift he shook his head.  
“I’ve got an errand to run. And actually, so do you.”  
She raised her eyebrow questioningly.   
“I’m taking you out for dinner tonight, and you need to find something suitably spectacular to wear, because it is five star, and I will want to tear your dress off afterwards.”  
“Oh really?” She smirked. “Who says I’ll be wearing a dress? Maybe I’ll get myself a lady tux.”  
“You can get yourself anything you like.” He kissed her. “But the less fabric the better as far as I’m concerned.”  
“Pervert.”  
“Takes one to know one.” He ran a hand lightly over her ass, grabbing one more kiss as he did so. 

It was the first time Nic had ever shut Casey out of the bedroom. She’d told him in no uncertain terms that he could change downstairs, because the bedroom was hers.   
“If you want me to look five star appropriate, that’s the price you pay.”  
It had been amusing at the time, but now that he was pacing about downstairs, his dinner suit feeling just a little more snug than the last time he’d worn it thanks to the muscle boosting effects of skiing and athletic sex, he was starting to feel nervous. He checked his pocket for the nth time, and was on the verge of pouring himself a large scotch when he heard movement on the mezzanine level above him, and Nic clearing her throat theatrically. He turned to see her at the top of the staircase and almost fell over at the sight.  
She was wearing a knee-length midnight blue silk dress that clung lightly to every curve, completely simple and unadorned, her hair loose and her eyes enhanced with some kind of smoky shadow. On her feet were sky high silver heels, and she was holding a matching silver leather clutch.   
“Will I do?” She was grinning down at him, enjoying his reaction. He swallowed hard, trying to recover his ability to speak.  
“Stunning.”  
“Why thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.” She descended the stairs carefully. “”Fucking heels.” He heard her mutter under her breath and he snorted with laughter. Her eyes met his, full of mirth, and the spell was broken.   
He kissed her, resting his hands on her waist. “Car’s outside.”

The restaurant, situated in the resort’s highly exclusive five star hotel, was small and cosy, and their table was set in an alcove by a very well insulated window so that they could see out to the moonlit mountains.   
“This is incredible.” Nic acknowledged as she sipped a glass of ink dark red wine.   
He nodded. “Of the two views on offer, I prefer you though.”  
She smiled and shook her head. “That was almost smooth there, John. I think the whole James Bond vibe is rubbing off on you.”   
“Must be the outfit.” He sipped his own wine, gazing at her, his hand reaching towards his pocket. But the waiter appeared with a tray of amuse-bouches.  
In fact, spectacular as the restaurant was, however delicious the food and wonderful the wine, it proved a miscalculation in terms of the opportunity for the conversation he wanted to have. Every time he opened his mouth to broach the subject, another damned waiter appeared for some reason or other. By the time they had finished dessert, he was on the verge of strangling the next smiling idiot who approached the table.   
Nic laid down her fork and sighed with contentment. “That was amazing.” She said with a smile, “But will it spoil your plans if I suggest we get out of here?”  
“Everything okay?”  
“Everything’s fine. Great, actually, I just want to spend some time alone on our last night, and if I’m a hundred percent honest, I’d really like to take these heels off. You know, before you rip my dress off.”  
He reached for her hand across the table. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

Nic kicked her heels off with obvious relief the minute they closed the cabin door behind them.   
“Those things are instruments of torture. I know they’re hot, but seriously. Even sitting down they were killing me!” She flopped onto the huge leather sofa and massaged her foot. Casey poured them both a scotch, and came and sat next to her, handing her a drink and pulling her feet into his lap.   
“I can’t believe this is our last night,” She said softly. “In the morning we’ll have to turn our phones back on and fly out of here, and it will be over.”  
“I know.” He squeezed her feet. “I don’t want it to end either.”  
“I’m not sure-” She stopped.   
“What?” He asked.  
“I don’t know if I can go back to how things were before. Before this I mean, before us.” She looked at him, her mouth trembling slightly. “I don’t mean work, I love my work, I just mean, I feel like I might want a place to come home to now. Or, a person…” She trailed off, then quickly added. “You, I mean you, just in case that wasn’t-”  
He stopped her with a kiss.   
“It’s okay, I know.” He felt in his pocket again, and this time he didn’t hesitate. He knew what he wanted to say, and she’d already said most of it for him.   
“I don’t want to go back to the way things were before either. I want to be your home, for us to be each other’s home, wherever we might be in the world. You were right what you said when Ellie called you my girlfriend – that isn’t a definition that really applies to us. I don’t know how we do define ourselves, but I want to give you this.”   
He drew the small leather box out of his pocket, opening the lid to show the ring inside. “It’s not a question, it’s just a gift.”  
She leant forward, her eyes wide, and lifted the ring from the box. It was a gold signet ring with an intricate design of an anchor, a globe and an eagle etched on it.   
“My mom gave it to me when I joined the Marines. It’s the symbol for the Corps.” She nodded in recognition as he continued. “It’s pretty much the only thing I kept when I joined special ops. It’s sat in one uniform pocket or another for years.”  
She looked up at him, her eyes swimming with tears.   
“I took it to the jewellers today, had them resize it. It should fit.” He gently took the ring from her and slid it onto the ring finger of her left hand. The tears spilled over and she buried her face in her hands. He suddenly felt worried. What if he’d misjudged it? But she wiped her eyes and smiled at him, caressing the ring with her fingers.  
“Are you sure? I mean, this must be precious to you.”  
“You’re precious to me. That’s why I want you to have it. I want us to be together." He shrugged. "That's it."  
She launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. He held her tightly.  
“I love you.” Her voice was muffled against his shirt.  
He kissed the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her. She shifted slightly in his lap, trying to straddle him, but her dress was too tight. She raised her head and looked him in the eye, her mouth quirking into a smile.   
“Will you unzip this damned dress please?”  
He kissed her as he slid the zipper down with one hand, caressing the exposed skin of her back with the other. Her arms were still around his neck, and he tasted the remnants of her tears on her lips. He undid her bra and slid his hand inside to caress her breast, gently tugging her nipple, making her moan softly.   
She slid one hand down to his chest, undoing the buttons of his shirt. He had already loosened his tie, and she threw it over her shoulder, pushing his shirt open, bending to kiss his chest. As she tried to pull his shirt off, however, she was prevented by his cufflinks. At the same time, he was struggling with the logistics of removing dress and bra when the two seemed to be somehow interlinked. He felt a laugh building in his chest, and tried desperately to suppress it. Surely this wasn’t the moment. But then he caught her eye and saw her lips pressed tightly together, and they both burst out laughing.   
He wasn’t sure if it was the release of tension, happiness, or just them, but he was howling with laughter and so was she. His shirt was caught around his wrists, her dress and bra were hanging awkwardly from one shoulder, and they were both laughing so hard they were doubled over.   
“Oh god,” She gasped. “We are so not five star people!” She stood up and managed to wriggle the dress down, dropping it on the floor along with her bra and panties.  
Casey had managed to get his cufflinks undone and shirt off, and he followed suit and shed the rest of his clothes as well. Still hiccupping slightly with laughter, she pushed him back onto the couch and straddled him.   
“Finally!”  
She caught his face between her hands and kissed him deeply, quelling their laughter. He caressed her breasts, her ass, enjoying the feeling of her gently rocking against him as he hardened between her legs and felt her growing wetness coating him.   
He lifted her gently and tilted her hips, slowly sliding into her as she moaned against his mouth. She moved slowly on him, opening up around him, pressing her breasts against his chest as they continued to kiss. In unspoken agreement they took it slowly, drawing it out, holding each other close, lips locked together. Casey had a strange sense of time being suspended, the world reduced to the space occupied by their joined bodies. He could feel the cool metal band of his ring on her finger pressed against his cheek.   
He felt her start to tremble, and could tell she was trying to hold off, trying to prolong it further. He slid a hand between their bodies and brushed her sweet spot with his thumb.   
“It’s okay,” He murmured raggedly against her mouth. “It’s okay.”  
She threw her head back, letting go, coming hard around him, and he followed her over the edge, gasping with the release. He kissed her throat, her collarbones, letting the tremors subside, feeling the world rushing back in.   
He looked into her velvety eyes and said the very two words he had absolutely planned not to.  
“Marry me.”


	11. Chapter 11

“What?” Nic looked shocked, her eyes wide.   
“Marry me.” Casey said it again, because the words felt unexpectedly good in his mouth.  
She climbed off his lap and reached for his shirt, pulling it on over her naked body. She walked away from him, staring out of the glass wall at the snowy mountains. He felt a shiver of cold run through him, and it had nothing to do with losing her warm body from his lap.   
“Nic, say something.” He pulled on his boxers and came to stand behind her. He put a hand on her shoulder and felt the tension there. _You’ve fucked up somewhere here, Colonel. _  
“I really wasn’t expecting that.” She turned to face him and took a deep breath before continuing. “I love you, I’m in love with you, I have never felt like this about anyone else. You know that. You can have me, you’ve got me, I’m yours. But trust me John, I am not the marrying kind.”  
He opened his mouth to reply, then realised he had no idea what to say.   
“I’m never going to be a ‘wife’,” She continued, “I told you when we first met, I’m not the type to be there in the kitchen, doing laundry and waiting for you to come home from wherever you are in the world. I’m going to be out there in the world myself, doing-”  
“And I would never ask you to, want you to!” He interrupted. “I asked you to marry me, not to become someone else. I meant everything I said before – you, me, together, that’s it.”  
She shook her head slightly. “That’s what I want too. Just that.”  
“Then…?” He wrapped his arms around her and she leant against his chest, but her body was still tense.   
“I’m not exactly saying no,” She said, looking up at him. “But can you understand why I won’t say yes?”  
He nodded slowly. “I think so. Yeah.” But even as he said it, he wasn’t sure it was true. He pulled her tighter into his arms and felt her slowly start to relax, and they stood entwined, looking out at the view, for a long time without speaking.

Casey woke before her, and the first thing he saw was his ring on her hand resting on his chest. Nic’s head was snuggled into his shoulder, her body pressed close against his side. She was here, she was his, so that had to be enough, didn’t it?   
He glanced at the clock and gently stroked her face to wake her up.  
“Come on beautiful, we’ve got packing to do.”  
She groaned and buried her face in his shoulder. He chuckled softly and tickled her waist.   
“Come on, time to wake up.”  
"Nurrrrgh." She swatted at him, her eyes still closed, and missed.   
"We have a flight to catch, wish we didn't, but we do. So up and at 'em soldier."  
She finally blinked her eyes open. "I should check my phone."   
She sat up and reached into the bedside drawer for her phone, then kissed him while she waited for it to power up.   
"Morning." He kissed her back, his hand in her tangled hair.   
"Mmmm." She smiled. "Sure you don't want to stay here for another year or two?"   
"We'd be broke inside a month." He slid out of bed and went to fetch his own cell phone. He knew what to expect and wasn't surprised by messages from Chuck, Sarah and General Beckman, and a sweet one from Alex. He allowed himself a little fantasy about her and Nic meeting, which was probably nowhere close to reality but made him smile.  
Nic was looking out the window, her phone to her ear and a smile on her face that was growing by the moment. She hung up and turned to him.   
"How do you feel about a small detour?" 

If Austria had been five star luxury, then this had to be the polar opposite, Casey thought as their taxi drove along a street of fast food restaurants and discount stores, litter strewn and all but deserted. He'd been to London a handful of times before, but this was so out of town he wasn't sure they were technically still in London at all. The length of the underground train journey certainly suggested otherwise.  
Nic was directing the driver, and a few minutes later they pulled up outside a somewhat rough looking pub.   
"We're here."   
She paid the cab driver, and Casey lifted their bags onto the sidewalk. He looked around with an element of disbelief.  
"This is where you live?"   
"I don't live anywhere, you know that, but this is as close as it gets. Come on."  
She led him down the alleyway at the side of the pub and around to the back of the building next door. The back wall boasted a garage style rolling door. She reached up and felt around the side of the doorframe and extracted a small key, using it to unlock the padlock at the bottom of the metal, and pushed the door up and away, revealing a large dusty open space that must have been the whole ground floor of the building. In the centre was a boxing ring, the ropes sagging. Otherwise it was empty.  
"Home sweet home." She said with a heavy dose of sarcasm.  
He stood in the doorway as she strode across to a side door and unlocked it with a key from her pocket.  
"Yuri's place?" He realised he was seeing somewhere deeply personal to her.   
"It was. Mine now. Come on." There was a briskness in her tone, and he had a feeling it was masking something else.   
He followed her up the staircase behind the side door, which led to a corridor running the length of the upper floor. She gestured to the first door.  
"Locker room. Still stinks, ten years on."  
She moved down the corridor and unlocked another door, beckoning him through into a square room furnished with a sagging couch, and a kitchenette in one corner. There were two other rooms leading off it, their doors open, and the one Nic led him to was full of plastic storage boxes, neatly labelled and organised.   
"I won't be long, I just need to get a basic kit together for filming." She started removing lids from boxes.   
"You keep all your gear here?" He raised an eyebrow.  
"Yep. Never been burgled, no-one would imagine it's here." She was assembling equipment quickly into a large black hold all. "Take a look around if you like." She gestured vaguely. There was an awkwardness to her that he hadn’t seen before.   
Casey stepped back into the living area and through the other open door, finding a mattress on the floor, and a tiny ensuite bathroom.   
"Do you stay here?" He called out.  
"Not since I could afford hotels!” She called back.   
He walked back through to the other room and found her rooting through a built in wardrobe, pulling out a few items. He watched from behind as she pulled her sweater off and selected a t-shirt instead. Before she could put it on, he gave in to temptation and stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She stiffened slightly.  
“Not here.” She murmured. She turned to face him as his hands fell back to his sides. “This place is too full of ghosts.” She pulled the t-shirt over her head.   
“It must be strange.” He looked around the room again, this time seeing the marks on the walls where posters must have hung, peeling stickers still visible inside the wardrobe door. “This was your room?”  
She nodded. “Reminds me where I started from I guess.” She sighed and threw the clothes she’d selected on top of the camera equipment in the hold all and then picked up the bag.  
“Come on, let’s get out of here.”

He followed her back down the stairs and waited while she locked up, looking round the empty gym and trying to imagine her here, sparring, learning, growing up.   
“Cub!” A voice bellowed from behind them.   
Casey turned to see a large man in his sixties standing in the yard, a length of pipe held nonchalantly in one hand, and a beaming grin on his face. To Casey’s surprise, Nic ran forward and threw herself into the arms of the bulky stranger. He dropped the pipe, squeezed her tight and kissed the top of her head.   
“How’s my girl? Doing alright are ya?” He had the thickest cockney accent Casey had ever heard outside of a movie.   
“Good, I’m good.” He heard her say.   
“And who's this?” The man asked, nodding towards Casey. Nic disengaged herself from his hug and stepped back as he held his hand out in Casey’s direction. “I’m Mike. I’m Cub’s uncle. That’s my pub.” He gestured with his head towards the neighbouring building.  
Uncle? “Casey.” He shook Mike’s hand, both of them sizing each other up.  
“Nice to meet ya. You working with Cub?”  
Nic interrupted before Casey could answer. “No, he’s my… He’s… We’re…” She was struggling, and Casey noted she was blushing as well.   
“Hang on, you telling me you’re finally bringing a boy home?” Mike’s face creased into a grin. “Well who woulda thought it?” He turned to Casey. “You should be bleeding honoured mate. Now yous two coming for a drink or what?”  
The pub was quiet, only a couple of older men nursing pints at a table in the corner. Casey noticed military memorabilia on the walls, and Mike noticed him noticing.   
“Twenty years in the forces, mate. You too, by the looks of it?”  
“Yes sir, United States Marine Corps.” He felt strangely nervous, and he realised it was because he wanted this guy to like him. If this was the equivalent of Nic’s family, he wanted approval. He suddenly felt like an eighteen year old with his first girlfriend.   
“Well at ease soldier, you’re amongst friends here. What ya drinking? Whiskey?” Mike slammed three glasses down onto the bar and poured out generous measures without waiting for an answer.   
“Where’s Nic?” Casey realised she hadn’t followed them in.  
“Putting her stuff in the car I would think. It’s in my garage out back. Where you off to then?”   
“Wales. She’s got a couple of days filming follow up for her last project. Then back to the States.” Casey sipped his whiskey.   
“You two living together?” Mike’s gaze was shrewd.   
“Kind of.” He replied carefully. “I mean, she’s been staying with me in LA in between trips.” He decided not to elaborate too much until Nic was here.   
“She’s a good girl, our Cub.” Mike said slowly. “And I’m sure you’re a decent bloke. But don’t you ever think that just cos Yuri ain’t around no more, she hasn’t got family here who’ll protect her. You understand what I’m saying?”  
Casey nodded. “Yes, sir, I do.”   
Mike looked at him for a minute, then turned and grabbed a photo from the wall behind him. It was covered with faded snapshots of people in the pub over the years.   
“Here you are, there she is there, look.”   
Casey took the photo and stared at the girl in the picture. It was definitely Nic, probably aged around eighteen. She was standing grinning between a younger version of Mike and a huge man with a shaved head and a gold tooth.   
“That’s her eighteenth birthday. Me and Yuri and the boys bought her a car. Same car she’s packing up right now. You shoulda seen her face, bless her.”  
He reached behind him again and took down another photo. “And here, that’s her the last time she come back before Yuri died.”  
It was obvious Nic hadn’t known the photo was being taken. It caught her in profile, her mouth smiling but her eyes sad. She looked tired.   
“Not a good time, that.” Mike said, smoothing the photo and pinning it back on the wall. “She’d had some kinda trouble out in Iraq, then she come back and found out Yuri was on his way out.” His eyes met Casey’s. “She probably don’t tell you much, she ain’t that kinda girl, but if she’s brought you here, she must think a lot of ya.”  
“He already knows that, Mike.” Nic came through a door behind Mike, and walked around the bar to join Casey. She picked up her glass of whiskey in her left hand, and Mike caught sight of the ring.   
“So I see,” He reached out and tapped it and Nic half jumped, as though she’d forgotten. “Never thought I’d live to see that happen.”  
“It’s not-” Casey started, but Nic was ahead of him.  
“Leave it out, Mike. You always told me I’d find a nice boy in the end.” She smirked at him.   
“Well, better than you hanging around us old reprobates, eh? I’d love to see Yuri’s face right now.” He turned to Casey. “He’d probably call you into that ring, make sure you was worthy of his little girl. Nah, I’m only kidding.” He reached over and patted Nic’s hand. “He’d be made up for ya, you know that. Military man and all.”  
Mike splashed more whiskey into his own glass and gestured towards theirs, but Nic shook her head.   
“We’ve got to drive down to Wales.”  
“What, now? Why don’t ya stay here tonight and go tomorrow?”  
“I would if I could, you know that.” Nic reached out and grabbed Mike’s hand. “But I’m filming all day tomorrow, we’ve got to get there tonight.”  
“Alright darlin’. I know it’s hard for ya coming back here and all.” He squeezed her hand. “Glad you let me meet your fella though.”   
Nic gave him a look. “Did you threaten to kill him if he hurts me?”  
“Nah! Didn’t a say a word! Did I, Casey?” Strangely, his slight smirk reminded Casey of Nic’s.  
“Not a word.” He replied, straight faced, and Mike winked at him.  
Casey finished his drink and picked up their bags from the vacation, and Nic led the way through to the garage with Mike following behind. A battered Landrover was parked beside a blue van and a glossy Jaguar, and Nic opened the back for Casey to throw their bags in beside the camera equipment she’d already loaded. When he shut the door and turned back around, he found Nic in Mike’s arms again, and he was whispering in her ear. She wiped her eyes and smiled.   
Mike held out his hand to Casey and they shook again. “You take care of her right?” His stare was serious and Casey nodded. “Alright then, I’ll see ya soon Cub. You too, soldier.” 

Nic was silent for the length of time it took them to reach the motorway. A couple of times she opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it again. Casey bided his time.   
“I’m sorry.” She said finally. “I wasn’t expecting it to be that hard.”  
“What do you mean?” He reached over and squeezed her knee.   
“I keep that part of my life in a box. I love Mike, and there are other guys you would have met if we’d stayed, but they’re…” She shook her head. “You’re the only person I’ve talked to about Yuri, and the club, and that part of my life who wasn’t in it. That’s a strange thing in itself. Taking you there… I don’t know.” She shook her head again.  
“I’m glad I got to see it. I’m glad you told me about it.”  
She half smiled. “So am I, really. It’s just hard. Especially after last night.”  
“What do you mean?” He asked again, keeping his tone deliberately neutral.   
“What you asked me. What I said. How you must feel.”  
He started to speak but she interrupted him. “Don’t. I know enough about you to know how much that question must have cost you.”   
He didn’t want to lie, so he said nothing.   
“This is still all so new.” She said softly. “I’ve spent the best part of twenty years making sure I only ever had to look after myself, that I didn’t rely on anyone else.”  
He couldn’t help a wry smile. “That makes two of us.”  
“And then this happened.” She turned to look at him briefly before directing her gaze back to the road. “And the scariest thing about it is just how much I like it. It’s not a struggle to tell you things, I want to tell you things. Honestly, I wanted Mike to meet you. I wanted to show off that I have you in my life.”  
“I feel the same.” He agreed. “I keep thinking what it’ll be like when I can introduce you to Alex. I liked seeing you with Chuck and Sarah, and Ellie. I was proud to be with you.” He glanced over at her and saw her smile.   
"I was so nervous. I wanted them to think I was good enough for you.”  
“Hah!” He laughed. “I think me being good enough for Mike is a much scarier challenge than you being good enough for my neighbours!”  
She laughed. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure he could still give you a decent fight. Well, him and the other ten or so of them.”   
She glanced over at him again, and then changed lanes and flipped the indicator to leave the motorway.   
“Let’s stop for a coffee.”

They pulled into a service station and fought their way past what seemed to be hordes of people. It was clear they were never going to get a seat in the café area, so they picked up takeaway coffees and walked back to the Landrover. Nic curled herself sideways into the driver’s seat so she could look at him while they talked.   
“Last night… I meant it when I said I wasn’t saying no. I need you to know that.”  
“I do.” He took her hand, then realised what he’d said and snorted with laughter. She smirked back. “And I meant what I said too – I don’t want anything to change, I didn’t ask you because I want a ‘wife’, I want you.”   
There was a moment of silence.  
“What’s your real name?” She asked suddenly.   
“John Casey.” He replied firmly.   
“You know what I mean.”  
He sighed. “Why does it matter?”  
“The same reason that it mattered to you who I was growing up. About me and Yuri. And at some point you’ll want to know how I went from being a gym rat to being a filmmaker, and I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you the entire history of me, as and when you want to know pieces, because it matters to you.”  
He nodded, realising that she was exactly right.  
“So that works the other way too,” She continued. “You told me about leaving Kathleen for special ops, and about your mom, so you do understand why I would want to know things. I’m not trying to trick you, I’m trying to know you better.”  
He squeezed her hand. “Alex Coburn. My name was Alex Coburn.”  
She nodded. “Alex was named after you?”  
Casey looked down for a second. “Yeah." _And we can discuss that clusterfuck another time. _  
“If we got married-”   
His head jerked up in surprise.   
“I’m saying IF we got married, are you envisaging a whole white wedding thing?” Her expression was unreadable.  
Casey had a flashback to organising Ellie’s impromptu beach wedding, and couldn’t help shuddering. “I’d do it for you.” He answered.  
She snorted with laughter. “I’d rather you didn’t! Couldn’t we just go to City Hall or something? Isn't that the American way?"   
He looked at her, really looked at her. The messy hair, the narrow dark eyes, that full mouth that he couldn’t stop kissing, the long legs and the curves and the confidence and the scrappiness and the vulnerability. _The woman I love._  
“Sweetheart, if you want to marry me, I will marry you any damn where and any damn how you like.”  
She looked thoughtful, then smirked a little. “Vegas? With an Elvis impersonator officiating?”  
He shrugged. “I’m serious. I just want to marry you. I don’t care about the details.”   
She nodded slowly. “Okay. Vegas, no fuss, no white dress and definitely no gift register.”  
Casey swallowed. “Nic, are you-”  
The corners of her mouth quirked into just a hint of a smile. “Yes. I’m saying yes.”  
He lunged forward and kissed her, pulling her awkwardly into his arms, the gear stick in between them. “Now. I want you now.” He growled, pushing his tongue into her mouth and kissing her deep and hard. She kissed him back with equal force, twisting her head to the side to give him greater access.   
“Hotel,” She panted. “Right there.” She gestured over her shoulder at the service station motel. 

Never had a hotel room been secured so quickly and with so few words. Casey gripped Nic’s hand so tightly as they waited for the receptionist to process the credit card that she winced and he had to shoot her a grimace of apology. It was lucky they had to share the lift with another couple, or he might have ended up taking her there and then.   
As it was, the second they made it through the door of the room he started pulling her clothes off. She responded with equal force, scattering buttons from his shirt, biting his lip, grinding herself against him. When they were finally naked he lifted her and slammed her against the wall, her legs wrapping around his waist, and pushed into her. She gasped, kissing him, moving on him, as he pinned her against the wall with his chest. It was fast and frantic and over too quickly, but in the moment it was perfect.   
He supported her in his arms as she lowered her legs from around his waist and slid back to the ground.   
“Wow,” She breathed. “Maybe I should agree to things more often.”  
He growled and tipped her onto the bed, dropping onto his back beside her. She ran a hand across his chest, tracing patterns in the dark hair.   
“How long do we have to stay in this room before we can leave without them thinking we’re crazy?”  
“Oh, I’m not done with you yet.” He rolled onto his side and cupped his hand around her breast. “That was just the appetiser.” He lowered his head and sucked her nipple into his mouth, teasing her with his tongue. She moaned softly.   
He ran his hands over her skin, ghosting lightly, making her shiver. He slid his fingers between her legs, feeling for her sweet spot, circling it with his thumb, sliding two fingers inside her, kissing and tonguing her breasts as she moaned and whimpered. She was bucking against him, gasping, and begging him softly.  
“Please, please…”  
“Please what?” He kissed her trembling mouth.  
“Please make me come, please…”  
He twisted his fingers to crook inside her, stroking her, and she exploded, riding his hand, coming hard on his fingers, gasping his name.   
The sight and sound of her had made him hard again, and he rolled her onto her back and slid inside her, kissing her deeply as she clung to him, still riding the end of her orgasm.   
“I love you,” He murmured in her ear as he moved slowly in and out of her, holding her close. She wrapped her arms and legs tightly around him, rocking against him.   
“I love you.” She gasped.  
He felt her come again, her muscles fluttering around him, and let go gently inside her, groaning softly.   
He rolled slowly onto his side, bringing her with him, still wrapped around him. He nudged her mouth with his, kissing her gently as her eyes slowly opened.   
“Mmmm.” She smiled. “That was definitely worth the rest stop.”  
He snorted with laughter and kissed her again. “Telling me.”  
“Are we safe to get back in the car now, do you think? Can we make it to Wales before you jump me again?” Her eyes were sparkling with laughter, but there was a softness there too.   
“I’ll do my best.” He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes for a moment, smiling.


	12. Chapter 12

“Where exactly are we going?” Casey asked, as Nic eased the Landrover around another tight bend in the very narrow road, deep in the Welsh countryside.   
She grimaced slightly. “Assuming this road doesn’t get any narrower, we are going to the pub nearest the enduro course, because we’re staying with Matt and he said the pub was easier to find than his house, and also because it’s where everyone will be. I warn you though, they're a rowdy bunch sober in a desert, let alone drunk in a pub."   
His mouth quirked into a smile. "You remember I'm a marine, right? Drunk and rowdy I can handle."  
"You say that now..." 

Two hours later, Casey was starting to think that these guys could probably out-drink and out-rowdy even his Marine buddies, but he was also seriously enjoying himself. This kind of camaraderie hadn’t been a feature of his life for the last few years, especially not while stationed in Burbank, and he hadn’t realised how much he’d missed it. There had to be almost a hundred people in the small pub, all of whom seemed to know each other, many of them riding the next day judging by the number of dirt bikes parked out the back, and Nic was one of only three women in the place; not that it seemed to bother her in the slightest.   
He also hadn’t realised quite how much he’d drunk, until he found himself having a deep and meaningful conversation with Nic’s friend Matt, who seemed to be the only sober person in the place.   
"Promised the missus,” He’d explained in deep Welsh tones. “Haven't touched a drop since Christmas. I spent more time travelling last year than I did at home, so cutting down on the booze is the least I can do."   
Conversation then led naturally on to the challenges of jobs that involved travel, and long stints away from home. Casey had agreed with Nic to revert to his cover of being a security contractor, so at least he could be mainly truthful.  
"I suppose in your case it’s both of you, so you both know what you’re letting yourselves in for.” Matt pointed out. “And she's a great girl, your fiancée."   
Casey snorted slightly. "Fiancée. Hadn't really thought about that. Don't use that word in front of her, she'll change her mind." Although he said it as a joke, as soon as the words were out he wondered if on some level his worry was real.   
Matt shook his head. "You know, I met her six months ago, when they started this project to film the rally. Thought she was a real wild one, thrill seeker. But brilliant at what she does, no question." He looked shrewdly at Casey. "You think to do a dangerous job it's better to have nothing to lose, but there’s a thin line between fearless and reckless. So when you meet someone, or you have a kid, or whatever, it changes you. I was always scared it would slow me down, but in fact it made me a better rider, because I needed to be safer, because of Jo and then the kids. And Nic's calmed it down because of you, I can see that. She's still brilliant, but she doesn't seem as kamikaze as she did. I saw her put herself in harm’s way a dozen times in three days when we first filmed with her. Then on the rally she didn't do it once, not those kinds of risks." He sipped his water and met Casey's eye again. "And given your job, I guess you're in the same position?"  
He didn't know if it was the beer, the setting, his very recent engagement or a combination of all of those factors, but Casey found himself being uncharacteristically open.   
"I've been thinking differently for a while. It started last year, when I found out I have a daughter – a grown up daughter –” He added as Matt raised an eyebrow. "But since I met Nic it's on a different level. I told myself for years that I do what I do so that other people can be safe, have the house and the kids and the minivan. I didn't want or need any part of that. Then I met Nic, and now I think maybe there’s a middle road.”   
He looked around for Nic, and saw that she had joined a group on the other side of the room. He could pick out the sound of her laugh from the surrounding noise as easily as isolating a whisper on a surveillance recording. She was laughing at two guys who’d climbed onto a table and started stripping off, dancing badly to the background music.   
Matt groaned. "When the clothes start coming off, I know it's time for the sober people to go home. By which I mean me."   
Casey laughed and was about to reply when he picked up Nic's voice again, this time angry, "Touch me again and I will hurt you."   
He span and started moving through the crowd towards her before he'd even processed what was going on. Just below the guys now gyrating on the table, another biker had grabbed hold of Nic and, by the looks of it, was making a pretty aggressive pass at her.   
"Last warning!" Casey heard her say, then before he could get close enough to pull the guy off of her, he saw her fist move as she broke his nose with near surgical precision.   
"Oo broke by dose!" The rider had his hand clapped over his swelling face.  
"Normally I'd have broken your hand, but this way you can probably still ride tomorrow." Nic said coolly.   
"Bitch!" He slurred, lurching towards her again.   
Casey was close enough to reach him now, but as he growled and lunged forward, he felt strong arms restraining him. "Woah there!" Matt said, holding him back.   
"I'm going to break his goddamn neck!" Casey growled, pulling his arm from Matt's grasp.   
"No you're bloody not!" Nic said firmly.   
She turned to the staggering biker. "Use your brain, take a look around, and see what you think your chances are if you don't leave this minute." Reality seemed to dawn on his bloodied face, and he held one hand up in a surrendering pose, the other still cupping his bleeding nose. "Okay, okay." He started backing towards the side door, and once he was gone, Matt let go of Casey's arm.  
"Sorry mate, but you didn't really want to start something there, eh?"   
Casey shook his head, his eyes fixed on Nic, who was flexing her hand and wincing slightly.   
"I'm out of practice." She said softly. She looked up at Casey. "I was handling that perfectly well myself you know!" She looked like she couldn't decide whether to be angry or not, and thankfully she settled on not.   
He pulled her close and kissed her. "You okay?"  
"Yeah, of course." She flexed her hand again. "Just been a while. We should probably call it a night though."

Matt's wife and children were asleep when the three of them arrived at his house, a stone cottage a fifteen minute walk from the pub. Matt put his finger to his lips as he showed them into the living room and fetched them a pile of blankets.   
"Bathroom’s next to the kitchen. Lock the door in here, or you'll have the kids in first thing. I'll knock when it's breakfast time - we need to be at the track for 8, alright lovely?"  
Nic nodded. "Works for me."  
"Better get your heads down then. And just so you know, the walls are thick, and we're heavy sleepers." He winked deliberately and Casey chuckled, enjoying seeing one of those rare blushes creep over Nic's face.  
"Sweet dreams!" Matt twinkled.   
While Nic used the bathroom, Casey busied himself making a bed from the big floor cushions scattered around the room, and the blankets Matt had provided. The embers in the fireplace were still glowing, and he felt surprisingly relaxed in this house. By the time Nic came back, he was proudly surveying the nest-like bed he'd created for them. She smiled.   
"Hello you."  
"Hello." He flipped back the blankets and patted the cushions with a grin. "I made us a bed."  
"Yes you did." She kissed him gently. "And even when drunk, you do an excellent job of building a shelter."  
"I'm not drunk!" He protested, and she tipped her head to the side and stared him down until he chuckled. "Okay, a little drunk."  
She kissed him again. "Go use the bathroom."   
When he returned, she was snuggled up in the makeshift bed, still wearing her panties, bra and t-shirt. "I'm cold."  
"It'll warm up." He stripped down to his boxers and crawled onto the cushions beside her, burrowing under the blankets, and wrapped his arm around her and drew her in close, taking her right hand in his. "Let me see the damage."   
"It's fine!" She protested, but he still wanted to check. He ran his fingers over hers, checking her knuckles, making her flex the joints.   
"John, it was one punch. It's not like I haven't done it before!"  
He kissed the back of her hand, then her knuckles, then sucked a finger into his mouth. She gasped gently.   
"What are you doing?"  
He released her finger. "Kissing it better."  
She smirked. "Well, that's not really where I'm in pain..." He raised an eyebrow and she sniggered. "Bad line, I know."  
"I'll forgive you." He leaned in and kissed her, tugging her lower lip with his teeth, opening her mouth so he could slide his tongue against hers. He reached for her tshirt and pulled it upwards, breaking their kiss just long enough to pull it over her head. She unfastened her bra and threw it aside, pressing her breasts against his bare chest as they kissed again.   
“Who are you?” The voice from the doorway sounded curious rather than scared, and Casey whipped the blankets up to cover them both as he turned to see a small girl standing in the doorway. The only things visible now were his face and the top of Nic's head buried in his shoulder.  
"I'm Casey." He decided against offering a handshake.  
"Is that a lady?" The little girl asked.  
"Uh huh." He nodded, and felt Nic bury her head further into his shoulder.  
"Why are you in my house?"   
Casey found himself smiling at her serious little face. "We're your Dad's friends. We were out late and your Dad said we could sleep at your house. What's your name?" Casey asked.  
"Megan. What's the lady's name?"  
"Nic."  
"That's a boy's name." Megan declared.  
Casey felt Nic smile against his shoulder.   
"I know," He replied. "I didn't want to tell her in case she was embarrassed."   
Megan considered that for a moment while Casey felt Nic's fingers pinch his nipple under the blankets. He stifled a laugh.  
"Do you want me to tell her?" Megan offered helpfully.  
Nic poked her head out above the blankets, carefully keeping the rest of herself covered.  
"He's being silly." She told Megan, pushing the hair out of her eyes. "He knows my name is Nicole really. Nic is like when your daddy calls you Meg."  
Megan nodded. "Why do you have no clothes on?"  
Casey had to press his lips together hard to keep from laughing, and he heard Nic swallow her own laughter as she answered.   
"I got hot, because of the fire." She suddenly glanced across the room and Casey's eyes followed hers to the bra lying a few feet away. Unfortunately Megan's eyes saw it too.   
"Do you want your lady bra?" She asked.  
"That's quite enough questions from you, young lady." Said a deep Welsh voice from the doorway. Matt strode in and picked Meg up, tickling her gently and making her giggle. He turned his grin to Casey and Nic.   
"Could have sworn I advised locking the door, if you didn't want children asking about your lady bra."   
Nic buried her face in Casey's shoulder, tying to stem her laughter.   
“Right, little one,” Matt kissed Megan’s forehead. “Back to bed with you. And as for you two,” He turned towards Casey. “Lock the bloody door, eh?” And he left with a wink. 

Casey got up and locked the door before climbing back onto the cushions and pulling Nic close. “Where were we?”  
He leaned in to kiss her, but something in her face stopped him just short of her lips.   
“Can I ask you something?” She said, her eyes fixed on his and her voice serious.  
“Sure, of course.” He felt a slight twinge of unease in the pit of his stomach.   
“Do you want kids? More kids, I mean?”  
_Christ on a bike._ “Uh, if that was something you wanted, then I’d like to think we could discuss it-” He started carefully, but she shook her head.  
“I asked what you want. Don’t try to give the ‘good boyfriend’ answer.” Her expression was unreadable.  
He took a deep breath. “Okay, no. I don’t. I’m working it out with Alex, but she’s a grown up. I would have been a terrible father – never there, always focussed on the mission. It’s not an option for me.”  
She nodded and let out what sounded like a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. I don’t want kids either. Never have.” She paused. “Which is lucky, because as it happens, I can’t even if I wanted to. Even if we wanted to.”  
Her look was almost defiant, and he hesitated before asking, “Do you want to tell me about it?”  
“Not much to tell. I got pregnant when I was twenty five – accidentally, obviously – and as I didn’t realise, I also didn’t realise I’d had a miscarriage, and I ended up with an infection, led to blood poisoning. I was in Iraq at the time so I was lucky to get medical care. Lucky not to die.” She shrugged slightly.   
“Iraq…” He tensed as he put two and two together. “Cole Barker?”  
She nodded tersely. “Yeah. Possibly set me up, definitely knocked me up, and almost got me killed – twice, in effect. Lots of reasons to hate that guy.”  
He remembered her anger when he’d confronted her about Chuck’s flash. “What happened in Iraq?”  
“I’ll make you a deal.” Her voice softened a little and she moved a little closer into his arms. “I’ll tell you about Iraq, but you have to tell me about Alex first.”  
Casey tensed again, and Nic felt it. She ran her hand along his jaw.   
“Listen,” She said. “I know it isn’t easy for you to tell me things, but it isn’t always easy for me either. I’ve been dreading having this conversation, and then I saw how good you were with Megan… Sometimes we’re just going to have to grit our teeth and – how do the Californians put it – share.” She made a face and he couldn’t help but laugh a little. He lay back on the cushions, pulling her against him.  
“Okay. I’ll tell you about Alex. But some of this is classified, so you cannot tell anyone else. Do you understand?” He looked at her seriously and she nodded. “When I was recruited into Special Ops, Alex Coburn was declared dead, killed in action. That’s what Kathleen was told.” He was staring at the ceiling, not wanting to see her reaction. “I didn’t know she was pregnant, you know that.” He paused. “Last year, the man who recruited me into Special Ops went rogue. He used a threat against Kathleen to leverage me into helping him. I hadn’t seen her in twenty years, but I couldn’t let her die. When my team went in to protect her, I didn’t let her ID me. But I found out about Alex.”   
Nic laid a hand on his chest, and he gripped it in his, still staring at the ceiling as he tried to find the words to explain. “I wanted to leave it in the past. But I couldn’t. I pulled her file, found out she worked as a waitress to put herself through school. I started going in to the diner where she works. I only meant to go once, but then she-” He swallowed. “She has a great smile. And she’s smart. We started talking a little bit. And so I went back. Maybe once a week or so. I just became another one of her regular customers: little bit of chit chat, one of those smiles. And that was going to be enough.”   
He shifted onto his side and finally looked at Nic. “My job makes me a dangerous man to be close to. There are people who might – who would – hurt or threaten the people I care about, in order to get to me. They threatened Kathleen. And then they threatened Alex. I only told her I was her father because I needed her to let me keep her safe. Kathleen still doesn’t know I’m alive, because both Alex and I think it’s best for her, but it means she’s lying to her mom. For me.” He shook his head. “It is a fucked up situation, and that is my fault. No-one else’s. The reason I have always walked away from the people I cared about, the reason I don’t allow myself to care about people, is not just because of the job I chose, but because I couldn’t stand for anyone to get hurt because of me.”  
His eyes were still locked with hers, and Nic’s expression was serious. He swallowed before continuing. “I was selfish to stay with you in Washington. I was selfish when I asked you to marry me. Being with me puts you in harm’s way. You should know that. And you should probably walk away.”   
“I know who you are.” She said softly. “I know what I’ve chosen. And I’m not going anywhere. So don’t you ever suggest that again.”   
He let out a long breath, then tipped his forehead and rested it against hers. “I love you.”  
“I love you too.” 

He kissed her slowly. “Are you going to tell me about Iraq now?”  
“After.”  
“After?”  
She kissed him with intent, pushing him back into the cushions and straddling him, her hands on his face and then his shoulders as he ran his hands over her back. For a moment he thought she would slide down onto him, but she moved lower, dropping kisses on his chest, tracing her tongue along the line of hair leading down from his belly button, and took him in her mouth, taking his whole length, making his breath catch and his eyes almost cross.   
"Jesus, Nic!" He rasped out as she began to suck him, moving her mouth languorously up and down his shaft, her fingers caressing his balls. She made a soft humming noise that vibrated against him and made stars explode behind his eyelids.   
"If you keep doing that," He managed, "I'll come."  
Nic made a noise approximating the affirmative, and ran her tongue around the head of his cock before taking him deep again. She'd done this before, but never to the point of... Never had he actually... And then he couldn't think about anything but her mouth and her warmth and what the sweet lord is she doing with her tongue, and then he was coming hard, her mouth still tight around him as he gasped and groaned with release.   
She gently pulled away and looked up at him, and the wicked satisfaction in her eyes almost made him laugh.  
“After, huh?”  
He rolled her onto her back, moving down to kiss her breasts, running his tongue around her nipple as his hand slowly explored inside her panties, feeling for her sweet spot and brushing it gently. She gasped and pressed into his hand. It was his turn to move lower, kissing her stomach, licking her hip bone, pulling her panties down her thighs so that he could slide his tongue between her legs and taste her.   
"You taste so fucking good." He murmured. She gasped and laughed just a little, quickly turning to a moan as his fingers slid inside her. He moved slowly, still teasing her with his tongue, listening out for the little moans and whimpers that he loved. He traced the contours of her sex with the tip of his tongue, brushed her inner thighs with the pads of his fingers, teasing and licking and kissing until the taste and feel of her overwhelmed him, and her hips were bucking, and he could feel how close she was. He grabbed her hips with his hands, pressing her down, and sucked hard on her sweet spot, tipping her over the edge as she let out a low throaty groan of satisfaction.   
He moved back up the bed to kiss her, pulling her tight into his arms. She cuddled close and rested her head against his chest.   
“Is this after?” He murmured.  
“Can it wait until morning?” Her voice was sleepy.  
He nodded as he closed his eyes, suddenly exhausted. “We’ve got plenty of time.” He agreed. But just as he slid into sleep, it occurred to him that he just might have fallen for a diversionary tactic…


	13. Chapter 13

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her judgement. Hell, he knew she could take care of herself, it was one of the things he loved about her, but as he stood in the weak sunshine, squinting towards the horizon for another glimpse of her, Casey found himself wishing that Nic’s job didn’t currently involve riding pillion on a dirtbike while filming competitors racing at a speed that he wasn’t sure should be legal in knee deep mud. When she’d talked about coming to Wales to film some follow up after the rally, he’d assumed she meant interviewing people, and to be fair she’d spent the morning doing that; but there definitely hadn’t been any mention of spending the afternoon balancing one handed on the back of a bike while holding a camera in the other.   
There was no sign of her in the portion of the course he could see from here, but with its hills and trees, that wasn’t surprising. He rubbed his hands over his face. Maybe it would be easier when she was away on assignments and he didn’t know what she was doing. Maybe it would be worse. And what would it be like for her, knowing he was on a mission? She could joke about firearms all she wanted, but how would she feel knowing he was out there facing them? She’d certainly never be able to watch him work… But then maybe watching your fiancé hack security systems or shoot bad guys wouldn’t be much of a fun day out anyway.

Matt appeared beside him, proffering a cardboard cup of coffee. "Penny for your thoughts?"   
Casey took the coffee and grunted in reply, his eyes still fixed on the course.  
“Jo won’t come and watch me,” Matt commented. “Says she can’t bear it these days, now we’ve got the kids. And she won’t let them watch in case they decide they want to be like daddy when they grow up.”  
Casey managed a half smile. “Megan on a motorbike?”  
“She’d ride now if she could. She’s got a plastic trike for the back garden, and she rides it around making engine noises and shouting things she’s heard off of the guys – nothing a five year old should be saying, basically!”  
Casey laughed. Megan had insisted on sitting between himself and Nic at breakfast, and he had to admit the kid was cute.   
Matt gestured to a bike coming over the crest of the hill, another right beside it. "There’s your girl!"  
Casey squinted and saw that Matt was right, Nic was riding pillion on one of the bikes, camera held in one hand, as the rider moved fast over the sodden ground, her body shifting with the bike but looking none too stable.   
“What was that you said about taking risks?” Casey asked Matt with heavy irony.  
Matt shrugged, “Ah, I’ve seen her do much worse. Before she met you, I mean.” He added quickly as Casey growled.   
The two bikes were drawing close now, and Casey could see Nic clearly as she turned her camera to capture the competitor in profile. Just then, the competitor’s bike skidded slightly to the right, and Nic’s driver swerved to avoid a collision. Balanced with only one hand holding the seat, Nic had no chance of staying on. She dropped the camera and rolled as she fell, and Casey saw her bring her arm up to protect her head as she hit the ground.   
He tasted acid fear in his mouth as he crossed the ground at as much of a run as the muddy terrain would allow. The competitor had continued on unaware, but Nic’s driver had pulled up and was now bent over her on the ground.   
“Nic!” Casey shouted.   
The driver turned at the sound of his voice, and Casey could finally see Nic, covered in mud but clearly conscious. She was propped up on one elbow, her helmet already off, and Casey dropped to his knees next to her.   
“Are you hurt?” He automatically scanned her, assessing for injury, noting that the sleeve of her jacket was shredded and her exposed arm grazed, but he couldn’t see much else for the mud.   
“I’m fine!” She sounded annoyed rather than hurt, and the way she rolled her eyes reassured him a little. “Well, I say fine,” She gestured to her wrist. “I think this might need an X-ray.”   
He ran his fingers down her grazed arm, and felt the swelling from the middle of her forearm down to her fingers. She tried to hide it, but he heard the gasp of pain.   
“We need to immobilise it. Did you hit your head?” It was a drill he’d been through countless times, but not with someone he loved.   
“No. Definitely not, even with the helmet on.” She made eye contact with him as he helped her to a sitting position, careful to avoid her injured arm. “John, I’m fine. I just slipped.” Her tone was impatient.  
“Any other injuries?”  
She rolled her eyes again, and this time it annoyed him. “I banged my knee. But I can bend it, so it’s fine. I told you, I’m fine.”  
He raised an eyebrow and gave her the look that had been known to freeze the blood of new recruits.   
“Okay,” She conceded tetchily. “I might have broken my wrist, and it might have been a tiny bit stupid to ride pillion like that, but all we’re looking at is a few hours in the emergency room and a plaster cast. It won’t be the first time, and it’s not a big deal.”  
“You have got to be joking.” He said from between gritted teeth. “It is a big fucking deal.”   
Her eyes flashed dangerously. “My job involves risks too.” She hissed. “Deal with it.”  
Matt cleared his throat. “Much as I don’t want to interrupt, can I suggest you continue your discussion at the hospital?”

Casey was too angry to speak to Nic while he drove the Landover to the hospital, and judging by her furious expression, she felt the same. Thankfully they barely had to wait fifteen minutes for Nic to be seen, and while she was being examined and X-rayed, Casey rang the airline and postponed their flight back to LA for the second time.   
By the time Nic walked – or rather limped - back into the waiting area ninety minutes later, her right forearm encased in a plaster cast and sporting a fetching pair of oversized scrubs in place of her mud caked clothes, Casey had calmed down enough to inform her stonily that they were going to a nearby hotel for the night rather than getting the red eye back to LA. Nic had calmed down enough to thank him through gritted teeth, and let him help her into the car.   
Five minutes into the journey, she sighed and broke the silence.  
“Okay, enough. When I’m embarrassed I get defensive. So I’m sorry.”  
Casey glanced over at her. She was blushing slightly and not quite meeting his eyes. He realised how much it must have cost her to apologise, and it drained the remaining anger out of him.   
“I’m sorry too.” He reached for her knee and squeezed it briefly before returning his hand to the wheel.   
The owner of the hotel knew Matt, and as a result had given them a room with an amazing view, and a huge comfortable bed. Casey ferried their bags to the room while Nic settled herself on the bed, visibly trying not to wince as she tried to find a comfortable position for her arm and knee. He grabbed extra cushions from the windowseat and helped her get the right angle, then joined her on the bed, sitting on her other side so as not to risk jolting her injuries.  
“Fuck’s sake.” She sighed. “I’d forgotten what a pain these things are.”  
“How many bones have you broken?” He asked.  
“Um… this arm is the first time, but I’ve broken my left arm twice, my right leg once, and the occasional finger; don’t ask me which ones because I’ve lost track.”  
He raised an eyebrow. “More than me then. Though I’m with you on the fingers.”  
“Ah, but you definitely beat me on gunshot wounds.” She smirked. Then her eyes softened and she leant against him.  
“I’m sorry. I must have scared you.”  
He reached a hand up and stroked her hair, then slid his arm around her shoulders. “Yup.” He realised he didn’t need to say anything else. He wasn’t angry any more.   
“I used to be like that all the time.” She said, staring across the room and out of the window as she spoke. “It was just what I did. But then Afghanistan happened, and I met you, and when I was on the rally, things were a bit different. But I don’t know… I still wonder if the risk taking, if that’s what makes me good. If that’s who I am."  
He stayed silent, wondering where she was going with this.  
“You wanted to know about Iraq,” She said. “Do you? Still?”  
He nodded. “If you want to tell me.”   
“I don’t, not really, but I probably have to.” She rested her head against his shoulder. “I got special permission to film with the troops in Iraq, the peace keeping stuff. I was – God, I was so excited. I was starting to make a name for myself, people were watching my documentaries, and being able to go and do that project, it was like my dream job. And then I met Cole, and that seemed like the icing on the cake. This handsome, charming man.” She snorted slightly. “But he was recruiting me. Everything he did was designed to make me agree to work with him, for him…” She trailed off.   
“We’re trained to do that.” He said quietly. “To turn assets. To press the right buttons.”  
She nodded against his shoulder. “I know that now. I didn’t then. Even when he told me he was MI6, I didn’t realise that meant it was all a lie. I thought it was just… coincidence, I suppose. The kind of coincidence that happens when you work in those parts of the world. Stupid, looking back on it.”  
“Naïve, maybe.” He conceded, squeezing her shoulder gently.   
“So he recruited me, and I had an Iraqi contact I was supposed to meet and pass information on to. But the first time I went to meet him, something went wrong.” She paused. “He grabbed me, and held a knife to my throat. I fought him off, which he obviously wasn’t expecting, but he managed to slash me - you’ve seen the scar - and the fight got messy. I’d got a couple of good hits in, so he was disorientated, and so was I, from the blood loss. We ended up on the floor, and I ended up with the knife, and I… I didn’t think about where I was aiming, I just needed to get away.” She paused again. “I killed him.”   
Casey’s jaw was clenched tight. He had an irrational impulse to get in the car, drive to London, and beat Cole Barker to a bloody pulp. And then maybe throw him out a window. And then beat on him again.   
Nic had fallen silent and he looked down at her. “It’s okay.”  
She turned her head and looked up at him. “Is it?”  
“Well, it’s not… okay, but it’s okay. I mean, you did what you had to do. I would have done the same.”   
She nodded. “I thought - I hoped - you might say that.”  
“It’s true.”  
She was looking out the window again. “I've accepted it. I understand why and how it happened and I'm okay with it, as far as I can be.” She paused. “You said you’ve killed a lot of people?”  
He nodded. "Yeah."   
“Do you feel guilty?”  
He thought about it. “No. There are a few I don’t feel so great about, but it's my job, and I signed up for it.” He wondered if that was actually true, and decided it mostly was. “I’m not saying it doesn’t affect me,” He conceded. “But not like that.”  
“Okay.” She took a deep breath. “Well, afterwards, I managed to get word to Cole and they came and cleaned it all up. I was taken to the military hospital for treatment, and then I was supposed to go back to normal. Keep doing the job - my real job, the filming - and get on with things. And somehow I did. But I was feeling shit, physically, and I assumed it was just the aftermath of the fight but then I collapsed one day, right in the middle of filming an interview, and the next thing I remember is waking up four days later back in the hospital. Not dead from blood poisoning, which was good, but definitely never having kids. And I know this might sound callous, but I was okay with that part; it wasn’t like it had ever been in my plans. But at the same time I felt…” She shook her head slightly in frustration. “I suppose it was like an escalated version of how I felt today – I felt stupid, embarrassed, like a fucking idiot, to be honest. For trusting Cole, for thinking he gave a shit, for not realising I was pregnant, for not seeing the set up coming with the contact. And when I get embarrassed, I get angry. So I left the hospital against advice, jettisoned the filming, and flew back home, because all I wanted to do was get away from any trace of it all.” She sighed. “But when I got back to London-”  
Casey suddenly realised where this was going. He remembered what Mike had told him, and the picture of Nic with the smile that didn't reach her eyes.   
“But when I got back to London, Yuri was in the hospice, so I went straight from one hell into another. There was no way I could tell him what had happened, so I stayed there with him, mainly curled up next to him on the bed, for six days. One of the nurses, she used to change my dressing and dole out my drugs while they were giving Yuri his, so that he wouldn’t know. She was a saint.”   
Her voice was shaking a little now, and he shifted his body so he could put his other arm around her, holding her properly. She kept her eyes on the window.   
“So then he died. I was there, which was good. Right next to him. Mike was there too, he had to lift me off the bed, because I couldn’t get down myself. And afterwards I walked, I walked for hours, halfway across bloody London, and I decided that was it. From now on, I was going to look after myself, and I was going to be brilliant at my job, because I love it, and I was never going to let anyone get that close to me again.”  
She stopped and looked up at him. “You’re not the only one who walked away from the people they care about. You’re not the only one who kept everyone at arm’s length.”  
He nodded. And then, because it was the only thing he could think to do, he took her face in his hands and kissed her. Casey wasn't a man of many words, never had been. He'd talked and laughed more in the last couple of months than he had in years, and that was down to her. But right now, words weren't going to tell her what she needed to know. Well, maybe three of them would help.  
"I love you." He said, and then kissed her again, wrapping her carefully in his arms, showing her with his lips and his body how he felt about her, about them, about this ridiculously perfect clusterfuck of a love affair.  
He ran his hands slowly over the uninjured parts of her that he could reach. She caressed his face with her good hand, kissing him back with growing passion. He groaned and broke the kiss, holding his mouth just above hers as he spoke.  
"Can we...?"  
She nodded vigorously and pulled his head down to kiss him again.

To accommodate her cast and injured knee, he took her from behind, spooned up against her on their sides, his lips on her neck and his hands on her breast and hip as he slowly eased into her.   
"I love being inside you," He groaned into her ear, feeling her clench around him. "It's my favourite place to be."  
She gasped and he bit her earlobe gently.   
"You're my favourite... everything..." She moaned softly, as his fingers found her sweet spot. She bucked back against him.  
"Steady-" He cautioned, though all he wanted to do was let loose and pound into her, claiming her again. "Your arm..."  
"Forget my arm, just fuck me, Casey, please!"   
He growled, reaching round and securing her injured arm against her body with his left hand, leaving his right just where it was between her legs as he drove into her hard. She let out a throaty groan of satisfaction.   
"Yes!"   
He thrust hard and fast into her, burying himself hilt deep with every stroke, holding her tight, his mouth against her shoulder, tasting the sweat beading her skin as she pushed back against him.   
He felt her start to come even before she gasped his name, and he roared with release as he shot deep inside her, sinking his teeth into her shoulder. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, kissing her softly as they lay together afterwards, wrapped up in each other under the covers.  
She smiled and kissed him back. "Yeah."   
He ran his fingers over the teeth marks in her shoulder. "I'm sorry about this." He kissed the hurt, soothing it with his tongue.   
"It's okay, I think you'll have fingernail marks on your arm!"  
He checked, and saw four perfect red crescents cut into his forearm where she'd held on with her left hand. "We're even then."   
She nodded. "Best way to be."  
He cradled her close and breathed deeply. "After today, I'm not sure I can ever let you out of my sight again." He cautioned.  
"I'm not going anywhere." She replied.


	14. Chapter 14

They dozed for a while, wrapped up in the duvet and each other, Casey cradling Nic gently in his arms. At some point soon he knew there would have to be a plan, a conversation, some kind of decision on when they were going back to the States, when and how they were going to get married, where they would live, how the hell they would make this work… But for now, he was just going to lie here and hold his future while she slept.  
Later he helped her shower and wash the mud out of her hair, a task he tried to take seriously, but thanks to her wandering hand and the way the soapy water trickled down over her breasts, it wasn’t long before he had her pressed against the tiled wall, one leg around his waist as he thrust inside her, her plastered arm held awkwardly away from the water as they both tried to keep their balance. In the end he lifted her out of the shower and back into bed, before there were any more broken bones. 

Afterwards, they went down to the hotel bar for a drink. Aside from the cast on her arm, with her hair back in its messy ponytail and her skinny jeans and a faded Rolling Stones tshirt on, Nic looked back to normal. Casey sat with his hand firmly on her knee, their shoulders touching as they shared a small sofa in an alcove.  
"You weren't kidding about not letting me out of your sight, were you?" She asked. "You haven't even taken a hand off me."  
He shook his head and tried to articulate his thoughts. "I've been in three wars, countless dangerous situations, and I've never been as-" He gritted his teeth, "-as scared as I was when I saw you come off that bike. So no, I'm not letting you out of my sight, and I might not let you out of my reach for a while either."  
She raised an eyebrow, "That might make going to the bathroom a little tricky."  
He laughed reluctantly. "Point taken. But that's the only exception."  
"Okay." She leant into him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "When can we go home?"  
"And home is...?" He held his breath slightly.  
"LA? I mean, that's where you need to be, right?"  
"Right." He let out the breath with a sigh. "At least for now. You realise that with my job, I don't always get a say?"  
"Well, neither do I. And long term, we can talk about that, but for now I wouldn’t mind being based somewhere for a while." She laughed slightly. "Which is a first. Though I do have to spend some time in New York soon to get the editing done on the Afghanistan film. A month, maybe. And then there will be another trip…” She paused. “But we’ll work it out, right?”  
"Right." He met her eyes and bent his head to kiss her softly. "And I'm happy you're coming back to LA. But in order for you to live with me, I have to ask for clearance."  
"Okay..." She nodded slowly. "Does the same go for getting married?"  
"Technically it's the same thing."  
"What are they going to be looking for?"  
"Detailed background check, affiliations, that kind of thing. It'll be fine."  
"Iraq?" She asked softly.  
"They might want to speak to MI6." He conceded.  
"Couldn't we..." She bit her lip. "What if we got married first? What could they do?"  
He started shaking his head before she even finished speaking. "No. I can't do that. It's tantamount to disobeying orders, and I don't-"  
"Okay." She held her hands up. "Had to ask." She sipped her whiskey and grimaced. "I can't believe you made me have water in this."  
"After this morning, you're lucky I'm letting you have a drink at all." He smirked. "Judging by the tshirt choice, you're probably concussed."  
"Hey, I love this shirt! I've had it since I was seventeen!" Her eyes sparkled with amusement. She glanced at his black long sleeve tshirt. "I bet you've never owned a slogan tshirt in your life."  
"Ha! Wrong! There's one in my closet right now." He smirked.   
"What does it say?"  
He started to laugh, "'If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.'"  
She looked at him in disbelief then started to laugh herself. "Oh god, seriously?"  
"Yup."  
"I am so burning that when we get home."  
"I thought you could model it for me." He ran a hand along her thigh, still laughing.  
"Is there a readers’ wives section in Guns and Ammo, then?" She was struggling to speak for laughing, and there was something about it that made his chest fill. He bent his head and kissed her, gently tugging her lower lip with his teeth, opening her mouth so he could taste her with his tongue. He cupped her face in his hand and stroked her cheek as he deepened the kiss and heard her give the softest moan into his mouth.  
"Well," Said an amused and slightly familiar voice from behind him, "This isn't quite how I was expecting to find you, Casey."  
He felt Nic turn to stone a second before he recognised the voice and turned to see Cole Barker standing six feet away.

The angle meant that Casey's body was blocking Nic from Cole's view, but he knew it was only a matter of seconds before the British agent caught sight of who he was with.  
"Cole?"  
"Our mutual friend General Beckman asked my lot to track you down. Seems you've been just a little bit AWOL. And as I was in the neighbourhood, I volunteered to help you find your way to the airport." He was moving towards their sofa as he spoke, and the window of opportunity for Casey to head him off was rapidly closing.  
"I'll call Beckman. Thanks for the heads up." Being civil was killing him, but it was necessary.  
"Oh come on, the least you can do is buy me a drink and introduce me to your friend."  
"Hello Cole." Nic's voice sounded perfectly steady and Casey felt a fierce swell of pride, quickly coupled with a little pleasure at the sight of Cole's smile faltering slightly as he registered just who was sitting beside Casey.  
"Nicole Sullivan!" He recovered quickly. "Bloody hell, Beckman said Casey was tangled up with a woman, but now I understand!" The charm was turned up to eleven. "I considered going AWOL for you a time or two myself."  
"No, you didn't." Nic said sweetly, and Casey suppressed a smirk as he tightened his arm slightly on her shoulders.  
Cole sat down on a chair opposite them. "So I'm intrigued to hear how this happened. Defecting to the UK, Casey? Or just enjoying some unscheduled R&R?"  
"Celebrating our engagement." He replied bluntly, and felt Nic shiver lightly as she registered Cole's reaction.  
"Well, there's a piece of news. I'm guessing General Beckman has yet to send her congratulations?" The smile was still in place, but it had twisted slightly. "She's not too happy with you."  
"It's my fault." Nic said calmly. "Got myself injured, delayed our return to the States."  
Cole's glance flickered over her arm, took in her face, then returned to Casey.  
"You really should call Beckman. I can keep Nic company, reminisce about old times. I'm assuming she's told you about our past acquaintance?"  
Casey nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He was loathe to step away, but it was the easiest way he could think of to hasten Cole's departure.  
"I'll be just over there." He said to Nic, relinquishing his contact with her reluctantly. He kept his eyes firmly on her as he moved a few paces away and dialled Beckman. He'd ignored a couple of calls over the past two days, but sending MI6 to find him felt like overkill.

"Casey, how nice of you to take the time." Beckman's voice was like ice being poured into his ear.  
"General."  
"Our agreement was that you would return to Burbank from Austria two days ago, but it seems you are now in the UK. Care to explain, Colonel?"  
"A personal matter, ma'am." His attention was only half on the conversation, his eyes still fixed on Nic and Cole. Cole was leaning forward slightly in his seat, speaking to her, but she was still sat back on the sofa, her face expressionless.  
"I understand from Agent Walker that there is a woman involved."  
"Yes ma'am. And when I return to LA I will be requesting the appropriate clearance for marriage." He replied formally.  
The general was silent for a moment, and Casey realised that he'd actually rendered her speechless, which had to be a first.  
"Well, Colonel Casey." She said eventually. "This is an unexpected development, to say the least. And one that we can discuss further on your return to Los Angeles."  
"Ma'am." _Looking forward to that conversation. _  
"I understand your… friend is acquainted with Cole Barker, given his eagerness to track you down when a phone call would have sufficed?"  
Casey's blood turned to ice. "I'm sorry, General, you didn't send Barker?"  
"For a two day delay, dispatching MI6 to round you up would seem somewhat extreme, don't you agree? I made a courtesy call to London to check nothing unorthodox had occurred, and Agent Barker immediately volunteered to renew his acquaintance with yourself and…” He could hear the rustle of paper. “Ms Sullivan."  
"I see."  
"I want you back in Burbank, Casey. Your vacation is over."  
"Yes ma'am."  
He hung up, and took a second to consider his approach. Cole's surprise at seeing Nic had been faked, so what was his real intention here? Cole was leaning almost out of his chair now, but Nic was still giving him nothing. Her eyes flickered to Casey, and he returned to the sofa slowly, sitting down beside her, taking her hand in his.  
Cole immediately sat back in his chair. "Court martial on your return, Casey?" He smirked, and Casey had to resist the impulse to punch him.  
"Actually, the General was keen to congratulate me on our engagement." He turned to Nic. "We do have to go back to LA though."  
"Good." She squeezed his hand. He noticed she was looking a little pale.  
"So my work here is done," Cole said. "Let's have a drink to celebrate. You can tell me about my other old friends, Casey. Nic and I have been catching up about the old days, I'm feeling quite nostalgic."  
"Excuse me a minute." Nic stood and released Casey's hand.  
"You okay?"  
"Exception to the rule," She replied, with a ghost of a smile, and headed towards the ladies room.  
Casey rounded on Cole. "What are you doing here, Barker? According to Beckman, there was no request to track us down, and you knew Nic was with me."  
"Easy, Casey." Cole held his hands up in slightly mocking surrender. "I thought it would be nice to catch up with old friends, that's all. We worked well together, if you remember. And the idea of you and Nic, quite intriguing.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice. "Tell me, is she still as adventurous in the sack as she used to be? Because-"

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because Casey hit him. It hadn't been planned or considered, his fist had just flown on its own.  
"Ha!" Cole pinched his bleeding nose and rose to his feet. "I'll take that as a yes." His smile was more of a snarl now. "You want to be careful, Casey. Can’t blame you for wanting a piece of that action, but she's damaged goods. Unpredictable, out of control, she killed a man in Iraq and expected me to deal with the mess. She put my entire career at risk."  
Casey stood up, trembling with rage. “You put her life at risk!”  
Cole made an impatient gesture. “We do a dangerous job, I don’t have to tell you that, Casey! She knew what she was getting into.”  
“Did she? It didn’t fucking sound like it!” His fists were clenched tight by his sides, and it was taking all of his self control not to hurl himself at Cole and beat that smug face into a pulp.   
"God, man, look at yourself! What has she done to you?"   
"Get. Out." Casey hissed between clenched teeth. It wasn't his job to dole out retribution for what Cole had done to Nic, but that didn't mean he wasn't sorely tempted, and he couldn't answer for his actions if they remained in the same room for much longer.   
Cole stood his ground, wiping his bloody nose on the back of his hand. “It’s a shame really, you used to be an incredible agent. Now look at you.”  
Casey's jaw was clenched as tight as his fists. “I said, get out.” He took a step towards Cole, and it was only then that he saw Nic standing at the edge of the alcove. The look on her face told him that she’d heard at least the latter part of their conversation.   
There was a strange moment of silence, and then Cole’s phone began to ring. He pulled it from his pocket without taking his eyes off of Casey.   
“Barker.” He snapped. He listened for a moment and his face paled slightly. He shot a look of utter contempt at Nic, then turned back to Casey, covering his phone with his hand as he said, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you about her.” Then he returned the phone to his ear and strode out of the bar without a backward glance.  
Casey turned to Nic, who gave him a wry half smile.   
“I think he’s in trouble.” She said, but her face was pale as she stepped close to him and laid her fingers over his bloody fist. “You can stop now. He isn’t coming back.”

Casey consciously relaxed his jaw, his shoulders, let his fingers uncurl. "What did you do?"  
She didn’t quite meet his eye as she answered. "I rang Sarah, who I assume rang your General, who I assume rang Cole's boss."  
He was about to applaud her tactics, when he realised what was wrong with her explanation.  
"Wait, what do you mean you rang Sarah?"  
"Yeah, about that..." Nic shot him that awkward half smile again. "Maybe if I worked in an office or something, I'd buy that a woman like Sarah works in a yoghurt shop and just happened to get friendly with her secretive, gun toting, government spy neighbour. To the extent of having the rapport you guys have? But I’ve known spies before. And soldiers. I gambled, and it paid off. She wasn't surprised."  
He rubbed his hands over his face. "Well I guess that deals with one awkward conversation I thought we'd have to have."  
She shrugged a little. “If there’s another one planned about Chuck, you can probably cross that off the list too, though I’d peg him for an analyst rather than a field agent?”  
Casey snorted. “I’ve been saying that for years.” The adrenaline was starting to wear off and he suddenly felt incredibly tired.   
“He’s the one who spotted my ring, isn’t he? Not you. That night at dinner.”  
He paused and nodded. “Yeah.” She didn’t have to know about the intersect, would never know about it, but he couldn’t lie.  
“Thought so.” She smiled slightly. “If it had really been you, you would have noticed earlier. You’re one of the most observant people I’ve ever met. Well, except for not spotting my fighting skills.”   
He gave her a half smile of his own. “You don’t fit into any boxes. Makes it tougher to read you.”  
“Charmer.” She managed a small smirk. “Come on, let’s have another drink.” She sat back down on the sofa, holding out her uninjured hand for him to join her, but he resisted.  
"How do you know Cole's not coming back?"  
"Well, while you were on the phone to General... Beckett?"  
"Beckman."  
"-General Beckman, Cole offered to share your file with me."  
"He doesn't have access to my file!"  
"Well, apparently he does, since he already shared a few details. He openly offered me your file, and mine for that matter." She seemed remarkably calm about it. "So I imagine his boss will want a chat with him before he’s allowed anywhere near us again."  
"What did he want in return?" Casey finally sat down, and Nic reached for his hand. As he grasped hers, he felt that it was shaking, and realised that her apparent calm wasn't entirely genuine.  
"He wanted me to pass on details of what you were up to; ‘sharing intelligence’ he called it. I think he's actually arrogant enough to believe that he could talk me into working for him again."  
"Or talk you into sharing classified information, which would carry a prison sentence in the US."  
She went white. "I didn't think of that."  
"Whatever angle he's playing, you played a better one. Well done sweetheart." He squeezed her hand.  
She rubbed at the blood on his knuckles. "Did you break his nose?"  
"Think so. Felt like it."  
"Good." She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “We’re tied at one all on breaking the faces of creeps then.” She tried to smile.   
"Nic-" He paused, weighing the question and timing, but decided better to get it all over with in one go. "What details did he share with you? From my file?"  
“John Casey isn’t your real name. You kill people.” She paused. “And your mentor and your sensai both went rogue, which means there’s a question mark over your loyalty. Though I don’t believe that one.”  
“You shouldn’t.” He felt the familiar stab of pain at the memories.  
“Did your General really congratulate us? Or were you saying that to wind Cole up?”  
“The latter, unfortunately.”  
Nic grimaced at him, and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, resting his forehead against hers.  
“Are you in trouble?” She asked softly.  
“No, just need to get back.”  
“Tomorrow?”  
“Yeah. I’ll call the airline.”  
She sat up, gently disengaging from him. “I wasn’t going to ask, but actually I think I have to. I heard some of it, but… What did Cole say about me?”  
“Nothing worth listening to.” He looked her right in the eye. “I know who you are. Don’t need anyone else to tell me anything at all.”


	15. Chapter 15

“So skiing really is as dangerous as they say?”  
Casey turned from where he was unlocking their front door to see Chuck standing in the archway entrance of the apartment block, his eyes on Nic’s plastered arm.  
“No, but apparently motorbikes are.” Nic made a face and then laughed. “Hi Chuck.”  
“Hey. Seriously, you okay?”  
“She’s fine. For a klutz.” Casey answered for her, and Nic stuck her tongue out at him. He growled, and Chuck laughed.  
“I should warn you that Ellie is expecting you two for dinner tonight, and she will not be taking no for an answer.”  
“Great!" Nic replied. "She can take this cast off my arm! Next time I’m going to break the one I don’t write with.”  
“That cast is going nowhere until a doctor says so.” Casey cautioned.  
“My point exactly.” Nic retorted.  
“I’m staying out of this.” Chuck strolled past them towards his own apartment with a grin.   
“Wait, Chuck, is Sarah home?” Nic asked.   
“Yeah, I think so. You want to say hi?”  
“Yeah…” Nic sounded a little tentative, and Chuck seemed to pick up on it.  
“I’ll ask her to come out.” He stepped into the apartment.  
Nic turned to Casey. “Can you give us a minute?”  
“Sure.” He opened the door of their apartment and carried the first lot of bags inside, leaving her to move further into the courtyard as Sarah appeared.   
Casey was well aware that eavesdropping was an unpleasant habit, but he’d never pretended not to have a few of those. And anyway, a lifetime of surveillance is a tough habit to break. He eased back into the courtyard, crouching down next to the remaining bags, out of sight but in earshot of Nic and Sarah.  
“So I wanted to say I’m sorry.” Nic was saying. “I’m worried I put you in a difficult position.”  
“You didn’t.” Sarah’s tone was reassuring. “You did the right thing.”  
“I did the only thing I could think of. The history I have with Cole, I knew what he might do.”   
“You were protecting yourself.” Sarah replied. “We’ve all done that. I want to apologise for telling the General about you, that Casey was with you. I’m worried it might have made things difficult.”  
Casey heard Nic sigh. “Maybe. I don’t know. Casey says not, but after everything with Cole, who knows? She would have had to find out anyway, now that we’re-” She paused. “Now that I’m around for good.”   
“You are, huh?” Sarah’s voice was soft, and somehow approving.  
“Yeah.” Casey liked how definite her voice was. “Not even Cole could mess this up.”  
“You know, I was charmed by Cole at the time, but… There was always something a little off.” Sarah sounded thoughtful. “That whole James Bond act was a little too good to be true.”  
“Sounds about right.” Nic agreed. “So, did you ever…?” Casey could hear the smirk in her voice.  
“No!” Sarah replied. “Well, not quite.” She lowered her voice and Casey had to strain to hear. “Was it…?”  
“Really good. In a technical sense.” Nic replied, and Casey started to wish he’d stayed inside the apartment. “But no comparison to John!”   
“Ew!” Sarah exclaimed and Casey had to stifle a laugh. “Don’t tell me that!”  
Nic laughed. “You mean you two never…?”  
“Oh god, no!” Sarah was laughing now too. “Don’t get me wrong, Casey is an amazing partner and underneath the grunting and the sarcasm I know he’s actually a great guy, but… Oh god, no!”  
“I’m kind of relieved.” Nic said through her laughter. “I mean, it would have been fine, but-”  
“Well no, no no no. And besides, I met Chuck before I met Casey, so…”  
“You guys have been together ever since?”  
Sarah laughed again. “That’s kind of a long story-”   
_Okay, enough is enough._ Casey moved back into the doorway of the apartment and stood up, striding out into the courtyard.   
“Girl talk done for today?” He asked them, and was rewarded with an eye roll from Sarah and a snort of laughter from Nic. “Don’t know about you, but I need to catch up on some sleep.”  
Nic smiled at Sarah. “See you at dinner tonight? And maybe get coffee or something soon?”  
“Definitely.” Sarah leaned in and the two hugged briefly. “Sleep well.”  
Nic murmured something back that Casey couldn’t hear, but judging by Sarah’s exaggerated shudder, he could make an educated guess. 

Nic was still smirking as she followed him back into the apartment. “So how much of that did you hear?” She asked bluntly.   
He considered lying, but dismissed it. “Most of it.”  
She shook her head, smiling slightly. “You know, I want to be mad, but I probably would have done the same thing, so I’m going to let you off with a warning. But listening in to my private conversations is not okay. Okay?”  
“Okay.” He conceded.   
“And besides, did you really want to hear what Cole is like in bed?” She raised an eyebrow.   
He grimaced. “Nice to know I’m better.”  
“Oh, you’re the best.” She smirked at him. “But then you already know that.” She put her arms around his neck, the plaster cast resting a little awkwardly on his shoulder. “You know, if I’m going to live here, we might have to have a conversation about home furnishings. Or at least get a picture of Barack to hang alongside Reagan.”   
He kissed her, pulling her tight against his body. “The only home furnishing I’m interested in right now is that bed upstairs. More specifically, getting you naked and into it.”  
He bent and lifted her into his arms, and she laughed as he carried her up the stairs.  
“No hanging around, huh?”  
“You have a smart mouth, lady.”  
“Right back at ya, Casey.”  
“About that-” He pushed the bedroom door open with his foot and gently dropped her onto the bed. “When did you start calling me Casey?”  
She wrinkled her forehead. “I don’t know. When did I? I guess it’s how you introduce yourself, and what everyone else calls you. Do you mind?” She lifted her tshirt off over her head, then pulled it carefully over her cast, throwing it to the floor.  
“Call me what you like.” He stripped off his own shirt, enjoying the way her eyes went straight to his chest.  
"You might regret that," She took off her bra and he shucked off his pants and boxers before helping her pull her jeans off. "Schnookums?"  
He raised an eyebrow and joined her on the bed, peeling off her panties with one hand while cupping her breast in the other.  
"Babycakes?"   
He growled and bit her nipple, making her gasp.  
"Honeypie?"  
He shut her up with a kiss, eating hungrily at her mouth. She tangled her tongue with his, pressing tight against him, throwing her leg over his so that his hand could slide between her thighs. She groaned as his fingers found her wetness.   
Casey rolled her onto her back and positioned himself between her legs, carefully lifting her plastered arm onto the pillow behind her head.  
"Okay?" He murmured.  
"Mmm hmm." She tugged his lower lip with her teeth and he took the hint and kissed her deeply again as he slid inside her.   
Her body arched against his, and he propped himself up on one elbow as he ran his other hand up the sensitive underside of her left thigh, deepening the bend of her knee, pushing deeper inside her as she shivered and ran her hand into his hair, pulling his head back down for another kiss.  
"You drive me crazy," She murmured, tilting her hips and gasping as he thrust hard into her. "I'm dying for you all the time..."  
He grinned a little and thrust deep and hard again. "Oh yeah?"  
“Yeah… Sugarpop.”  
He growled. “If you don’t quit that, I might stop.” He stilled his movements.  
She arched up and kissed him. “No, don’t do that.”   
She tightened around him and he groaned, thrusting deep as her fingers raked his shoulder and she moaned into his mouth. His hand tightened on her leg as he moved faster, feeling her start to shiver beneath him.  
“You drive me crazy too,” He said softly, his lips against her ear, and he nipped the soft skin of her neck as she cried out and came, pulling him over the edge with her. 

Afterwards, Casey insisted on unpacking while Nic reclined on the bed and watched, a smile playing around the corners of her mouth.  
"You can always tell a military man by his folding."  
"Well, you've got six weeks to enjoy me doing it all while you wait for that cast to come off." He said firmly.  
"I'm going to talk to Ellie. I heal fast and it's really pissing me off!"  
"It's been three days, baby. You need to be patient."  
"Baby?"  
He shrugged. "I'm trying something."  
She smirked and blew him a kiss. "Okay cuddle bunny."

Ellie had outdone herself as usual, and the six of them sat down to an absolute feast. Devon had flat out refused to saw Nic's cast off, but Ellie suggested she come by the hospital for a further x-ray and to see if a more lightweight option would be feasible.   
"Where's Morgan?" Sarah asked as they dug into roast chicken and numerous side dishes. "Isn't this his favourite?"  
Ellie laughed. "One of them. I did invite him, but apparently he had other plans."  
"Who's Morgan?" Nic asked, struggling to cut up her chicken one handed.  
"A hobbit." Casey replied, taking her plate and slicing the chicken for her while she made a face. She shook her cast at the Woodcombs.   
"Seriously? Look what I'm reduced to!"  
Devon laughed but Ellie looked more sympathetic.   
"At least you have John to take care of you."  
"For the rest of her life." Casey muttered, but Sarah heard him.  
"Casey, what did you say?"  
He glanced at Nic. She shrugged and smiled.  
"Okay you guys, what's going on?" It was Chuck's turn to ask.  
"We're getting married. This is great chicken." Casey thought for a split second he might have got away with it, but Ellie's shriek quickly said otherwise.  
"Married?!"  
Nic blushed and held up her hand, displaying the ring. "It's not a big deal. I mean, it is to us, but not... Help me out here?" She appealed to Casey.  
"I asked her, she said yes, we'll go to Vegas, we'll be married. Done." He took another mouthful of chicken, but Sarah and Chuck were still staring open mouthed at him.  
"You? Casey? Married?" Chuck started to laugh.   
"Why exactly is that funny, Bartowski?" Casey growled.  
Sarah chipped in. "No, it's... It's great, it's just..." And then she started to laugh too.  
"Well, I think it's wonderful news! Congratulations!" Ellie jumped up and came around the table to embrace them both.   
"This calls for champagne!" Devon went into the kitchen and emerged with a bottle. "Grateful patient gave me this, can't think of a better reason to crack it open!"  
"I'll get glasses." Ellie hustled him back into the kitchen and they heard a cork pop.   
"Out with it." Casey turned to Chuck.   
"Casey, it's great news, seriously, it's just that I never had you down for the, uh, marrying kind." Chuck started laughing again.  
"As opposed to Walker, who-" Casey started, but Nic got there before him.  
"I'm not the marrying kind either, so it's probably the perfect match." Her tone was light, but there was a hint of steel. "And anyway, I'm only marrying him for his firearms." She grinned, and as he reluctantly chuckled, Casey had to admit that amongst her other skills, Nic could defuse a conversational bomb as efficiently as he could defuse a real one.  
As they sipped champagne, Ellie was keen to quiz them on wedding plans, refusing to be satisfied with the one word answer of 'Vegas'.  
"But even if it's just the two of you, you're still going to need a dress, right?"  
"Actually, I'm planning on wearing exactly what I was wearing when John proposed." Nic replied, and Casey choked on his mouthful of champagne as a vivid image of her naked in his lap flashed through his mind. She caught his eye and he could tell by her smirk that she knew exactly what he was thinking.   
"It's a dark blue silk dress." She continued to Ellie as Casey wiped his mouth. "I bought it to wear that night, so I figure it deserves a second outing."   
"So, how did you propose, John?" Ellie asked, and Casey almost choked again. 

"You do realise," He said to Nic as they lay in bed together later that night, "That unless we do this wedding very soon and very quietly, Ellie will try to turn it into a circus."  
She nodded. "Yup, certainly got that impression. You know I'd do it tomorrow, but your paperwork... How long is that going to take?"  
He shook his head. "I don't know. I'll talk to General Beckman in the morning. See how quickly they can process it."  
"What if-" She hesitated. "What if they say no? What if you aren't allowed to marry me? What then?"  
He sighed. "I don't think that will happen, but honestly? I don't know. I'll fight them, I guess."  
She nodded slowly, and he realised he needed to be clearer.  
"I wouldn't give you up, if that's what you're asking." He caught her chin in his hand and looked her straight in the eye. "That is not an option."

"Colonel Casey, welcome back." Beckman stared out at Casey, Sarah and Chuck from the video screen in Castle. "I hope you had a pleasant vacation, and you're ready to return to your duties, as I have a new mission for your team."  
"Ma'am." Casey nodded.  
"There is a so-called medical conference taking place at a five star hotel here in Los Angeles, and we suspect that a number of agents for some of the most notorious international arms dealers will be attending to make new contacts in the fields of chemical and biological weaponry. We need the intersect to identify these agents, and for your team to track them back to their masters. Any questions?"   
The three members of Team Bartowski remained silent.  
"Very well then." The General reached for her keyboard to disconnect the call, but Casey spoke before she could do so.   
"A word in private, General?"  
Beckman sighed slightly but nodded. "Fine. Walker, Chuck, you are dismissed."  
Sarah and Chuck left the room, and Casey addressed the General.  
"Ma'am, as I mentioned when we spoke a few days ago, I am requesting clearance to marry Nicole Sullivan. I would like to expedite the process so that we can do this as soon as possible."  
"Expedite?" Beckman's face showed an element of disapproval. "Colonel, I trust you haven't got further 'happy news' to share?"  
It took Casey a second to realise what she was implying, and then he had to hide a smirk as he replied.   
"No ma'am, just want to get the formalities over with."  
Beckman nodded. "I'll start the paperwork, but in the meantime Casey, I'd appreciate you directing your focus towards your mission."

Seven weeks, nine long haul flights and just two full nights with Nic later, Casey was starting to doubt the General's commitment to processing that paperwork. The only times he'd been back in Burbank for more than twenty four hours just happened to have been during the month Nic spent in New York working with her editing team, and the one time he'd booked a flight to go see her, Beckman had called with another assignment. Not only that, but in the last couple of weeks even phone and video calls hadn’t been an option, as he, Sarah and Chuck had been deep undercover. But this weekend he and Nic were both going to be in the apartment at the same time, for two whole days, and he was intending to spend every second that he wasn't in bed with Nic on the phone to Beckman and his other contacts at the NSA and CIA getting the paperwork moved along.   
As he pushed open the door to the apartment, he could see that the ground floor was empty.   
"Nic!" He called. "You here?"  
"Upstairs!" She called back. Just hearing her voice made him start to relax.   
He climbed the stairs and found her in the bedroom. His mouth went dry as he took in the sight of her laying naked on the bed, her arms behind her head, one leg bent up slightly so he could see a glimpse of what lay between her thighs.   
"Take your clothes off." She said quietly, her eyes fixed on his. "And come over here."   
"I missed you." He growled as he pulled off his clothes.  
"I missed you too." She reached for him as he joined her on the bed, taking her in his arms and kissing her slowly and deeply, stroking his tongue against hers as his hands started to explore her body, reacquainting himself with her soft skin, the muscles and the curves.   
"You've been working out." He murmured between kisses.   
"I had some time on my hands." She murmured back, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him on top of her.   
"Now?" He asked.  
She nodded, and he kissed her as he eased inside her, gasping as her tight heat enveloped his cock. She moaned into his mouth, and all thoughts of taking it slowly vanished from his mind as he felt her fingernails dig into his shoulders and her heels pressed into the small of his back. He kissed her again as he drove deep, losing himself in the feeling of her, the knowledge that he had two days of this ahead, and that she wanted this as much as he did. She was gasping, meeting his thrusts, and he managed to slide a hand between their bodies to tease her sweet spot as he realised he was going to come any second. He managed to hold off until he felt her arch against him and heard her gasp his name, then let go with a groan of relief. 

He held her close as they recovered, her head on his shoulder and her fingers tracing patterns over his chest.   
"I'm so happy to see you." She said, and he turned his head so he could kiss her.   
"Me too."   
"I was worried you'd have to cancel."   
"Me too." He said again.  
"Maybe we should go get some dinner or something before I say this but..."  
"What is it?"  
"This doesn't just feel like clashing schedules." She looked up at him. "Have they said anything to you about the paperwork? The clearance?"  
He sighed. "You're right, we should go get dinner."  
"Why? Have they refused-"  
"No!" He stroked her face. "No. It's just that I've heard nothing. And I think you're right about scheduling."  
She sat up a little. "John... I know I'm right. They haven't even contacted the UK."  
He took a deep breath. "Explain."   
"I got in touch with a contact of mine at the Ministry of Defence in London. He helped me with permits when I filmed with the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. He had a discreet look and confirmed that no one in the US has approached any of the British agencies about me. Not so much as an email."  
Casey sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "I was afraid of that."  
"So what do we do?"   
"I'll call Beckman." He looked up at her, his eyes drifting over her breasts. "Tomorrow." He reached for her again.   
Later they ate pizza in bed while Nic caught him up on the last few weeks.   
“New York was great, the film is shaping up really well. We don’t have an air date yet, but soon. And since I’ve been back, the last couple of weeks, I’ve just been hanging out. Once Ellie let me get out of that cast, I used Carina’s bike-”   
He went to interrupt her but she put a finger to his lips.   
“-Which I am perfectly well qualified to drive and Sarah said I could, to do some exploring, and Ellie took me to her yoga class, which was kind of interesting. Not enough punching and kicking involved though...” She smirked, but then her expression turned serious. “There is something else I need to tell you too, and I’m not sure what you’re going to think.”  
“Okay…” He ran his fingers down her arm and took her hand. “What is it?”  
“It’s nothing bad, it’s just… I met Alex.” She bit her lip. “She came around, looking for you, and I was here.”  
He swallowed. “How was that?”  
“She’s amazing.” Nic shook her head slightly. “Seriously, she’s so smart and sweet. I told her I was your girlfriend, I didn’t know if you’d-”  
“I’d told her. Before I went away. On the phone. Not details, I just said I wanted her to meet you when I got back.”  
“I know, she told me. And I’m sorry you weren’t here. But, you know, I think it went okay. We had coffee. She was friendly.” Nic smiled a little bit. “And her boyfriend seems like a great guy-”  
“Boyfriend? What boyfriend?” Casey almost dropped his slice of pizza.   
“Oh shit!” Nic clapped her hand over her mouth. “I assumed you knew him! You mentioned him at dinner! Or Sarah did, someone did anyway.”  
“Wait, what? What dinner?”  
“At Ellie’s! The night we got back. Someone asked why Morgan wasn’t there.”  
He took a very deep breath and spoke very carefully. “Are you telling me that Morgan Grimes is dating my daughter?”  
Nic made a worried face. “Honestly? They didn’t say they were dating. But they looked… Close? I just assumed…”  
“I am going to kill him.” Casey growled, making to pull back the blankets.   
Nic put a restraining hand on his arm. “It’s nearly midnight! Can’t you add killing your daughter’s boyfriend to tomorrow’s list?”   
There was laughter in her voice, and not for the first time she seemed to have the power to calm him down.   
“Seriously,” She continued. “At risk of incurring further wrath, I thought he seemed like a nice guy, and he obviously thinks a lot of Alex, so nothing bad will happen if you delay his beating for a few hours. And besides,” She took the now squashed remainder of his pizza from his fist and dropped it on the bedside table, “You have other things to do.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him as she moved to sit astride him. 

The next morning, Casey left Nic sleeping as he padded downstairs to telephone the general. They'd been awake most of the night, talking, holding each other and making love, and only succumbed to sleep as the sun was coming up. And right now he needed some answers as to why he seemed to be no closer to having permission to marry her, when it was pretty much all he wanted to do. _Well, other than interrogating Grimes to within an inch of his miserable life... _  
"Colonel Casey, I thought this weekend was your R&R?" Beckman's voice was starchy.  
"That's why I'm calling ma'am. Nicole and I would like an update on our application for clearance to get married."  
Beckman sighed. "Casey, I was hoping we wouldn't have to have this conversation again."   
"I'm sorry, ma'am?" He replied carefully.  
"I assumed that once you were back with your team, focussed on the mission, the notion of marrying this woman would naturally pass. That is why I did not progress the paperwork."  
He was momentarily speechless. He'd suspected it, but he hadn't thought the general would brazenly admit it.  
"Well General, that is not the case."  
Beckman sighed again. "Casey. John. I appreciate that I have asked a lot of you over the past few years, and perhaps I should have been more insistent that you take breaks, let off some steam. So if you choose to do that with Ms Sullivan during her visits to the US, I will happily accommodate it. But I am not going to sanction your marrying her. You are a damn good agent, Colonel Casey, I don't want to see you compromise that for a holiday romance."  
He bit back a number of responses and settled on, "Ma'am, I am confident that my performance and commitment will not be compromised by my relationship."  
"And so am I, Colonel, which is why I am helping you to define the parameters of that relationship."  
Casey was shaking with anger, but letting it out wasn't the answer. "Is that your final position on the matter, ma'am."  
"Yes, Colonel, it is."  
He took a deep breath. "Then as part of your accommodating approach, I'd like to request an extra couple of days R&R."  
"Very well." Beckman sounded satisfied. "If that will be all, Colonel?"  
"Yes ma'am."  
He ensure the line was definitely disconnected before picking up a coffee mug from the table and throwing it against the wall. He rested his hands on the table top, breathing hard. 

"John?"   
He turned to see Nic standing at the bottom of the stairs, wrapped in one of his shirts, her face concerned.   
"Baby, you need to pack a bag." He told her.  
"What for? What's happening?" She moved towards him, carefully stepping over shards of china.  
He reached out and pulled her close. "We're going to Vegas. We're getting married."  
"But... I'm guessing we didn't get clearance."  
He smoothed the worried crease between her eyebrows with his thumb. "You know what? I don't give a fuck." He let out a long breath, and realised that it was true. "I want to marry you. Do you still want to marry me?"  
She nodded. "Of course I do."  
"Then let's do it." He kissed her. "We can drive there today, get married tomorrow, couple of days relaxing, then come back here and face the music."  
"What will they do to you?"  
"I refer you to my previous answer." He found himself actually smiling. "I don't give a fuck." All these years in the military and I might be throwing it all away for a woman, and damn, it feels good.   
"I don't want you to marry me to spite anybody." Nic said softly. "You have to be sure that's not what you're doing."   
He took her face in his hands. "That's not what I'm doing. I'm exercising my free will. Hell, no-one's going to stop Walker marrying Chuck, are they? Just because everyone assumed I was built like a Ken doll below the waist-"  
Nic started laughing. "A Ken doll?!" She snorted.  
He chuckled reluctantly, and wrapped his arms around her. "Yeah."  
"So wrong. So, so wrong." She reached up and kissed him.   
"So, Vegas?" He asked.  
"Vegas." She nodded. "Let's make some calls."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in the chapter is the amazing ‘Cover Me Up’ by the even more amazing Jason Isbell. Go check it out if you haven't heard it already.

They arrived at the hotel in Vegas late in the afternoon, stepping out of the Crown Vic into the hazy heat of the strip. Nic was looking around with a mixture of wonder and horror as Casey handed the car keys to the valet.  
"Bloody hell, it's even more insane than it looks on screen!" Her eyes were wide and she was almost laughing.  
"Wait, you've never been to Vegas before?!" Casey asked in disbelief.  
"Why would I have been here?" She laughed.   
"It's in a desert?" He smirked, and she grinned.   
"Yeah, yeah. You win."  
"But seriously, you decided to get married here and you've never been?"  
"It's where people go to get married quickly, right? Plus, where else can you have Elvis marry you?"  
He snorted. "You know we're not actually being married by an Elvis?"  
"We'll see about that." She gave him an evil grin and then reached up to kiss him.  
Nic was too busy goggling at the over the top décor to pay full attention as they checked in, but Casey was still careful to pocket the itinerary sheet before she could get a look. There were some things she’d discover pretty quickly, but others-  
“Er, John, there’s a bar in our room!” She hissed as they were shown around the suite he’d booked. “Are you expecting a party?!”  
He stiffened slightly but kept his tone nonchalant as he replied. “Short notice, all I could get.”  
She nodded and smirked a little. “At least this means we can drink in our underwear.”   
He reached out and ran a hand over her ass while the hotel employee demonstrated the TV. “While watching sports, apparently. Sounds like a romantic weekend to me.” 

"Well this is definitely romantic," Nic said three hours later as they queued in the Marriage Bureau for their wedding licence. "You don't see this part in the movies."  
"Changing your mind?" He asked semi-seriously as they shuffled forward in the line.   
She shook her head. "Nope. Not going to happen." She shot him a look. "Just in case you were worrying I might."  
"I wasn't!" He protested.  
"That's alright then." She took his hand. "I'm worried you're going to regret it, but I'm selfish enough to push on anyway."  
"Wait, what? Why would I regret it?" He turned her to face him. "Nic?"  
"I don't mean marrying me," She made an impatient gesture. "I mean against orders."  
He sighed. "I'm not saying it's ideal, but there is nothing about this that I'm going to regret. I've wanted to marry you for years."  
She snorted with laughter. "You haven't even known me for a year!"  
"Yeah, but you're what I never knew I always wanted, until you got here." It was hands down the most romantic thing Casey had ever said, or even thought, in his life, and he almost cringed the second it came out of his mouth; but then he saw her face. _And in the bold new spirit of 'I don't give a fuck'... _  
He dropped to one knee in the middle of the crowded office, his back butting the lane barrier, and took her hand.  
"What are you doing?" She hissed, half laughing, as people started to stare.  
"Just realised I never did this properly. Nicole Sullivan, will you marry me? Even though I might face a court martial for it?" He looked up at her seriously, and tried to stop the corner of his mouth from twitching.   
Nic was snorting with laughter but crying a little bit at the same time. "Get up, you bloody idiot!"   
"Not until you realise that of all the decisions I've ever made, this is the one I am the most certain I will never regret." The impulse to smirk had vanished, and Nic seemed to realise it too.   
A tear ran down her cheek as she nodded. “I believe you, I do.”   
He got back to his feet and took her in his arms, wiping away her tears with his thumb. A smattering of applause broke out around them and Nic started laughing again.   
"You never stop surprising me, John Casey." She smiled, the dimples breaking through. "Just when I think I have you pegged, you do something I never expected."  
"So that’s a yes, then?"  
She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. "What do you think?"   
He kissed her back. "We're still not having Elvis."

Casey had booked the ceremony back in Burbank while Nic had gone to run last minute errands, so he had the element of surprise and he was keeping it. Even when she tried to coerce the location out of him in bed that night, he held fast.   
"At least tell me what time tomorrow!" She was sat astride him, her hands splayed on his chest.  
"Three o'clock. Earliest I could get." He groaned a little as she moved on him.  
"Whereabouts?"  
"Still not telling you." He thrust up into her, making her gasp. "Wait. And. See."  
She threw her head back as his thumb found her sweet spot. _Two can play this game._

His wedding day dawned bright and sunny - not that surprising in Vegas - and Casey's first sight was Nic sprawled naked next to him on their enormous bed, her face buried in the pillow. Before waking her, he silently reached for his phone and checked the messages. Everything seemed to be on track. He put it away and leaned over, dropping a kiss at the base of her back and then trailing his tongue lightly upwards along her spine. She groaned a little.   
"Good morning beautiful." He lifted her hair to kiss the back of her neck.   
She rolled over and smiled up at him. "Good morning." She threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled his face to hers for a kiss as she wrapped her legs around him. "Now give me my breakfast…"

Afterwards Casey went to use the bathroom, and when he returned Nic was just hanging up the phone.   
"Who was that?"  
"Room service." She replied.  
"What did you get?"  
"Oh, nothing. Line busy. I'll try again in a second."   
There was something in her expression, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Or maybe he was just being paranoid.   
"What do you want to do this morning?" He asked.  
"Eat breakfast – actual breakfast - and stay in bed." She smiled. "I don't want to get out of bed until the last minute."   
Casey breathed an inward sigh of relief. "Sounds perfect." 

At 2pm, Casey started putting on his dress uniform in the lounge while Nic got ready in the bedroom. He was starting to feel edgy, adrenaline surging. It wasn't the marriage part he was worried about, it was-  
"How do I look?" Nic was standing in front of him, wearing that familiar dark blue silk dress. Her hair was loose and she was wearing just a touch of makeup. She smiled at him and he swallowed.   
"You look beautiful."  
“I ditched the heels, I’m afraid. I don’t want to suffer on my wedding day.” She smirked and he glanced down to see she was wearing a pair of delicate silver flipflops.   
“Good decision. Perfect.”   
"And you look... Impressive!" She took in the uniform. "Very impressive." She stepped close and reached up to kiss him.   
"Does it bother you? The uniform?" He suddenly wondered if he should have worn a suit.  
"Of course not." She touched the decorations on his chest. "You're proud of this. So am I."   
He ran his thumbs over her cheekbones and held her face in his hands as he kissed her.   
"Let's go get married." 

They stood side by side in the elevator, holding hands, and Casey could feel she was shaking slightly. At the same time he was struggling to prevent a bead of nervous sweat from running down the side of his face.  
He glanced over at her, and at the same moment she glanced at him. She was biting her lip a little bit.   
"John, I-"  
"Look, Nic-"  
They both started speaking at the same moment.  
"What is it?" He asked.  
"I might have-"  
The doors opened and interrupted them. As they stepped out into the lobby, Casey quickly scanned the space, but before he could see what he was looking for, his eyes fell on something else entirely.  
"Chuck?!"  
Beside him, Nic was staring in disbelief. "Mike?!"  
He was about to turn to her and explain, when he saw someone else. "Alex?!"   
Nic had started to laugh as two small groups of people approached them, and Casey finally turned to her.   
"What did you do?!" He asked in disbelief.   
"Exactly what you did, apparently!"   
"I didn't want you to get married without your people."  
"Ditto." She smiled.   
Alex was in front of him now. "Hi Dad." She reached up and kissed his cheek, then turned to Nic and kissed her too. “Hi Nic.”  
Chuck and Sarah were standing smiling, hand in hand, as Nic was lifted off her feet by Mike.   
“I can’t believe you’re here!” She said, hugging him hard.   
“Nor can I, Cub, nor can I, but I wasn’t gonna miss it, was I?”  
“But, you flew here, what, yesterday? I don’t-” She turned to Casey, her eyes brimming, but before she could speak a tiny human missile crashed into her legs.   
“Megan?!”  
“Apparently you needed a bridesmaid. Well, that’s what this one decided.” Matt kissed Nic’s cheek and reached over to shake Casey’s hand. “She’ll be wearing those jeans though. Sorry the rest of the family couldn’t make it, but one truant is enough.”  
Nic looked down at Megan and laughed. “Megan, you can be my bridesmaid only if you promise to wear those jeans. And the Doc Martens. Deal?”  
“Deal!” Megan hugged Casey’s legs as Sarah and Chuck stepped in to greet them.   
“Ellie really wanted to come, and Devon, but they were both working.” Sarah wiped a smudge of mascara from Nic’s cheek.   
“Congratulations, man. Seriously.” Chuck shook Casey’s hand. “Glad we’re here to see it.”  
“Is Morgan here?” Casey asked, looking around, his tone a little ominous.  
“He’s waiting outside, Dad, until you promise not to kill him.” Alex put her hand on his arm. “Please?”  
Nic looked up at him. “Marriage first, murder of daughter’s boyfriend later. Agreed?”   
He looked into her eyes and couldn’t help smiling. “I can’t believe you did this.”  
“I can’t believe you did!” There were tears in her eyes, even though she was smiling.   
“Come on, the car will be waiting. Let’s get married.”

The wedding chapel Casey had picked was relatively tasteful for Vegas, and the officiant who greeted them did so with friendly enthusiasm.   
“So, is someone giving the bride away?” She asked.   
Nic shook her head firmly. “We’ll walk down the aisle together, right?”  
Casey nodded. “Right.”  
“And are you making personal vows?” The officiant smiled at them.  
Casey glanced at Nic and she looked as nonplussed as he did. “Er… We didn’t think of that.”  
“That’s fine, just the standard ceremony then. And rings?”  
Casey tried not to laugh, and Nic replied, “I’ve already got the only one I need.”  
The officiant was still smiling. _Thank god for Vegas._ “And do you have a wedding party?”  
“Just a few guests.” Casey said, looking round at the small group gathered in the foyer.  
“Great, then if your guests would like to be seated, we can get you married!”

Casey hadn’t expected to find the process a particularly emotional one. After all, they’d both been clear that it was about the marriage, not the wedding. So it was a surprise to find a lump in his throat as he walked down the short aisle to the officiant’s table with Nic at his side, her hand held firmly in his.   
When they reached the front and he turned to face her, he could see just a touch of moisture at the corners of her eyes as she smiled up at him. The officiant was speaking, but he barely heard the opening words as he reached out and touched Nic’s cheek. In fact the whole ceremony seemed kind of blurred, the only clear focal point the face of the woman standing in front of him.   
“Do you take this woman…?”  
“To have and to hold…”  
He said what he was supposed to say, and so did she, and their eyes were locked together the entire time.   
“Then I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”  
He took Nic’s face in his hands and kissed her, and it was only when their small wedding party started whooping and cheering that Casey remembered there was anyone else there.   
He gently broke their kiss and looked into her eyes again.   
“I love you.”  
“I love you too.” She sounded a little breathless. “Did we just, I mean, Christ, did we just get married?!” She started to laugh, and he felt the emotion roll out of him in a burst of laughter of his own. And then he was kissing her again.

They went back to the hotel, where the purpose of the suite was now clear. Gathered in the lounge, Casey dismissed the hotel’s offer of a barman and opened the champagne himself. As the bubbles flowed and their friends mingled, he kept Nic’s hand clasped tight in his.  
“So if there’s no best man,” Chuck asked. “Who gives the speech embarrassing the heck out of you, Casey?”  
“No speeches.” Casey replied, and Nic nodded.  
“Well we’re having a toast.” Mike said firmly. “Charge your glasses, ladies and gents.”  
Casey glanced at Nic and she shrugged and smiled.   
“I ain’t making a speech,” Mike said, “I’m just gonna ask you all to raise your glasses to my girl Cub and her new husband. Never thought I’d live to see the day. To Nic and Casey!”  
“Nic and Casey!” Everyone repeated, as the toast was drunk.  
"So you didn't have vows, or rings, or buttonholes, and you didn't have speeches, so you should at least have a first dance!" Chuck declared.   
Casey was about to tell him to keep his suggestions to himself, when he saw Nic was smiling. She leaned close and murmured in his ear.   
"Might be nice. I’ve never danced with you before.” She paused, raising her voice slightly as she asked, “What song though?”  
"I got it." Alex said quietly. "I mean, if you want?" She gestured to the iPod dock on the bar.   
"Sure." Casey had to admit he was intrigued, and Nic nodded her agreement.   
He took her in his arms, one hand on her waist and one holding hers. The idea of dancing in front of people as some kind of show made his teeth itch, but it was what Nic wanted, and as the music started, a slow guitar and a Southern voice, he found himself forgetting his irritation and focussing on the feeling of dancing with her. 

_"A heart on the run, keeps a hand on the gun, can't trust anyone,"_  
He met Nic's eyes and she half smiled, her hand moving from his shoulder to his face, tracing the scar on his cheek.   
_"In days when we raged, we flew off the page, such damage was done,"_  
He pulled her a little tighter against him as he saw tears brim in her eyes. She let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck.   
_"But I made it through, 'cause somebody knew, I was meant for someone,"_  
The tears spilled over and Nic pushed her face into his chest as he rested his cheek on the top of her head, still swaying to the music.   
_"So girl leave your boots by the bed, we ain't leaving this room; til someone needs medical help or the magnolias bloom,"_  
Nic raised her head and looked up at him for a moment, and seeing the look on her face he felt tears prickling in his own eyes.  
_"So cover me up, and know you're enough, to use me for good."_  
He buried his face in her hair to hide his emotions, his hands moving over her back as they continued to dance. Images flashed through his head - the first time he saw her, the first time they slept together, the way she looked in the mornings, her wicked smile, the look on her face when he gave her his ring... And the way she'd looked today, when the officiant was marrying them.  
_"Home was a dream, one I'd never seen, til you came along."_  
Nic was crying softly into his chest and he knew a couple of hidden tears of his own were running into her hair. A small part of him was still dimly aware that they weren't alone, that people were watching them, and he raised his head just for a second.   
Sarah and Chuck were dancing together too, as were Alex and Morgan, and at that moment he couldn't bring himself to be upset about it. Matt was holding Megan on his lap, and Mike was watching him and Nic with a look on his grizzled face so tender that Casey had to look away. He looked back down at Nic and saw that she'd lifted her tearstained face and was gazing up at him with a slight smile.   
"Your daughter can definitely pick a song." She said softly, and he lowered his face to hers and kissed her slowly as the song drew to a close. 

Much later, Casey was standing by the bar watching Nic dance with Alex, Morgan and Chuck. Her hair was flying around and she was laughing, a glass of champagne still clutched in her hand. Megan had fallen asleep on the sofa and Mike and Matt were talking motorbikes over her head.   
"How are you?" Sarah asked softly, joining him and pouring more champagne into both their glasses.  
He grunted. "Not bad at all."  
"How's your wedding?"   
He glanced over and saw her smile was a little teasing.  
"Not bad at all." He repeated.  
"Admit it, you're glad we're here."   
"Sure I am. Well, most of you."  
She followed his gaze to Alex and Morgan, who were now dancing together properly.  
"Are you going to kill him?"  
Casey looked at Alex's glowing face and sighed. "Maybe tomorrow."  
Sarah smiled and nudged his arm. "Casey, you got married!"  
"I did." He drained his glass. "You going to marry Chuck?"  
"Maybe."  
He glanced over to see her looking torn. "You love him."  
"That's not the problem."  
"You're over complicating it." He tipped his chin towards Nic. "I love her. I don't want to be without her. So I married her."  
"But our jobs..."  
He shook his head. "You're making excuses. When you know, you know. And you know."  
Sarah nodded slowly. "When did you know?"  
"Ah," He gestured hazily with his Cuban. "I just did."  
"But when?" Sarah looked curious now. "Because that night in Castle, when you'd just got back from Washington and she called you, I'd never seen you look like that. That happy."  
He thought about it for a second. "Honestly? About ten seconds after I saw her. But it took me a little while to catch up."  
"How long?"  
He smirked just a little bit. "Twenty four hours, maybe less."   
"Casey in love..." Sarah hiccupped slightly and Casey suddenly realised that she was pretty drunk.  
"You should go to bed."  
"I should go dance with Chuck."  
"You could do that."   
He snickered as she stumbled a little as she joined Chuck on the makeshift dance floor. 

As Sarah entered the fray, Nic left it, dancing slowly up to him. She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him.  
"Hello husband." She started to laugh. "Oh god, husband! So weird!"  
He grinned at her. "You said it, wife!"  
She kissed him again, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close.  
"So," She murmured in his ear, "How much longer before we can kick these guys out and consummate this marriage?"  
"Just about ten seconds." He replied, leaning over and pulling the power chord out of the iPod dock, abruptly cutting the music. "Okay! Party's over!"   
"Casey!" Nic looked shocked for a moment and then started to laugh. "Go down to the main bar," She said to the others. "Charge it to the room. Seriously, party on. We'll probably come and join you in a bit."  
Casey started to growl and she trod hard on his foot.  
Matt, who was more sober than the others, picked up the sleeping Megan from the sofa and started to conga out of the door, leading Morgan to pick up the chant and the rest of them to follow. As Matt reached the door he turned and gave an almost imperceptible wink. 

As the door closed behind them, Nic burst out laughing.   
"I can't believe you did that."  
"I can't believe you're still wearing clothes." He retorted, and swept her off her feet.   
"Wait!" She paused to grab Alex’s iPod from the dock as he carried her through to the bedroom. "I want our song. Actually, I want another dance. Alone this time."  
He reluctantly set her back on her feet, and she put the iPod on the bedside table, flicking through the playlist until she found what she was looking for.  
_"A heart on the run, keeps a hand on the gun, can't trust anyone..."_  
She moved into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing close as they swayed to the music. As the song moved into the chorus, he slowly unzipped her dress and she shimmied her hips a little to let it fall to the floor. Underneath she was wearing a blue lacy bra and matching panties that he hadn't seen before.  
"Something new," She murmured, as she started to undo the buttons of his shirt.  
"What?"   
"You know, something old, something new..."  
He smirked a little. "Thought we weren't doing any traditions?"  
"A tiny bit of secret tradition never hurt." She finished unbuttoning his shirt and he helped her pull it off before she started on his pants.   
"So what were the others?"  
They were still swaying slightly to the music, but Casey had to stop to kneel and take off his shoes.   
"Something old: the dress; something new: underwear; something borrowed: the shoes were Ellie's; something blue: the dress again. See, I thought it through."  
He came back to his feet, now wearing only his boxer shorts, and pulled her back into his arms.   
_"So girl leave your boots by the bed, we ain't leaving this room, til someone needs medical help or the magnolias bloom..."_  
"This guy's got the right idea." Casey lifted Nic gently onto the bed and kissed her, running his hands slowly over her body, reaching behind her to undo her bra, pulling it off and dropping his head to kiss her breasts.   
She moaned softly and ran her fingers into his hair as he moved downwards, tracing his tongue around her belly button and making her giggle a little bit before he slowly removed her panties, and his own boxers.   
"I love you," She whispered as he settled over her, parting her thighs with his knee. "I have done since always."  
"Me too." He whispered back, kissing her. "Loved you, since always."  
Casey kissed his wife again as he pushed inside her and heard her breathing catch, feeling her legs wrap around his waist as he moved slowly in and out of her. He stroked her cheek, his lips still on hers, as he caught the lyrics of the song playing on repeat in the background.  
_"I made it through, 'cause somebody knew, I was meant for someone."_  
And then he was aware of nothing but Nic, right through until the morning.


	17. Chapter 17

“So, how exactly are you planning on handling this, Casey?” Chuck hissed as they stood in front of the video screen in Castle, waiting for Beckman to call in.   
Casey grunted, staring impassively ahead and trying to ignore the worried looks Chuck and Sarah were exchanging.   
Beckman’s face appeared on screen. “Good morning Agent Walker, Mr Bartowski, Colonel Casey. I trust you all enjoyed your R&R?”  
“Yes General, thank you.” Sarah replied, and Chuck mumbled something equivalent.   
“Casey?” Beckman turned her gaze on him, and he cleared his throat.   
“Very much so, General. Particularly the part where I got married.” Confront the enemy head on.   
Sarah kicked him hard on the ankle but he refused to flinch.   
“Excuse me, Casey, I think I misheard you.” Beckman’s tone was icy.   
“I went to Vegas. Got married. I can fax you the certificate for my file.” He kept his tone matter of fact, just the way he’d planned. However this turned out, there was no way he was going to behave unprofessionally, even if Beckman had in forbidding him to marry Nic.   
“Sarah, Chuck, can you leave the room please. I would like to speak to Colonel Casey in private.” Beckman’s face was turning red.   
Chuck shot Casey an agonised look as he and Sarah left.  
Casey kept his face expressionless as he stared down the General. “Ma’am?”  
“Am I to understand, Colonel, that you deliberately disobeyed orders and proceeded to marry this woman without appropriate clearance?”   
“That’s correct, ma’am.”  
Beckman was shaking her head. “What do you expect me to do, Casey?”  
_Open the champagne? _“If the clearance can be expedited-”  
“That is not what I meant!” Beckman snapped. “I made it very clear that I would not agree to your pursuing this foolish course of action. Now that you have done so against my express instruction, I need to decide what to do with you. I am loathe to decommission you, since that did not work out well last time, so I believe the best course of action is to return you to your military unit.”  
Of all the possibilities, this wasn’t one Casey had expected. “I’m sorry ma’am?”  
“Your time in the NSA is over. You will revert to your previous status as a member of the Marine Corps. I will process your transfer, and you should expect to report to Pendleton at 09:00 tomorrow.”  
The shock was winning against his desire to stay impassive, and his voice began to rise. “General, as I said during our previous conversation, my relationship does not impact my ability to perform as part of this team.”   
Beckman sighed. “Casey, it already has. If you can’t see that then you are considerably less intelligent than you have led me to believe. I will miss working with you, but my decision is final.”  
The call disconnected and Casey was left staring at a blank screen. 

Sarah came in slowly.   
“You heard that?” He asked.  
“Yeah.” She laid a tentative hand on his arm. “What are you going to do?”  
“You heard the order. Report to Pendleton at 09:00.”  
“But if you go back in the Corps you’ll likely be deployed for months at a time. You won’t be based here in Burbank anymore, and-”  
“I am well aware of that, Agent Walker.” He shook off Sarah’s hand and straightened up, years of military conditioning taking over. “I accept the consequences of my actions.”   
“Casey-” Sarah shook her head. “You’ve changed so much. Nic… Please don’t throw that away.”  
He walked past her, out of the room and out of Castle, his jaw clenched and his shoulders tight. He didn’t stop until he reached the Vic, and once he was sat in the driver’s seat, he leaned on the wheel and rested his head in his hands.   
He had spent a lot of time over the past couple of days considering what Beckman would do when she found out about the marriage, and he’d convinced himself that he could handle any of the consequences. But the prospect of returning to the Corps for standard duties wasn’t one he’d thought of. In fact, he hadn’t thought of any that didn’t involve being able to remain in Burbank. She could have suspended him, disciplined him, hell, she could have decommissioned him, but returning him to his unit?  
He rubbed his hands over his face. They could make it work, he was sure of it. Nic would have to be willing to schedule around the deployments, but… He shook his head. That was never going to happen. He wouldn’t even ask her to.   
“I need to talk to her.” He said aloud, turning on the ignition. 

When he reached the apartment, Nic was working at the table, two laptops running sections of film footage simultaneously while she scrawled notes on a pad. She paused the footage immediately as he walked in.   
“How did it go?” He saw her forehead creased in concern and wanted to reach out to her, but somehow he couldn’t.  
“Not good.” He answered heavily and came to sit opposite her. She pushed one of the laptops out of the way so the tabletop between them was clear.   
“How not good?”  
He swallowed. “I’m being returned to my unit. I have to report to Camp Pendleton at 09:00 tomorrow.”  
“What does that mean?” She was staring at him, but he couldn’t quite meet her eye.  
“It means long deployments, probably being based somewhere overseas. If I go back into special ops then most of the time I’ll be out of communication. If I do get leave, it’ll be last minute and we won’t be able to plan ahead.” The stark truth was rolling off his tongue, and he felt sick as he watched her absorb it like a body blow.   
“Okay.” She nodded slowly. “Is there any other option?”  
“Aside from quitting? No.”  
“Okay.” She said again. “John, could you please… Could you look at me?”  
He steeled himself and met her eyes. She looked scared.   
“I don’t know what to say. This isn’t my world, you have to explain it to me. What I’m hearing is that we won’t see each other, or even speak, for months at a time, and even then only if I’m able to drop everything at a moment’s notice?” She sounded like she was almost pleading to be wrong.   
“That’s about the size of it.” He replied, his voice rasping in his dry throat. The idea made him feel like a band was tightening around his chest.   
“What are we going to do?” She whispered.   
“I don’t know.” His eyes were still locked with hers, but the hurt he could see made him want to look away. “I could quit. Retire. I could.”   
“But you don’t want to.” It wasn’t a question, but in a way he almost wished it was. If she asks me…  
But Nic had moved on. “Can you talk to your general again? Maybe once she calms down-”  
“It’s unlikely. She’s made up her mind. The orders will have already gone through.”  
Nic got up and fetched a bottle of Scotch and two glasses from the kitchen. She poured them both a measure and set one in front of him.   
“I have some news too.” She said quietly. “I was waiting to tell you until we knew what was happening.”  
“What is it?”  
“Two of the guys from the rally, Simon – you met him in Wales – and Drew, are doing a round the world trip, riding bikes from different eras, different countries. They want me to film it. There’s funding, sponsorship, lined up. It could be amazing.” Her voice was flat rather than excited, and he felt a pain in his chest for being the cause of that.   
“How long?” He asked.  
“A year.” She looked him straight in the eye. “I haven’t said yes. I wanted to discuss it with you first. I was thinking you could have flown out, or I could have flown back, met up on the road, you know? But if you’re deployed then-”  
“That won’t work.” He finished for her.   
She nodded. “We really wouldn’t see each other, would we?”  
“We probably wouldn’t anyway. You should go.” It came out more bluntly than he’d intended.   
Her mouth dropped open slightly. “Are you saying you’re okay not seeing me for a year?”  
“Of course I’m not fucking okay!” He leapt out of his seat and started to pace. “None of this is fucking okay!”  
“Then what do we do?” She was on her feet now too, her voice becoming heated. “I’m trying to be calm about this, but fucking hell Casey, what is wrong with these people?! How does getting married, something people do every day, become something punishable?! What is this life? I don’t understand it!” She brushed away angry tears.   
“It’s my life!” He shouted back. “It was my whole life until you-” He bit back the words.  
“Until I what?” She asked quietly. “Say it.”  
“Until you came along. That’s all.” He lowered his own voice.   
“I told you you’d regret it. Marrying me against orders. I knew it. And I was stupid and selfish enough to go along with it.” She was almost talking to herself as she brushed away more tears, her movements jerky and frustrated. “Cole said I would ruin your career, he was right, wasn’t he?”  
“No!” He finally felt able to reach out to her, walking around the table to catch her hands in his. “You didn’t ruin anything. These were my choices.”  
She shook her head, staring at the floor. “This is never going to work.”  
He looked down at the top of her head, breathing in the faint scent of her shampoo, and as he did so he remembered how it felt when they’d got married. The absolute certainty that this was what he was supposed to be doing. _I haven’t felt that way about a mission in a very long time. _  
“I’m going back to speak to Beckman again. I’ll work something out.” The words sounded powerless even as he said them, but he knew he had to at least try.   
She nodded slightly, but she still didn’t quite meet his eye, and her posture was defeated.   
“Nic, just… Wait here, and I’ll be back.” He kissed the side of her face and made to leave.  
“Wait!”   
He turned and she threw herself into his arms, kissing him fiercely. He held her tight and kissed her back with equal force. For a second he considered tearing off her clothes and lifting her onto the table, but she pulled back before he could.   
“Okay.” She mustered a smile. “Go and talk to your general.”  
He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, running his thumb along her cheekbone. “I’ll be back soon.”

As he walked down the stairs of Castle, he could already hear Chuck’s agitated voice.   
“I’m going to refuse to flash until she reinstates Casey!”  
He couldn’t help a half smile. He wouldn’t like to admit it, but the loyalty they had to one another in Team Bartowski meant a lot to him.   
“No you won’t, Bartowski. Chuck.” He said as he stepped into the room. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but no point putting your career on the line as well.”  
“But Casey, Chuck’s right. We need to make the General see that the team doesn’t work without you.” Sarah said.  
He shook his head. “You two would do fine without me. You have before, you will again.”   
“But we’re a team,” Sarah protested. “And you’re the best partner I ever had!”  
“So what are you going to do?” Chuck asked at the same time. “You’re John Casey, you’re not going to just give up?”  
“I’m not giving her up. Everything else is negotiable. But not that.” As he said it, Casey accepted it as the truth, and he felt the band around his chest loosen a little. “And it’s not just Nic. Alex is here too, I don’t want to lose her either.”  
“So what are you going to do?” Chuck asked again.  
“Do me a favour will you? Clear out and let me call Beckman?”  
Chuck nodded reluctantly, but Sarah looked like she was about to say something.   
“Casey-”  
“What is it, Walker?”  
“Just- Remember what you told me in Vegas, at your wedding party?”  
He thought back. “Yeah?”  
“That’s all – just remember it.”   
He grunted in acknowledgement, and Chuck led Sarah out of the room. 

Beckman answered the videocall immediately, but looked surprised to see Casey rather than Sarah or Chuck.   
“Colonel Casey? I thought I made my position clear this morning.”  
“With respect, ma’am, I wanted to give you the opportunity to reconsider.”  
“That’s very kind of you Colonel,” Beckman replied with heavy sarcasm, “But I’m perfectly happy with my decision.”  
“You don’t object to Chuck and Sarah being a couple, working together, living together. But you object when it’s me. I don’t understand why.”  
“They aren’t soldiers, Casey, you are. You should know better.” The general snapped.  
“I didn’t plan it.” He said, trying to remain calm. “But plenty of soldiers are married, with families.”  
“But not you! You’re a weapon, Casey! One of our best and strongest! I could always trust you to do the most difficult jobs, to obey orders without question-”  
_To do terrible things with a clear conscience, for the good of my country. And I was good at it, really good at it. But it’s not all I am. Not anymore. _  
“-It was a mistake sending you to Burbank, you started to become… intimate with people. You lost your edge. But since your team was working, I was loathe to remove you. But this is the last straw. You’re not in love with this woman, you’re in the throes of a holiday romance, and you’re throwing away a distinguished career. Frankly, I’m disappointed in you.”  
Casey was silent for a moment, taking it in. He weighed the General’s opinions carefully, a lifetime of obeying senior officers forcing him to at least consider what she had said. But then, with a feeling of unexpected relief, he dismissed them.   
“General, I wanted to give you a chance to reconsider, so that I could be clear as to what my options are. I understand that I can either return to my unit and report to Pendleton, or presumably I can be discharged from the service. Those are my only choices. Is that correct?”  
“Absolutely.” Beckman’s face was resolute.  
If Casey had ever imagined this moment before, he would have assumed it would be the most difficult decision he’d ever have to make. In the event, it was the easiest. 

As he drove back to the apartment, he debated how to tell Nic his decision, and settled on giving her the plain facts. Then he’d see how she reacted and take it from there.   
Her laptops and other equipment were gone from the table, and her boots and jacket were no longer in the hall cupboard. He walked slowly upstairs, but he already knew what he’d find. Every trace of her was gone from the apartment.   
She hadn’t been kissing him for luck, or to make up the argument. She’d been kissing him goodbye. The only consolation he could muster was that she hadn’t left his ring. 

Well if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was find people who didn’t want to be found.


	18. Chapter 18

She’d chosen the same seat. Casey stood and observed her for a moment before he crossed the bar to join her. It had all started here, it somehow made sense that this was where they’d end up. A hotel in Washington, midsized, unremarkable, where two people just happened to have been at the same time. _Two people who fell crazy in love with each other. _  
He took a deep breath and walked across the room to the bar, taking the same position he’d stood in the night they’d met. Nic turned and gave him a wry little smile before turning her attention back to her drink.  
“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world… You had to track my phone to this one.” Her tone was hard to read.  
He nodded, choosing his words carefully. “You didn’t make it hard.”  
She shrugged, still staring into her glass. “I was going to ditch my phone when I got on the plane to London.” She sounded almost offhand.  
He felt the anger rise inside him and he reached out and grasped her chin in his hand, making her look at him. Now that he could see her face properly, he noted her pallor and slightly swollen eyelids. The proof that she wasn’t as indifferent as she pretended allowed him to ask the question he’d been turning over in his head for the last twenty-four hours. “Why the hell did you run?”  
She tried to pull her head away but he held fast, and she sighed before answering. “I didn’t want to ruin your career. I figured this way you had a good reason to choose your job. You didn’t have to sit me down and have the conversation. You’re too good a man to have done that. And I didn’t want you with me and miserable-” Her voice had started to rise, and he could see she was biting her lip to hold back tears.  
“As opposed to without you and miserable?” He lowered his voice a little. “Nic, you’re my wife. I told you enough times, I don’t regret that choice.”  
She closed her eyes for a moment before replying. “Nor do I, but I have nothing to regret. Being with you, marrying you, it doesn’t mess up my career. No one’s going to punish me for falling in love with you. But it’s not like that for you, and it’s because I love you so damn much that I was trying to be… I don’t know, the better fucking person?” She gave a mirthless little laugh. “But I couldn’t even get that right, because I got here and I was going to fly straight out again, but when it came to it I couldn’t do it.” She looked up at him. “Turns out I’m just not that selfless.”  
Suddenly her initial attitude made more sense. _When she’s embarrassed, she gets defensive._ “You didn’t need to run.” He said softly. “I made my choice before you left. And I’d make it again, every time.” He gently let go his hold on her chin, and took her hand instead.  
He saw her swallow. “What do you mean?”

“I’m done.” He replied, feeling the last pull of that band around his chest loosen and fall away. Telling her finally made it real. “I’m out. I might have carried on if they’d let me stay with my team, stay in Burbank, be married to you. But they won’t, so I’m done.”  
“Oh God.” She pressed her free hand over her mouth, muffling her words as she said, “That’s exactly what I didn’t want you to do.”  
“You’re not listening.” He tried not to let the frustration show in his voice. “It’s what I want to do. It’s my choice. Mine. Just like you’re my choice.” He took a breath. “And if you tell me that you’re still going to London, that you’re still leaving, then it will still be my choice. This isn’t about choosing between two things, it’s not either/or.”  
The look on her face gave him the courage to say what he had to say next, to express the thoughts that had been jostling the edges of his mind for months. “Burbank changed me. Working with Sarah and Chuck. Working a cover job at the goddamn Buy More with morons – okay, maybe not all morons – like Morgan Grimes. Finding out about Alex, getting to know her… And then you. Meeting you, falling in love with you. Beckman saw it that I’d changed for the worse, but it’s for the better.”  
Nic was smiling now, those dimples breaking through, and suddenly she was off the barstool and into his arms, her arms wrapping around his neck as he pulled her tight against him, holding her close with her head buried in his shoulder. After a long moment, he pulled back just a fraction to look into her eyes.  
“I love you, okay? So don’t you ever, ever, run from me again.”  
“I love you so much.” Her lips met his, and only the bartender coughing rather theatrically made them pull apart. She smirked slightly, “Maybe we should get a drink? Give him something else to do?”  
“Maybe I should take you upstairs and fuck you senseless?” He countered.  
She bit her lip and let him see the desire in her eyes before she smiled again. “There’s plenty of time for that later, and I do mean plenty, but I want to know something first: if you’re not going to be a spy anymore, or a soldier, what will you do now?” 

This was the other part that he’d spent the whole plane journey preparing for, and he took a deep breath before answering her. _Here goes nothing…_  
“Long term, I don’t know. I haven’t figured that out. Short term, I have a job offer, but I wanted to talk it through with you.”  
“Okay…” Her tone was a little wary, and he squeezed her hand.  
He gestured to the barman and waited until they had full glasses before beginning. “I don’t know how you’re going to feel about it, and I will absolutely take your view. But when I found out you were gone, I thought you’d head to London. While I was searching the flight databases, I rang Matt to get in touch with the guys who offered you the round the world project. I thought you’d at least let them know your plans.”  
She nodded. “Of course. But-”  
He interrupted her. “So I talked to Simon on the phone, a long conversation actually, he’s an interesting guy. Ex-British Navy.”  
“Yeah, I know.” She looked puzzled. “Casey-”  
This time he put a finger to her lips. “Baby, please let me tell you.”  
She smirked. “Okay, snuggles.”  
He snorted a little and continued. “Well he told me that the idea is for the two of them to be riding all these different bikes, and for the camera person – you – to be in a support vehicle. Well, someone needs to drive that vehicle, someone who can take care of security, maybe knows some of the languages, can work with the local fixers.”  
“Right…” She still looked puzzled.  
He raised his eyebrows and waited a second.  
“Wait – are you saying you? That’s the job offer?” She sounded incredulous.  
“Offer, yeah. I didn’t say yes, I wanted to talk to you. I thought it’s a year, see what happens, give me a chance to think about what’s next… But if that doesn’t work for you, if you think it’s a bad idea-”  
She shook her head violently. “I think it could be brilliant. I mean, we’d have to have some agreements around you not stopping me doing my job because you think it’s dangerous-”  
“And you not pulling dumbass stunts like the one you did in Wales.” He countered.  
She rolled her eyes. “But other than that, the idea of spending a year travelling the world with you… Well, I can’t think of a better honeymoon, anyway!” She paused. “Except…”  
“Except..?”  
“Isn’t it a bit of a climb down? I mean, you’ve been running around saving the world-”  
He snorted. “Not quite.”  
She tutted impatiently. “You know what I mean.”  
He took her hand again. “I’ve had a good career, I’ve done some good things. Some bad things too. This seems like a good way to get some space, see some of the world in a different way. Work out what’s next. And spend a year with my beautiful wife.”  
“And this has nothing to do with the appeal of being in countries where you’re able to carry multiple firearms without a licence?” She started to laugh, and he sniggered.  
“Well, it might have been a factor…”  
She smirked up at him, and the look in her eye made him grin.  
“We’re really going to do this, aren’t we?” She asked.  
“Damn straight.”  
She stood up and drained her drink, then took a tighter hold of his hand. “Come on.”  
“Where are we going?” He asked, unable to hold back a smirk.  
“Where do you think?”

He had a strong sense of déjà vu as they fell through the door of her room and he pushed her against the wall to kiss her.  
“Haven’t we been here before?” She smirked, and he growled. “Is this the part where you take me against the wall? Or the part where you make me hold the bedhead while you do unspeakable things to me?”  
“How about the part where I kiss you just to stop you snarking at me?” He countered.  
“That works too.” She breathed as he took her mouth again.  
It had barely been forty-eight hours, but it felt like a hundred years. Casey didn’t bother with unbuttoning her shirt, he just ripped it open, desperate to feel her skin against his, to touch her, taste her, make her his again. It was clear Nic felt the same, as she managed to almost tear the sleeve clean off his tshirt, her fingers fumbling with his fly as she let out a snarl of frustration.  
“I need you now!” She panted as he pulled off her jeans, and she tried to toe off her boots simultaneously.  
Another time it might have been funny, but not now. When they were finally naked, Casey almost threw her onto the bed, covering her body with his and thrusting inside of her as she arched and moaned.  
“Yes!”  
She pulled his head down for a hard kiss, their teeth clashing, her hips bucking up to meet his. He groaned at the feeling of her moving with him, her legs spread wide and her hands on his ass, pushing him deeper.  
“Jesus, Nic…” He grabbed at her arms, pinning her hands over her head and raising up slightly to look down at her face. His hips stilled and the mood suddenly shifted as he met her eyes.  
“Please!” She gasped, but it was softer now, her legs wrapping around his waist as he moved more slowly, kissing her almost gently. He could feel her shuddering beneath him, appreciate the softness of her skin against his, and he had a flashback to the night in this hotel when she’d told him about Afghanistan, about losing her friend, and he’d made love to her; first started to realise that he was in love with her.  
“I love you,” He murmured against her lips, and she nodded as she kissed him, her body arching, her eyes still locked with his as she gasped and came, pulling him over the edge with her.  
“We’ve come such a long way from here.” She said softly as they lay tangled together afterwards, “In such a short amount of time.”  
He took her hand, lifting it to see the ring on her finger. “Not least in that you’re now Mrs Casey.”  
“I think you’ll find you’re Colonel Sullivan!” She retorted.  
He shook his head. “Mister.”  
She turned her head to look at him. “How about we stick with the one name? Like Madonna?”  
He grunted his confusion.  
“Casey.” She clarified. “Just be Casey.”  
He pulled her closer and kissed her. “I can do that.”

****  
_Eight months later _

Nic nestled close to Casey so they could both see the laptop screen as the connection tried to go through. While the computer struggled to bounce the signal around the doubtless vast array of different satellites, Casey took a moment to look across the landscape spread out below them. Perched on the side of a scrubby hill, they had a clear view for miles across the terrain. Once he would have been scanning for danger, assessing the best vantage points and formulating a potential counter attack. Now he could turn that instinct off if he wanted to, and just take it all in. 

It hadn’t been a seamless adjustment. He’d thought the time in Burbank with the likes of Chuck and Morgan had prepared him for a less regimented life, but the first few weeks of this trip had felt like herding cats, and he’d permanently been on the verge of losing his temper. Over time though, he’d come to appreciate the different type of discipline that these guys applied. They were serious about the trip, the project, they just approached it in a less rigid way. He now considered Simon and Drew close friends of his, and felt as invested in the project as they were. 

He glanced at Nic and she smiled, her tanned face a little pink from the chill evening air. She had a wool cap pulled securely over her ears, hiding her hair, but her heavy clothing couldn’t completely disguise the curves of her body.  
“Appreciating the view?” She asked with a smirk, and he grunted.  
“I’ve seen worse.” 

It hadn’t always been easy; for two such independent people, being in a relationship at all was always going to present something of a challenge, and being together twenty-four seven had been a mixed blessing at points. She was stubborn and never liked to admit being wrong, he was used to being closed off and had a tendency to give orders instead of starting discussions. But other than a particularly furious row in Morocco over Nic’s desire to ride a motorbike that hadn’t been serviced since World War 2, and a two day separation in Italy after she declared herself ready to throw him over a cliff if he didn’t work out how to stop acting like a drill sergeant, they’d done pretty well. In fact, if he was honest, he’d have to say that by this point, he was the happiest he’d ever been. 

As if reading his mind, Nic cuddled closer and he wrapped his arm around her. He was about to kiss her when the laptop made a hopeful sort of sound and a pixelated image appeared on screen.  
“Can you hear us?” Said a slightly distorted voice.  
“Yes! Can you see us?” Nic replied, as the image sharpened.  
Chuck waved out at them from the screen, Sarah beside him smiling. Their faces were pressed together and they looked glowingly happy.  
“How was the wedding?” Casey asked.  
“I can’t believe you weren’t there!” Sarah replied.  
“It was very traditional. You would have hated it.” Chuck chipped in with a grin.  
“You’ve got pictures though, right?” Nic asked. “When we get back, I want to see a lot of pictures.”  
Casey shuddered a little. “Just one or two will be enough.”  
Nic elbowed him and Chuck and Sarah laughed.  
“Where are you guys?” Sarah asked, the sound reaching them a few seconds after they saw the movement of her lips.  
Casey glanced around again. “Somewhere on the borders of Mongolia, Kazakhstan and Russia.”  
“And you have video call?” Chuck asked incredulously.  
“Would you believe Morgan hooked us up?” Nic laughed. “Not sure how long it’ll work, but-”  
“Well while we have you, we got an offer for you, Casey.” Chuck said, glancing at Sarah. “We’ve come into a little bit of money, kind of a long story…”  
Sarah interrupted. “And we’ve parted ways with the CIA.”  
Casey opened his mouth to react but Chuck had carried on speaking.  
“So we’re setting up on our own. Carmichael Industries. Spies for hire. And we were thinking, when you get back, you might want to join-”  
The screen abruptly cut to black, a screech of static, and then the hum of a disconnected line.  


Nic turned to Casey, already starting to laugh. “What the hell? Did they just offer you a job?”  
Casey ran a hand over his face, and then started to laugh himself, a laugh tinged with disbelief. _Trust Bartowski…_  
“So I guess it’s lucky we kept hold of the apartment in LA, huh?” Nic asked.  
“Whoa, I didn’t say I was going to take it!” He protested, “Don’t even know what they’re really offering yet, or why they’ve left the CIA, or…” He trailed off, realising there was no point. She knew him, and he knew himself, and they both knew exactly where they were going home to now.  
“So I guess it’s true what they say,” Nic leaned in and kissed him. “All roads lead to Burbank.”  
“That’s not a thing.” He kissed her back, using his weight to ease her onto the ground so he could cover her body with his as he kissed her again.  
“And yet somehow,” She noted, sliding her hand under the back of his jacket, “It is.”  
Casey just grunted. _After all, she’s got a point. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done! Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed! I've been saying I'll write a sequel to this where Morgan and Alex get married for, oh, about four years at this point, but you never know, it might still happen one day!


End file.
